How are normies so confident without trying?

[lilhorizontal32]

It seems like normies at my workplace can just meet someone, say hi and become friends and have a conversation with them without any problem

Whereas I am doing the following just to keep my nervousness down to be... semi-confident:

• Meditation
• Supplementmaxxing
• Positive affirmations (although not very consistently)
• Gymcelling (sometimes cardio as well)
• Journalling (although not very consistently)

And I still get confidencemogged by 99% of the population.

What am I missing? What are normies doing that I'm not that lets them have so much confidence?

And do normies even actively try and improve their confidence?

inb4 but they are also anxious broo!! the difference is that with them, you cannot tell, whereas with me, its obvious

 

[onnysk]

just hang out with normal ppl and ghost all the aspies

no point hearing someone’s basement theories with little real life foundation

 

[Deleted member 15977]

Good neurotransmitters and healthy upbringing

 

[2d v2]

they arent they are insecure, they just know how to get you on edge by running through their same shit talk cycle. When I realized this(alreay after highschool) i started decimating people who tried this shit.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

a

Good neurotransmitters and healthy upbringing

anything I can do to fix this?

just hang out with normal ppl and ghost all the aspies

no point hearing someone’s basement theories with little real life foundation

I don't have that many friends jfl

if I could just "hang out with normal ppl" I wouldn't have made this post

 

[Deleted member 15067]

I get what you mean bro I’m not autistic or shy but I feel like I’m missing something to actually fit in

 

[lilhorizontal32]

I get what you mean bro I’m not autistic or shy but I feel like I’m missing something to actually fit in

yeah its hard to describe.

I socialiq mog most people. like when someone says or does something I am pretty much always correct about what their intentions are (which are confirmed by what they say/do later on) but I severely lack confidence.

just the other day I tried to befriend an aspie (would blurt out random non-NT things) and even he was being cold and distant when I tried to get to know him. when I saw him when I was going to get coffee I gave him a head nod and he just ignored it and walked by me jfl

 

[Deleted member 15067]

yeah its hard to describe.

I socialiq mog most people. like when someone says or does something I am pretty much always correct about what their intentions are (which are confirmed by what they say/do later on) but I severely lack confidence.

just the other day I tried to befriend an aspie (would blurt out random non-NT things) and even he was being cold and distant when I tried to get to know him. when I saw him when I was going to get coffee I gave him a head nod and he just ignored it and walked by me jfl

Yeah man wtf idk what it is. It isn’t looks because I’m not literally ugly and people who look 10x worse fit in normally but everyone feels like they r distant to me

 

[Deleted member 18789]

Because the definition of normie si someone with a normal brain

Because normies don't have autism.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

Because the definition of normie si someone with a normal brain

Because normies don't have autism.

I don't have autism though

 

[lilhorizontal32]

Yeah man wtf idk what it is. It isn’t looks because I’m not literally ugly and people who look 10x worse fit in normally but everyone feels like they r distant to me

how do you go with alcohol?

AlcoholPill - I am treated FAR better when I am drunk

Or at least have had a few drinks I can speak well, I am not nervous, I don't have any weird/awkward pauses or display odd body language. This has resulted in me being treated quite well and being pretty good at making friends with normies (although they are also drunk, and this happens in...

looksmax.org

surprised I haven't become an addict jfl

 

[Deleted member 18789]

I don't have autism though

Okay? Then be normal lol

 

[lilhorizontal32]

Okay? Then be normal lol

I am trying to figure out what's making me different in the first place

 

[Deleted member 18789]

I am trying to figure out what's making me different in the first place

You need to go to a psychiatrist, best case scenario she diagnoses you with some anxiety, worst case scenario you have autism

 

[Deleted member 15067]

how do you go with alcohol?

AlcoholPill - I am treated FAR better when I am drunk

Or at least have had a few drinks I can speak well, I am not nervous, I don't have any weird/awkward pauses or display odd body language. This has resulted in me being treated quite well and being pretty good at making friends with normies (although they are also drunk, and this happens in...

looksmax.org

surprised I haven't become an addict jfl

Never drank before jfl

 

[gogger]

they arent they are insecure, they just know how to get you on edge by running through their same shit talk cycle. When I realized this(alreay after highschool) i started decimating people who tried this shit.

this, it's used car salesman shit

 

[disillusioned]

What am I missing?

You look and smell like shit.

 

[Richard_Hungwell]

yeah its hard to describe.

I socialiq mog most people. like when someone says or does something I am pretty much always correct about what their intentions are (which are confirmed by what they say/do later on) but I severely lack confidence.

just the other day I tried to befriend an aspie (would blurt out random non-NT things) and even he was being cold and distant when I tried to get to know him. when I saw him when I was going to get coffee I gave him a head nod and he just ignored it and walked by me jfl

Trying to befriend those you deem lower on the social totem pole can backfire as they can ironically be harder to befriend based upon their built up defense mechanisms.

 

[karbo]

it's called ignorance. they do not perceive reality objectively, they do not give their selves value by rational thinking (objectively measurable success, talent, good looks, basically genetic traits in short), but by emotional response.

lack of event (and intelligence, that gives the ability to process such an event) that leads to the realization of them not being enough = the belief that simply existing gives them value

 

[vox2992]

Normies seem more confident because they're largely ignorant of certain truths. This is since they haven't received sufficient acute feedback in either direction, positive or negative, to incentivise them to deviate.

