how do I stop being so overly emotional

[Deleted member 16346]

I have such a bad temper irl, it's my biggest social failo tbh. I get so so easily annoyed by small things in my enviroment like road interactions or other minor inconveniences to the point where I have to stop doing what I'm doing for a bit to reset. This has lead to me becoming an extremely petty person who always goes out of their way to get back at people for perceived wrongs (which has in turn lead to me being seen as immature by most of the people in my life).

I'm the second oldest and easily the most socially successful in my massive pack of cousins (the oldest is more introverted, less outgoing and not as present in our family circle) but it's the third oldest who is seen as the effective leader of my cousins whenever we have to band together for an event/activity despite everyone considering me more fun to be around most of the time. I've asked why and it's apparently cuz people don't take me as seriously due to how overly emotional I am.

I'm legit getting overly emotional rn thinking about this

 

[Deleted member 9801]

Inject T

 

[Deleted member 15827]

dnrd its the voice

 

[currylightskin]

Dravidian mogger

 

[Deleted member 16346]

dnrd its the voice

tbh that probably makes me seem less serious yh

 

[Deleted member 16275]

I feel like i have shit temper too but no one really gets that mad at me for some reason, maybe its my reputation of being a goofy funny dude

 

[Deleted member 16346]

I feel like i have shit temper too but no one really gets that mad at me for some reason, maybe its my reputation of being a goofy funny dude

no one in my main social circle really gets mad at me but I dont really get mad at people im close to either, I get kinda annoyed but I only rly get mad at strangers

 

[Deleted member 3946]

Uber long topic cause topics like this are hard to approach if youre not a professional, and even then it's lengthy and complicated probably.

First of all , fuck knows if we dont see you act irl, my mother has been the same throughout her life (getting tilted by small shit and inconveniences because she's an overachiever in stuff she does) and realized and changed in her late 40s to early 50s (and still not completely). You might just be competitive. Meanwhile while Im uber competitive, Im complete mental nirvana. You should only get tilted at shit you could change yourself, I cant control others behavior and random shit they do, you have to keep the balance where you dont underestimate people (cause that will bite you back) but also be ready to accept that ppl are giga autistic. Eventually you become uber laid back, when you realize that you should only care about stuff that you can affect the outcome yourself. That doesnt mean you arent assertive about behaviors that bother you, but there's always a line to that. It takes practice , it's not quantifiable. There's no line where I can tell you "get tilted from this, don't get tilted from that" it really depends on what people's limits around you are. What I think is best about myself is that with people I know even a little , I understand exactly the limits I can go with stuff like this. Each person reacts differently to criticism, to jokes, to anything really, but this is a skill you obtain probably by noticing patterns on people's reactions to your own behavior.

At the same time you need to ask yourself, track back to times you have noticed that you were emotional, how much did it cloud your judgment? Does it tend to cloud your judgment more than it does (both quantity and quality wise)? What exactly did the fact that you got mad at smth accomplish? Could you have had a more healthy way to approach it (not always necessarily, ofc it's good to be angry and not suppress it in many cases)? Are people gaslighting you (fuck knows for what reason) cause you're in a shitty ass family environment, which is of course a possibility? What are they (people in general) expecting of you and what are you presenting? How logical are those expectations (What would be the benefits and cons of becoming more like others expect you than what you are now) and how objectively achievable are those?

 

[Deleted member 18244]

Thats what i wanna know

 

[Deleted member 16346]

Uber long topic cause topics like this are hard to approach if youre not a professional, and even then it's lengthy and complicated probably.

First of all , fuck knows if we dont see you act irl, my mother has been the same throughout her life (getting tilted by small shit and inconveniences because she's an overachiever in stuff she does) and realized and changed in her late 40s to early 50s (and still not completely). You might just be competitive. Meanwhile while Im uber competitive, Im complete mental nirvana.

It's not an overachieving thing tbh, I'm definitely objectively unreasonable and get annoyed at stuff I have no right to be annoyed at like strangers complaining my dog is on their beach house porch. It's all rooted in entitlement and immaturity imo.

At the same time you need to ask yourself, track back to times you have noticed that you were emotional, how much did it cloud your judgment? Does it tend to cloud your judgment more than it does (both quantity and quality wise)? What exactly did the fact that you got mad at smth accomplish? Could you have had a more healthy way to approach it (not always necessarily, ofc it's good to be angry and not suppress it in many cases)? Are people gaslighting you (fuck knows for what reason) cause you're in a shitty ass family environment, which is of course a possibility? What are they (people in general) expecting of you and what are you presenting? How logical are those expectations (What would be the benefits and cons of becoming more like others expect you than what you are now) and how objectively achievable are those?

