How to get more social?

curxific

curxific

Iron
Joined
Nov 1, 2024
Posts
53
Reputation
23
I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
 
Sort by date Sort by votes
well hop off this fucking forum and try talking to some bitches big nigga
 
  • +1
Reactions: diditeverbegin and auitistsurvior
Upvote 0 Downvote
fixing social anxiety is really as easy as just doing/saying what you wanna do regardless of what your fear tells you. Scared to talk to someone? talk to em anyways. Scared to make a joke? Make it anyways. Scared people are watching you do something? Do it anyways. Simple as that.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
UnevenNeckshi said:
fixing social anxiety is really as easy as just doing/saying what you wanna do regardless of what your fear tells you. Scared to talk to someone? talk to em anyways. Scared to make a joke? Make it anyways. Scared people are watching you do something? Do it anyways. Simple as that.
Click to expand...
"bro just talk to people" as if i haven't tried but thanks for the advice anyway. I regret making this post honestly.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
Click to expand...
go outside, go the shop and talk with the cashier about how his day went etc. , give your local homeless money and also talk with him, get a job it will come naturally. you cant expect getting social without actually trying
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Davidb said:
go outside, go the shop and talk with the cashier about how his day went etc. , give your local homeless money and also talk with him, get a job it will come naturally. you cant expect getting social without actually trying
Click to expand...
I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Best thing to do is to get social hobbies. At your age you should play a team sport or smth
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
Click to expand...
Fake it till you make it and force yourself to experience these interactions man. Unfortunately there's no way to develop social skills without being social. It sucks to be in such a negative feedback loop of being unable to interact, leading to worse social skills, leading to lesser ability to interact, but you have to break that cycle by sucking at interactions initially, even if you constantly get turned down and rejected. Once you begin to improve, you will notice tangible changes to your life and will make friends.

curxific said:
I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
Click to expand...
Doesn't matter that you lost crucial years of your life, at 15, you have a lot of time to get better at speaking with people but you have to start now. It is so, so far from over, but you cannot be a pessimistic doomer because then you are wasting the time you have, and soon enough, you'll have graduated with nothing to show for it.

PM if you'd like to speak further :)
 
  • +1
Reactions: 324554802984230598
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I have actually tried getting more social/reducing my social anxiety for like a year (going outside constantly, trying to start conversations) and it made my social anxiety a little bit better I guess though I have stopped because nothing has changed. My social skills are worse off than they were 2 years ago when I wasn't even trying.
Click to expand...
you probably think they got worse because youre overthinking it, start gymcelling or playing sports where you are forced to speak to people so you will make friends gradually
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Davidb said:
you probably think they got worse because youre overthinking it, start gymcelling or playing sports where you are forced to speak to people so you will make friends gradually
Click to expand...
I'm not overthinking it, obviously 2 years of having 0 friends didn't do any good for my social skills.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I'm not overthinking it, obviously 2 years of having 0 friends didn't do any good for my social skills.
Click to expand...
well like i said, if u dont have any hobbies or anything interesting about your personality you cant expect people to just like you and be friends with you for no reason
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
aids said:
Fake it till you make it and force yourself to experience these interactions man. Unfortunately there's no way to develop social skills without being social. It sucks to be in such a negative feedback loop of being unable to interact, leading to worse social skills, leading to lesser ability to interact, but you have to break that cycle by sucking at interactions initially, even if you constantly get turned down and rejected. Once you begin to improve, you will notice tangible changes to your life and will make friends.


Doesn't matter that you lost crucial years of your life, at 15, you have a lot of time to get better at speaking with people but you have to start now. It is so, so far from over, but you cannot be a pessimistic doomer because then you are wasting the time you have, and soon enough, you'll have graduated with nothing to show for it.

PM if you'd like to speak further :)
Click to expand...
I am going to get motivated by this message, going to try, and then I'm gonna have like one awkward social interaction with somebody which would lead to me having probably bigger social anxiety, idk it's hard to start trying when it just seems like it won't lead to anything. I think I'll just not worry too much about it and try to not miss out on opportunites of having friends in the future.
 
