How to get more social?

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curxific

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I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
 
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well hop off this fucking forum and try talking to some bitches big nigga
 
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so many posts on here bout that. 5,8 is short
 
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fixing social anxiety is really as easy as just doing/saying what you wanna do regardless of what your fear tells you. Scared to talk to someone? talk to em anyways. Scared to make a joke? Make it anyways. Scared people are watching you do something? Do it anyways. Simple as that.
 
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UnevenNeckshi said:
fixing social anxiety is really as easy as just doing/saying what you wanna do regardless of what your fear tells you. Scared to talk to someone? talk to em anyways. Scared to make a joke? Make it anyways. Scared people are watching you do something? Do it anyways. Simple as that.
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"bro just talk to people" as if i haven't tried but thanks for the advice anyway. I regret making this post honestly.
 
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Just go out and don't forget to take a cold shower
 
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f1l426 said:
возмножно из за лица не общаются
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ну да я не совсем красавчик, просто какой-то ботан у которого вайбы скул шутера
 
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curxific said:
I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
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go outside, go the shop and talk with the cashier about how his day went etc. , give your local homeless money and also talk with him, get a job it will come naturally. you cant expect getting social without actually trying
 
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Davidb said:
go outside, go the shop and talk with the cashier about how his day went etc. , give your local homeless money and also talk with him, get a job it will come naturally. you cant expect getting social without actually trying
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I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
 
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Best thing to do is to get social hobbies. At your age you should play a team sport or smth
 
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curxific said:
I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
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Fake it till you make it and force yourself to experience these interactions man. Unfortunately there's no way to develop social skills without being social. It sucks to be in such a negative feedback loop of being unable to interact, leading to worse social skills, leading to lesser ability to interact, but you have to break that cycle by sucking at interactions initially, even if you constantly get turned down and rejected. Once you begin to improve, you will notice tangible changes to your life and will make friends.

curxific said:
I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
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Doesn't matter that you lost crucial years of your life, at 15, you have a lot of time to get better at speaking with people but you have to start now. It is so, so far from over, but you cannot be a pessimistic doomer because then you are wasting the time you have, and soon enough, you'll have graduated with nothing to show for it.

PM if you'd like to speak further :)
 
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curxific said:
I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
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you probably think they got worse because youre overthinking it, start gymcelling or playing sports where you are forced to speak to people so you will make friends gradually
 
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Davidb said:
you probably think they got worse because youre overthinking it, start gymcelling or playing sports where you are forced to speak to people so you will make friends gradually
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I'm not overthinking it, obviously 2 years of having 0 friends didn't do any good for my social skills.
 
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curxific said:
I'm not overthinking it, obviously 2 years of having 0 friends didn't do any good for my social skills.
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well like i said, if u dont have any hobbies or anything interesting about your personality you cant expect people to just like you and be friends with you for no reason
 
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aids said:
Fake it till you make it and force yourself to experience these interactions man. Unfortunately there's no way to develop social skills without being social. It sucks to be in such a negative feedback loop of being unable to interact, leading to worse social skills, leading to lesser ability to interact, but you have to break that cycle by sucking at interactions initially, even if you constantly get turned down and rejected. Once you begin to improve, you will notice tangible changes to your life and will make friends.


Doesn't matter that you lost crucial years of your life, at 15, you have a lot of time to get better at speaking with people but you have to start now. It is so, so far from over, but you cannot be a pessimistic doomer because then you are wasting the time you have, and soon enough, you'll have graduated with nothing to show for it.

PM if you'd like to speak further :)
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I am going to get motivated by this message, going to try, and then I'm gonna have like one awkward social interaction with somebody which would lead to me having probably bigger social anxiety, idk it's hard to start trying when it just seems like it won't lead to anything. I think I'll just not worry too much about it and try to not miss out on opportunites of having friends in the future.
 
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curxific said:
I am going to get motivated by this message, going to try, and then I'm gonna have like one awkward social interaction with somebody which would lead to me having probably bigger social anxiety, idk it's hard to start trying when it just seems like it won't lead to anything. I think I'll just not worry too much about it and try to not miss out on opportunites of having friends in the future.
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It won't only if you give up.
It's never over until you're in the grave.
 
