D
Deleted member 168440
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2025
- Posts
- 20
- Reputation
- 29
Since I was about 11 I’ve hated my looks lol, in 6th grade I remember I was rejected 6 times in a row by different women. I’ve also been bullied for being ugly my whole life and at one point in 7th grade I had no social life at all, I knew I looked horrible and i constantly stressed over it and as a way from running away from the truth and evading the real problem I started trying to change my personality 
. Sometimes you find a way to fix a different problem while evading the real problem, that’s what happened with me. Within my coping mechanism of trying to change my personality I made a lot of friends who are still my friends to this day. But the leering problem in the back of my mind was still there, the fact I pulled no women and was still being bullied for my looks. At that point the thought of getting women was irrelevant to me because I realized it didn’t really matter to me, when you’re that young trying to date is completely useless and I ended up realizing that. But I wanted to stop being bullied for my looks still, at one point I finally started to address the crippling feelings of insecurity that I had about my looks and decided to try and fix them, this was around last year. So I started looking up ways to get better skin, a leaner face, etc, and I actually started to look better eventually. But the thoughts of insecurity were still there and I completely stopped approaching women at all (even to befriend them). I also was on the internet at the age of 9-10 and discovered porn at the age of 10, ever since I started looking at it at that age I viewed women a different way than a normal dude at my school would. This severely damaged the way I talked to women because I didn’t view them as just normal people anymore. I couldn’t make eye contact, talk for more than 3 minutes with them or even walk next to one. So despite the fact that I looked better I still wasn’t able to talk to women at the time. But instead of blaming the porn, I blamed my looks. I started going even deeper into blackpill on the internet and developed more insecurities. But now I’ve realized just because looks are the most important thing in a lot of aspects doesn’t mean it’s the only important thing, so to this day I’m still trying to fix my view on women and I’ve been making progress with that.
. Sometimes you find a way to fix a different problem while evading the real problem, that’s what happened with me. Within my coping mechanism of trying to change my personality I made a lot of friends who are still my friends to this day. But the leering problem in the back of my mind was still there, the fact I pulled no women and was still being bullied for my looks. At that point the thought of getting women was irrelevant to me because I realized it didn’t really matter to me, when you’re that young trying to date is completely useless and I ended up realizing that. But I wanted to stop being bullied for my looks still, at one point I finally started to address the crippling feelings of insecurity that I had about my looks and decided to try and fix them, this was around last year. So I started looking up ways to get better skin, a leaner face, etc, and I actually started to look better eventually. But the thoughts of insecurity were still there and I completely stopped approaching women at all (even to befriend them). I also was on the internet at the age of 9-10 and discovered porn at the age of 10, ever since I started looking at it at that age I viewed women a different way than a normal dude at my school would. This severely damaged the way I talked to women because I didn’t view them as just normal people anymore. I couldn’t make eye contact, talk for more than 3 minutes with them or even walk next to one. So despite the fact that I looked better I still wasn’t able to talk to women at the time. But instead of blaming the porn, I blamed my looks. I started going even deeper into blackpill on the internet and developed more insecurities. But now I’ve realized just because looks are the most important thing in a lot of aspects doesn’t mean it’s the only important thing, so to this day I’m still trying to fix my view on women and I’ve been making progress with that.
