How to Escape Alpine Hell

[somatropinpin]

Modern Alpinids

Why are we so small, soft, pretty, and cute???

Alpinids were mountain people and lost their robust features due to their agriculturally centered lifestyle.

Alpine Skull

• Wide and short cranium
• Greater interorbital distance
• Flat occipit at back of the skull

(Alpinids don't always have short faces vertically. Short skull refers to the length/breadth of the upper skull)

Compare this to a Nordid Skull:

• Much longer and narrower cranium (tends to lead to longer faces vertically)
• Just bigger and more robust skulls in general

How to Alpiggamin Like Leo:
If you're struggling with your alpigganess, Leo is a great example of how to minimize the appearance of Alpinid features in an otherwise very alpine face

1. Lose Weight

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww whoss this ALPIGGAAA Look at how face his face loooookkssss His face is so wide and looks giga-alpigga

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA WHO IS THIS NORDIC CHAD He is so skinny and slender and his face DOESNT LOOK FAT AS SHIT ANYMORE LIKE THIS FUCKING SUBHUMAN AHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

Which looks more likely to be a rotting subsistence farmer in the depths of the German Alps?


And obv loosing this weight associated with a domesticated body type will change your face, making the face look longer and bones more pronounced (all idealy atypical of Alpines)


2.) Haircut

A good haircut will frame the face in a way where it will hopefully look longer and less wide.


Although he is Leonardo Dicaprio and hes basically the second coming of Jesus, he still looks better when his hair is in a middle part

^^^^^You can see the Alpine skull shape too much here

^^^This is better temples slightly more covered but also revealing the middle forehead and increasing perceived facial height.


Also keep it shorter in the back. Dont have that cut where you can see the hair in the back from the front profile

I think this guy would look like he has a much taller face if he cut that hair in the back. I can morph rq

Yeah I think it looks a little taller