iblamemyself!
Jesus is the only way
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2024
- Posts
- 378
- Reputation
- 537
i was a fatcel kid growing up. no one talked to me. i’d sit alone at lunch, just eating and pretending i didn’t care. truth is i did. i wanted to be included so bad it hurt. but when you're fat and ugly as a kid you’re not even a person. you’re background noise. you're the punchline. i didn’t have a single friend until i was 12. and even then it was barely real. we talked about games and dumb shit, never anything real. i never learned how to connect.
so now i’m older and i look better but i’m socially stunted. I do have friends now, whole school knows me but i don't talk with anyone. everyone else had years of practice inside jokes, parties, friend groups, confidence. they know how to slide into convos, keep it flowing, flirt, joke, vibe. i’m stuck trying to figure out what to say after “hi.” i overthink every word. every pause feels like i’m being exposed. like they can tell i’m broken inside. i never learned how to be a person around people.
idk how to talk. not really. not like them. so i sit quiet. i nod. i laugh at the right moments. but i’m not in it. i’m performing.
how do i fix this? is it too late? can you actually learn social skills as a teenager? or is it something you had to grow up with?
i feel permanently behind.
teach me how to talk to people.
so now i’m older and i look better but i’m socially stunted. I do have friends now, whole school knows me but i don't talk with anyone. everyone else had years of practice inside jokes, parties, friend groups, confidence. they know how to slide into convos, keep it flowing, flirt, joke, vibe. i’m stuck trying to figure out what to say after “hi.” i overthink every word. every pause feels like i’m being exposed. like they can tell i’m broken inside. i never learned how to be a person around people.
idk how to talk. not really. not like them. so i sit quiet. i nod. i laugh at the right moments. but i’m not in it. i’m performing.
how do i fix this? is it too late? can you actually learn social skills as a teenager? or is it something you had to grow up with?
i feel permanently behind.
teach me how to talk to people.
