Hope Ain't Hoe.

[the_DarkDefender]

There’s this girl I’m crazy about
I mean, I’m losing my mind over her, can’t stop thinking about her, and so on. I think she likes me back (she actually messaged me saying so about six months ago), but I don’t think she was serious; I figured she was just trying not to hurt my feelings, since she’s gorgeous and I’m like just lltn. We hung out on July 26th; we hugged a lot and talked like a couple, so I thought the moment was right and decided to kiss her (I’d had a couple of girlfriends before, whereas she hadn't, so I actually knew what I was doing). After the kiss, she got really shy and said she hadn't expected it; I ended up apologizing, and we both went home. For a long time after that day, I blamed myself, and we actually stopped talking because of the guilt I felt.

We started talking again in early September since we’re in the same class, and things gradually started moving beyond just casual conversation. For instance, we hug constantly now — when we meet up, say goodbye, or just after class. Maybe she really does like me, but I just can't bring myself to believe it. And there’s a major issue... During the time we weren't speaking — between the kissing incident and the start of September — she hung out twice with an old male friend (a former classmate of hers), even though she’d previously claimed she didn't talk to guys AT ALL (and it really did seem that way; she found it hard to socialize). I have a really weird feeling about this guy for a couple of reasons:​

1) Two years ago, when she and our class went to summer camp, he called her (they hadn't been in the same class for a year by then), and DUDE she actually burst into TEARS when she heard his voice and ran to me to calm down. She missed him that much after just a year apart; now imagine what it was like after they hadn't seen each other for THREE YEARS.
2) She has an old TikTok account that not even all her acquaintances knew about, and this guy was on her friends list there almost from the very beginning. They’re friends again on her new account, even though, or so she claims, she hadn't seen him for three years prior to hanging out with him this summer.

I don't want her lying to me; she means a lot to me, but I’ve got a feeling she’s secretly messaging him and has something going on, something really suspicious. I’ve even created accounts to track her TikTok activity and checked which Telegram groups she’s in, but there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary there...

Tell me what you think about all this crap and what you’d advise me to do??????
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