 

[SntDomistheRealChad]

It seems like normies at my workplace can just meet someone, say hi and become friends and have a conversation with them without any problem

Whereas I am doing the following just to keep my nervousness down to be... semi-confident:

• Meditation
• Supplementmaxxing
• Positive affirmations (although not very consistently)
• Gymcelling (sometimes cardio as well)
• Journalling (although not very consistently)

And I still get confidencemogged by 99% of the population.

What am I missing? What are normies doing that I'm not that lets them have so much confidence?

And do normies even actively try and improve their confidence?

inb4 but they are also anxious broo!! the difference is that with them, you cannot tell, whereas with me, its obvious

Old post but good question.

I have the same question, I used to think confidence came down to physiology in a lot of ways but it doesn’t seem to in normies. You can be a fat lard low iq normie who has never worked out or experience endorphins and still mog me socially.

It of course is 90% upbringing. That sets almost everything in terms of the deeper layers of your mental programming. Did you get any help with this?

 

[vermillioncorefan]

sounds like autism bro i denied having it for years
recently i came to accept it and it crushed me

 

[longjohnmong]

When I used to have a girlfriend I was way more confident when she was around because it was like other people were coming into my world, my "thing" I had going with my ex, like a world of sarcastic banter. I feel like normies have that with everyone, or they feel like they belong, like the country or world is just one big family. Whereas if you're an outsider, you probably interpret everyone else as an enemy, a member of an enemy tribe.

 

[SntDomistheRealChad]

It seems like normies at my workplace can just meet someone, say hi and become friends and have a conversation with them without any problem

Whereas I am doing the following just to keep my nervousness down to be... semi-confident:

• Meditation
• Supplementmaxxing
• Positive affirmations (although not very consistently)
• Gymcelling (sometimes cardio as well)
• Journalling (although not very consistently)

And I still get confidencemogged by 99% of the population.

What am I missing? What are normies doing that I'm not that lets them have so much confidence?

And do normies even actively try and improve their confidence?

inb4 but they are also anxious broo!! the difference is that with them, you cannot tell, whereas with me, its obvious

The good thing is, when you do these things the difference in your personality is heightened way further than a normie. For normies meditation is “omg I’m aware now that I call Ryan a wiener everyday and that’s why he hates me, thanks meditation for making me more aware” or “now I can focus on work where before I was distracted” for people with low self esteem it’s personality changing.

 

[Latens Deitas]

It seems like normies at my workplace can just meet someone, say hi and become friends and have a conversation with them without any problem

Whereas I am doing the following just to keep my nervousness down to be... semi-confident:

• Meditation
• Supplementmaxxing
• Positive affirmations (although not very consistently)
• Gymcelling (sometimes cardio as well)
• Journalling (although not very consistently)

And I still get confidencemogged by 99% of the population.

What am I missing? What are normies doing that I'm not that lets them have so much confidence?

And do normies even actively try and improve their confidence?

inb4 but they are also anxious broo!! the difference is that with them, you cannot tell, whereas with me, its obvious

positive reinforcement + healthy brain chemistry

 

[SntDomistheRealChad]

It seems like normies at my workplace can just meet someone, say hi and become friends and have a conversation with them without any problem

Whereas I am doing the following just to keep my nervousness down to be... semi-confident:

• Meditation
• Supplementmaxxing
• Positive affirmations (although not very consistently)
• Gymcelling (sometimes cardio as well)
• Journalling (although not very consistently)

And I still get confidencemogged by 99% of the population.

What am I missing? What are normies doing that I'm not that lets them have so much confidence?

And do normies even actively try and improve their confidence?

inb4 but they are also anxious broo!! the difference is that with them, you cannot tell, whereas with me, its obvious

Also imo meditation was the only thing that worked for me as a “for sure” saviour. As a whole I would say cognitive behavioural self therapy did more because I understand reality better now but meditation can get you out of a “rut” better. It’s just about realizing that your thoughts aren’t everything and that they are false. This “learning” is more cognitive behavioural therapy based but even now that I know my rights and that I was led astray in my beliefs, I still need meditation again to get my actually physiological body in line with my beliefs.

Affirmations are hit and miss for me, I used to get mega powered from them above anything from meditation but it seems to be short lived. Meditation is more reliable as just focusing on your breath is making physiological changes that make it impossible to be low confidence.

The major key I think here is that eventually you will drop all of these things as you will develop friends, make more money, realize that you always have mediation as your friend if things get bad, and this is where most people started out (The normies). Until you get to the “drop” point you will likely face disrespect, low wage, etc so you are forced to find a cope for now.

 

[longjohnmong]

Also imo meditation was the only thing that worked for me as a “for sure” saviour.

What sort of meditation? How long do you do it?

I have been meditating daily for years and haven't really gotten that many benefits. In fact, I think it's made me less social as I'm more "okay" with my anti-social situation.

 

[SntDomistheRealChad]

What sort of meditation? How long do you do it?

I used to do it 5 mins to 15 mins, any longer is cope imo.

I have been meditating daily for years and haven't really gotten that many benefits. In fact, I think it's made me less social as I'm more "okay" with my anti-social situation.

How do you do your meditation? That might be causing the issue.

 

[longjohnmong]

I used to do it 5 mins to 15 mins, any longer is cope imo.

How do you do your meditation? That might be causing the issue.

I just do the basic focus on the breath mindfulness meditation. Sometimes I will focus on ambient sounds as a change of pace.

 

[SntDomistheRealChad]

I just do the basic focus on the breath mindfulness meditation. Sometimes I will focus on ambient sounds as a change of pace.

You’re sure it’s not helping? I’m pretty sure it must be more than you think or you would’ve given up already.