
Eärendil
Appeal>PSL
- Joined
- May 20, 2025
- Posts
- 1,153
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I’m a male “feminist”, or I identified as such until I started reading a particular book on misandry, which said this:
I don’t want to call myself a ‘feminist’ anymore, because it feels like I’m taking the stage, and even though I’m aroace, it gives off “nice guy” vibes. Like “I’m not like those other icky men, I’m a feminist! I support your rights!” and it just leaves a bad taste.
Even writing this post feels very “nice guy”-esque. It’s like me saying “I’m not like one of those guys who claim to be a feminist to be liked by women, and then drop the ‘f*ck the patriarchy’ keychain on the ground and abuse someone, I’m a real feminist guy, way better than them!” and it feels even more nice-guy than before. This post is really just the bare minimum anyway.
I want to understand the mechanisms of oppression and my own place in the system, and deconstruct masculinity, and deconstruct the patriarchy, but how do I do that without “appropriating it in order to take centre stage and make it all about [myself] yet again”?
I might be coming off as extremely socially anxious, but I feel like this post is kind of manipulative as well, because it feels like I’m secretly empathy fishing and giving off the “hey guys I’m anxious and confused, feel bad for me” vibe. Please feel free call me out if I’m doing that, I just had no other way to stage this post.
@hopecel
There’s a whole world of difference between ‘understanding the mechanisms of oppression and one’s own place in the system’, and ‘appropriating it in order to take centre stage and make it all about yourself yet again’. What we want is for men to put their power and privilege to good use: by policing their male friends and acquaintances, for example, instead of explaining to women how to go about fighting their battles. We want men to know their place. Actually no, what we really want is for them to learn how to take up less space.
- I Hate Men by Pauline Harmange.
I don’t want to call myself a ‘feminist’ anymore, because it feels like I’m taking the stage, and even though I’m aroace, it gives off “nice guy” vibes. Like “I’m not like those other icky men, I’m a feminist! I support your rights!” and it just leaves a bad taste.
Even writing this post feels very “nice guy”-esque. It’s like me saying “I’m not like one of those guys who claim to be a feminist to be liked by women, and then drop the ‘f*ck the patriarchy’ keychain on the ground and abuse someone, I’m a real feminist guy, way better than them!” and it feels even more nice-guy than before. This post is really just the bare minimum anyway.
I want to understand the mechanisms of oppression and my own place in the system, and deconstruct masculinity, and deconstruct the patriarchy, but how do I do that without “appropriating it in order to take centre stage and make it all about [myself] yet again”?
I might be coming off as extremely socially anxious, but I feel like this post is kind of manipulative as well, because it feels like I’m secretly empathy fishing and giving off the “hey guys I’m anxious and confused, feel bad for me” vibe. Please feel free call me out if I’m doing that, I just had no other way to stage this post.
@hopecel