Mrinfinityx
Kraken
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2020
- Posts
- 4,249
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I experience the exact same phenomena as this guy but even more paranoid
" [20/f] Long post ahead which will probably make me sound like a total Debbie Downer (just a warning), so hopefully this is okay to ask here. I'm just really desperate for any advice.
Basically, I'm letting myself waste my whole life all because I'm extremely unattractive. It sounds so dumb, but I really can't get past the fact that I'm likely the ugliest person out there right now. I haven't left my house in a year solely because of this, I can't even go out in my backyard just for the fear that someone might see my face. I can barely look the mirror anymore, and when I do, I just break down at how deformed and weird looking my face is. I really don't look like a normal human, no exaggeration. This also is not all in my mind either, as people have been so kind to let me know how ugly I am either straight to my face or behind my back. When I go out, people stare (literally will turn around staring at me) or laugh, especially other women; which just makes me never want to leave my house again even more.
This has controlled my life for awhile now; back when I was 15, a guy at my school asked me out, only for me to meet him at this mall where it turned out he was there with his friends + they all laughed at me for thinking he was actually serious then proceeded to tell me how gross looking I was. That totally crushed me, and I refused to go back to school. I got a rhinoplasty when I was 16 (hoping it'd make things better), and surprisingly, I had a few good years of people being nice to me + even strangers saying I was pretty. That all changed when I was 19, and I realized I was suddenly just getting extremely ugly again out of nowhere. I didn't gain/lose weight (I'm thin + in good shape so that isn't a factor either, it's purely just my facial features), didn't change my style/hair, or anything like that so I don't know what happened. Long story short, I'm now 20 and still horribly ugly. Deep hollows under my eyes, droopy nose despite the surgery, weird eye shape, weird lip shape, just nothing normal looking about my face. I could get multiple plastic surgeries, but at this point, I don't think any surgery could make me normal looking.
I'm coming to terms that I'll be alone forever, which is hard to accept, but it's reality. I'm just tired of crying/being sad all the time and not being able to leave my house at all, or get my GED + go back to school, or even do anything to make my mom proud. I feel bad that I'm her only child and I can't do anything but be a loser because of this. She's always been pretty + popular, so she doesn't understand any of this which is even worse because I feel so alone. I can't get myself go to therapy to find ways to cope either, because I just really can't get myself to leave the house. I just wish I looked normal, it'd change my life, but that's likely not possible so. Idk I'm sorry for rambling, but does anyone have any advice on how I can just accept being the ugliest person ever (really not exaggerating)? Also, how to deal with people staring/laughing if I do ever get the courage to go out? I'd appreciate anything, and if anyone read this whole thing, thank you. "
It a fucking nightmare, i cant even evolve in life because of this because i must face people in real life and i decompose myself watching me in every window, i am too much aware of my failos
" [20/f] Long post ahead which will probably make me sound like a total Debbie Downer (just a warning), so hopefully this is okay to ask here. I'm just really desperate for any advice.
Basically, I'm letting myself waste my whole life all because I'm extremely unattractive. It sounds so dumb, but I really can't get past the fact that I'm likely the ugliest person out there right now. I haven't left my house in a year solely because of this, I can't even go out in my backyard just for the fear that someone might see my face. I can barely look the mirror anymore, and when I do, I just break down at how deformed and weird looking my face is. I really don't look like a normal human, no exaggeration. This also is not all in my mind either, as people have been so kind to let me know how ugly I am either straight to my face or behind my back. When I go out, people stare (literally will turn around staring at me) or laugh, especially other women; which just makes me never want to leave my house again even more.
This has controlled my life for awhile now; back when I was 15, a guy at my school asked me out, only for me to meet him at this mall where it turned out he was there with his friends + they all laughed at me for thinking he was actually serious then proceeded to tell me how gross looking I was. That totally crushed me, and I refused to go back to school. I got a rhinoplasty when I was 16 (hoping it'd make things better), and surprisingly, I had a few good years of people being nice to me + even strangers saying I was pretty. That all changed when I was 19, and I realized I was suddenly just getting extremely ugly again out of nowhere. I didn't gain/lose weight (I'm thin + in good shape so that isn't a factor either, it's purely just my facial features), didn't change my style/hair, or anything like that so I don't know what happened. Long story short, I'm now 20 and still horribly ugly. Deep hollows under my eyes, droopy nose despite the surgery, weird eye shape, weird lip shape, just nothing normal looking about my face. I could get multiple plastic surgeries, but at this point, I don't think any surgery could make me normal looking.
I'm coming to terms that I'll be alone forever, which is hard to accept, but it's reality. I'm just tired of crying/being sad all the time and not being able to leave my house at all, or get my GED + go back to school, or even do anything to make my mom proud. I feel bad that I'm her only child and I can't do anything but be a loser because of this. She's always been pretty + popular, so she doesn't understand any of this which is even worse because I feel so alone. I can't get myself go to therapy to find ways to cope either, because I just really can't get myself to leave the house. I just wish I looked normal, it'd change my life, but that's likely not possible so. Idk I'm sorry for rambling, but does anyone have any advice on how I can just accept being the ugliest person ever (really not exaggerating)? Also, how to deal with people staring/laughing if I do ever get the courage to go out? I'd appreciate anything, and if anyone read this whole thing, thank you. "
It a fucking nightmare, i cant even evolve in life because of this because i must face people in real life and i decompose myself watching me in every window, i am too much aware of my failos