Hopped On First Cycle And Now I Yearn For Someone

[p5xtn]

If any of you guys have experienced this, please provide an anecdote.

Ever since I hopped on test (first cycle) a few weeks ago, I have recently been finding myself yearning for someone and wanting love. Previous to hopping on I was super low test and E2 and had no interest in women, sex, or anything of that nature.

A little after I hopped on, last week I hungout out with my ex (who I cheated on and ghosted multiple times back when I genuinely had no care for relationships or women etc..) I quickly found myself getting attached very easily to her and falling for her. Just yesterday she blocked me on everything and did the same thing back to me, which I will not lie did hurt.
For a long time I have been a very apathetic person and never really cared about others and really felt anything, but that is quickly changing; I’m not sure if it has to do with my E2 potentially increasing or if it’s the test?

I’m not necessarily sure why I’m feeling this way – the crippling feeling of wanting to have genuine love for someone and to be loved back. I don’t want to feel this way because it genuinely is hell. I hate being vulnerable and yearning for love and connection, especially because I feel I’m not worthy of it or that I cannot achieve it.

I’m not necessarily sure what to do, so if any of you have gone thru the same I’d appreciate the stories/help.

 

[chopped_gymcel]

holy shit, I’ve been through the same thing so much. I am on TREN, and Accutane, which both drive obsession/depression. And whenever I get a dream with a girl in it, it doesn’t matter if I hardly know her or if she knows I exist I become overly obsessive like checking her profile every hour type obsessive. It is a real problem, but it goes away after a while. There isn’t really an antidote. I actually really enjoy it cause you just get to create weird scenarios in your head. Jfl

 

[chopped_gymcel]

Oh and this isn’t just driven by dreams or whatever I get what you mean
You want a girlfriend so badly, I do too lol nothing you can do though TBH

 

[p5xtn]

Oh and this isn’t just driven by dreams or whatever I get what you mean
You want a girlfriend so badly, I do too lol nothing you can do though TBH

Yeah just accept that it’s over
Idk what is causing this though, probably just cus my e2 raising

 

[chopped_gymcel]

Yeah just accept that it’s over
Idk what is causing this though, probably just cus my e2 raising

I’m almost certain it’s just an increase in libido

 

[p5xtn]

I’m almost certain it’s just an increase in libido

Thing is that it isnt even sex that I want

i just want to be loved bro