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its over if youre so non nt to ask it here
 
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curxific said:
I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
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join a team sport and try to befriend some guys there
 
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because ur fat and look like ur 12, and ur short and ur not NT because ur asking why ur bad at socializing on here
 
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curxific said:
I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn
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you are delusional and ugly

curxific said:
not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety.
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you are delusional and autistic

conclusion: its over
 
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there is subhuman face, and then there is subhuman brain chemistry.
if you're a guy incapable of making friends you must be an abused dog or just seriously damaged from birth.

good news is you can fix it, once you actually go normal its hard to switch back to schizo.

go out, learn something and get good at it.
that would be a start.
 
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curxific said:
Shame on you for saying that to a 15 year old sad guy, maybe it's true but it doesn't help
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You're not going to be served your issues and solutions for them on a silver platter by people, let alone those on this forum.

Again man, shit sucks, but you have to cop this shit if you want help here. Stop begging for pity/sympathy. At the end of the day, your life is not in any way impactful to anybody else on this forum, so they do not stand to gain anything by not being harsh.
Don't bitch about it especially if you believe that what they say might be true, take their advice which albeit rude, is still relevant. To care about the insults people throw on you here is actually pitiful.

You are asking people how to get better social skills when most people on here either don't have them and don't know how to get them, or have never had to ask that question. It's not an easy nor a simple, close-ended question to answer.

Like I said, you have to force yourself into uncomfortable environments; you have to stop being a bitch and do something with yourself rather than complaining here, whatever that is. You can never improve in comfort.

Either improve your social skills or give up on improving anything else. I know what I'd choose.
 
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curxific said:
"bro just talk to people" as if i haven't tried but thanks for the advice anyway. I regret making this post honestly.
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bro I'm giving you the advice which works. It's not a magical cure but over time you'll just get used to ignoring the fear so it goes away on its own. If you don't wanna do what actually works then that's your own problem I can't do the work for you.
 
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UnevenNeckshi said:
bro I'm giving you the advice which works. It's not a magical cure but over time you'll just get used to ignoring the fear so it goes away on its own. If you don't wanna do what actually works then that's your own problem I can't do the work for you.
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yeah sry for responding a bit aggressive, ur right
 
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curxific said:
Shame on you for saying that to a 15 year old sad guy, maybe it's true but it doesn't help
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yeah in theory this should be a forum where we help each other but it is used by insecure people to create more insecurities for others. I’m a relatively newgen but I think it wasn't like that before
 
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ectomorpher said:
Bro in Russia the average girl is 5.9 lol
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On wiki of average human height by country it says it's 5'5 for a woman. Where are you getting your stats? To be honest these stats aren't very trustworthy because of how big Russia is, it depends a lot on which region you live.
 
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curxific said:
On wiki of average human height by country it says it's 5'5 for a woman. Where are you getting your stats? To be honest these stats aren't very trustworthy because of how big Russia is, it depends a lot on which region you live.
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all the Russian/Ukrainian girls I saw were always 1.75cm+. The guys we’re all 185+
 
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aids said:
Fake it till you make it and force yourself to experience these interactions man. Unfortunately there's no way to develop social skills without being social. It sucks to be in such a negative feedback loop of being unable to interact, leading to worse social skills, leading to lesser ability to interact, but you have to break that cycle by sucking at interactions initially, even if you constantly get turned down and rejected. Once you begin to improve, you will notice tangible changes to your life and will make friends.


Doesn't matter that you lost crucial years of your life, at 15, you have a lot of time to get better at speaking with people but you have to start now. It is so, so far from over, but you cannot be a pessimistic doomer because then you are wasting the time you have, and soon enough, you'll have graduated with nothing to show for it.

PM if you'd like to speak further :)
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I wanna speak further please lol but idk how to pm ppl here can u lmk cos I don't use this website Im in a similair situation to the guy who posted
 
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ChadliteAfterBimax said:
I wanna speak further please lol but idk how to pm ppl here can u lmk cos I don't use this website Im in a similair situation to the guy who posted
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I don't use this website much too but you can go on my profile and start a private conversation.
 
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