How do I wipe my ass? (need help, 6ft8.5 245lbs 9% bf Chadlite)

[irrumator praetor]

Hi so I'm a 20 year old 6ft8.5 245lbs 9% bf Ivy League Chadlite, quarterback and chief executive officer at Chase Bank and JP Morgan, majority stakeholderand I need this forums help to wipe my ass. My Lord Baron Father has always used a robot ass wiper which wipes your ass and automatically bidets your anus upon taking a poopie. Recently however the robot stopped working and my Father had our local manor mechanic/hired helps entire family murdered and erased from existence over this matter.

I will urgently need help wiping my ass because I'm too shy to ask my busty Victoria secret model housemaids (averaging A10, GG cup size breasts, 6ft2-3 stacylite-eves) since they already jerk me off every day at 4pm. The robot gets repaired next week (I know, a big shame on the family name. But we need a specific repairman because this is a top secret patent and cannot be released to the public because it has perfectly optimized wiping and bidet dynamics).

 

[mid234]

@Xinyue will lick it clean off for u

 

[irrumator praetor]

@Xinyue will lick it clean off for u

my Father should've thought about a manor bidet human slave.

 

[irrumator praetor]

Related: https://looksmax.org/threads/how-do-i-break-up-with-my-gf-ded-srs-need-help.2219027/

 

[banku don]

another day another larper

 

[horseman.]

 

[Part-Time Chad]

Hi so I'm a 20 year old 6ft8.5 245lbs 9% bf Ivy League Chadlite, quarterback and chief executive officer at Chase Bank and JP Morgan, majority stakeholderand I need this forums help to wipe my ass. My Lord Baron Father has always used a robot ass wiper which wipes your ass and automatically bidets your anus upon taking a poopie. Recently however the robot stopped working and my Father had our local manor mechanic/hired helps entire family murdered and erased from existence over this matter.

I will urgently need help wiping my ass because I'm too shy to ask my busty Victoria secret model housemaids (averaging A10, GG cup size breasts, 6ft2-3 stacylite-eves) since they already jerk me off every day at 4pm. The robot gets repaired next week (I know, a big shame on the family name. But we need a specific repairman because this is a top secret patent and cannot be released to the public because it has perfectly optimized wiping and bidet dynamics).

Ask Borat. He'll tell you that the host will "clean de anus of the other" whenever you're a guest in someone's house.

 

[karmacitathugmaxx]

another day another larper

How you been here for a year and never read a celestialempire thread

 

[banku don]

How you been here for a year and never read a celestialempire thread

wtf is celestialempire?

 

[irrumator praetor]

View attachment 5342133

couldn't be me rn because I'm writing this as I'm taking a shit on my gold plated toilet

 

[horseman.]

couldn't be me rn because I'm writing this as I'm taking a shit on my gold plated toilet

 

[irrumator praetor]

wtf is celestialempire?

my older shorter more poorer cousin who only gets about 1000 tinder slays annually, averaging mhtb-hhtbs with mere single G cup breast sizes and merely 6ft-6ft1 avg and A10s

 

[Absurdist]

Hi so I'm a 20 year old 6ft8.5 245lbs 9% bf Ivy League Chadlite, quarterback and chief executive officer at Chase Bank and JP Morgan, majority stakeholderand I need this forums help to wipe my ass. My Lord Baron Father has always used a robot ass wiper which wipes your ass and automatically bidets your anus upon taking a poopie. Recently however the robot stopped working and my Father had our local manor mechanic/hired helps entire family murdered and erased from existence over this matter.

I will urgently need help wiping my ass because I'm too shy to ask my busty Victoria secret model housemaids (averaging A10, GG cup size breasts, 6ft2-3 stacylite-eves) since they already jerk me off every day at 4pm. The robot gets repaired next week (I know, a big shame on the family name. But we need a specific repairman because this is a top secret patent and cannot be released to the public because it has perfectly optimized wiping and bidet dynamics).

To wipe properly, stay seated and reach between your legs or behind your back. Take 3–4 squares of toilet paper, press gently, and always wipe front to back. Repeat with fresh paper until it comes away clean, and never scrub to avoid irritation.

 

[irrumator praetor]

View attachment 5342146

impossible because this guy has to be mexican and not indian

 

[irrumator praetor]

To wipe properly, stay seated and reach between your legs or behind your back. Take 3–4 squares of toilet paper, press gently, and always wipe front to back. Repeat with fresh paper until it comes away clean, and never scrub to avoid irritation.

thanks, my lord father will assure your family gets a payment in the value of approximately $500k

I simply had to ask this forum as a grown up man who also has access to ChatGPT

 

[Absurdist]

thanks, my lord father will assure your family gets a payment in the value of approximately $500k

I simply had to ask this forum as a grown up man who also has access to ChatGPT

Thank you sir.