 

[Deleted member 15827]

no one in my main social circle really gets mad at me but I dont really get mad at people im close to either, I get kinda annoyed but I only rly get mad at strangers

you have a very high in group out group mentality very right wing and K strategy trait. For me its the reverse I am somewhat sociopathic so I only care about even close people in the abstract most of the time, I find myself acquiescing to strangers more often than parents (For eg i just smoked a whole cigar in one of my parents room lol)

 

[Deleted member 1901]

What is causing you to have a bad temper? (what are you mad about) Fix that. If you can't then either get better self-control or get extremely depressed so you don't care.

 

[Deleted member 16346]

you have a very high in group out group mentality very right wing and K strategy trait. For me its the reverse I am somewhat sociopathic so I only care about even close people in the abstract most of the time, I find myself acquiescing to strangers more often than parents (For eg i just smoked a whole cigar in one of my parents room lol)

I'm still a bit of an asshole around my friends and family but if they complain about it I'll either just laugh it off and not get angry or stop and be whiney about it for a while. I just lowkey fucking hate strangers tbh. I'm staying at a beach house w my cousins rn and my older cousin was bidening me really hard earlier for getting into an argument with this one guy in the house next to us because he kept shouting at us to stop letting our dog run around in front of his porch and I responded by asking why he cares cuz he's fat and probably gonna die of a heart attack.

 

[Deleted member 3946]

It's not an overachieving thing tbh, I'm definitely objectively unreasonable and get annoyed at stuff I have no right to be annoyed at like strangers complaining my dog is on their beach house porch. It's all rooted in entitlement and immaturity imo.

It doesnt have to be overachieving thing obviously. I can't say for sure where it's rooted, I just offered a possibility. In that specific stance, yea, I guess getting angry is kinda unreasonable, I'd just get the dog if it's their actual property and that's it. Apathy is golden in a lot of shit. It's better than taking a stance considering the value to be gained in pissing people off for such a trivial thing is almost 0, and pissing yourself off is even worse as it affects your future judgment because your brain thinks that shit worked and it's gonna do it again.

As I said really, it takes practice, it took me ~5yrs to actively work on this and achieve an imo decent level, and it's easy to slip and be too nice at the start. You have to keep thinking about it, in your free time, when a similar situation arises etc. It's not gonna be one dimensional duct tape fix by tomorrow. I'm not gonna go deeper than this cause it gets too complicated/situation dependent to put into words and not start saying random shit that doesnt make entire sense, or makes in specific cases, while assuming a lot of variables.

 

[Deleted member 15827]

I'm still a bit of an asshole around my friends and family but if they complain about it I'll either just laugh it off and not get angry or stop and be whiney about it for a while. I just lowkey fucking hate strangers tbh. I'm staying at a beach house w my cousins rn and my older cousin was bidening me really hard earlier for getting into an argument with this one guy in the house next to us because he kept shouting at us to stop letting our dog run around in front of his porch and I responded by asking why he cares cuz he's fat and probably gonna die of a heart attack.

your mannerisms really remind me of this guy
obviously a profile isnt gonna reveal anything but this guy gave me the same vibe as you (albeit ive met him irl and only know u through forum)

Jayasoorya Suriyanarayanan (@jayasoorya.s) • Instagram photos and videos

383 Followers, 46 Following, 23 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Jayasoorya Suriyanarayanan (@jayasoorya.s)

www.instagram.com

 

[Deleted member 16346]

your mannerisms really remind me of this guy
obviously a profile isnt gonna reveal anything but this guy gave me the same vibe as you (albeit ive met him irl and only know u through forum)

Jayasoorya Suriyanarayanan (@jayasoorya.s) • Instagram photos and videos

383 Followers, 46 Following, 23 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Jayasoorya Suriyanarayanan (@jayasoorya.s)

www.instagram.com

wym mannerisms tell me about this guy tho

Im such a narcy about this stuff btw if someone compares me to someone else they know i obsessively ask for stories about them

my best friend thinks im a huge freak cuz im obsessed with his slayer brother who he said was a little bit like me

 

[MikeMew'sBitch]

Thats one of the main characteristics of high neuroticism trait. Its one of the big five personality traits and its mostly genetic.

Individuals with high scores for neuroticism are more likely than average to be moody and to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness. Such people are thought to respond worse to stressors and are more likely to interpret ordinary situations, such as minor frustrations, as appearing hopelessly difficult.

 

[Deleted member 16346]

Thats one of the main characteristics of high neuroticism trait. Its one of the big five personality traits and its mostly genetic.

Individuals with high scores for neuroticism are more likely than average to be moody and to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness. Such people are thought to respond worse to stressors and are more likely to interpret ordinary situations, such as minor frustrations, as appearing hopelessly difficult.

my score on the ocean test