  • +1
Reactions: aids
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I am going to get motivated by this message, going to try, and then I'm gonna have like one awkward social interaction with somebody which would lead to me having probably bigger social anxiety, idk it's hard to start trying when it just seems like it won't lead to anything. I think I'll just not worry too much about it and try to not miss out on opportunites of having friends in the future.
Click to expand...
It won't only if you give up.
It's never over until you're in the grave.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I'm 15 and I've had 0 friends for like 2 years. I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn (if I would take good care of myself), I'm not short (5'8 which is above average for my age), not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety. I've tried geting more social + reconnecting with my old friends, but it just didn't work out. I feel like I've lost crucial years of my life that will affect me in adulthood greatly and I really want to fix that.
Click to expand...
join a team sport and try to befriend some guys there
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
because ur fat and look like ur 12, and ur short and ur not NT because ur asking why ur bad at socializing on here
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
I am not even ugly, I've been rated high ltn/low mtn, but personally, I think I'm like high mtn/low htn
Click to expand...
you are delusional and ugly

curxific said:
not autistic (was never diagnosed, but I don't think I am) + white. The problem is that I just have no social skills and a severe case of social anxiety.
Click to expand...
you are delusional and autistic

conclusion: its over
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
there is subhuman face, and then there is subhuman brain chemistry.
if you're a guy incapable of making friends you must be an abused dog or just seriously damaged from birth.

good news is you can fix it, once you actually go normal its hard to switch back to schizo.

go out, learn something and get good at it.
that would be a start.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
Shame on you for saying that to a 15 year old sad guy, maybe it's true but it doesn't help
Click to expand...
You're not going to be served your issues and solutions for them on a silver platter by people, let alone those on this forum.

Again man, shit sucks, but you have to cop this shit if you want help here. Stop begging for pity/sympathy. At the end of the day, your life is not in any way impactful to anybody else on this forum, so they do not stand to gain anything by not being harsh.
Don't bitch about it especially if you believe that what they say might be true, take their advice which albeit rude, is still relevant. To care about the insults people throw on you here is actually pitiful.

You are asking people how to get better social skills when most people on here either don't have them and don't know how to get them, or have never had to ask that question. It's not an easy nor a simple, close-ended question to answer.

Like I said, you have to force yourself into uncomfortable environments; you have to stop being a bitch and do something with yourself rather than complaining here, whatever that is. You can never improve in comfort.

Either improve your social skills or give up on improving anything else. I know what I'd choose.
 
  • +1
Reactions: 324554802984230598
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
"bro just talk to people" as if i haven't tried but thanks for the advice anyway. I regret making this post honestly.
Click to expand...
bro I'm giving you the advice which works. It's not a magical cure but over time you'll just get used to ignoring the fear so it goes away on its own. If you don't wanna do what actually works then that's your own problem I can't do the work for you.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
UnevenNeckshi said:
bro I'm giving you the advice which works. It's not a magical cure but over time you'll just get used to ignoring the fear so it goes away on its own. If you don't wanna do what actually works then that's your own problem I can't do the work for you.
Click to expand...
yeah sry for responding a bit aggressive, ur right
 
  • +1
Reactions: UnevenNeckshi
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
Shame on you for saying that to a 15 year old sad guy, maybe it's true but it doesn't help
Click to expand...
yeah in theory this should be a forum where we help each other but it is used by insecure people to create more insecurities for others. I’m a relatively newgen but I think it wasn't like that before
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
ectomorpher said:
Bro in Russia the average girl is 5.9 lol
Click to expand...
On wiki of average human height by country it says it's 5'5 for a woman. Where are you getting your stats? To be honest these stats aren't very trustworthy because of how big Russia is, it depends a lot on which region you live.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
curxific said:
On wiki of average human height by country it says it's 5'5 for a woman. Where are you getting your stats? To be honest these stats aren't very trustworthy because of how big Russia is, it depends a lot on which region you live.
Click to expand...
all the Russian/Ukrainian girls I saw were always 1.75cm+. The guys we’re all 185+
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

D
  • Question
women liking stories/expressing interest first on IG - cope? (NEED ADVICE GTFIH)
Replies
7
Views
155
lcberg04
lcberg04
Underdog9494
  • Question
Serious How to get rid of social anxiety?
Replies
21
Views
312
Hugo bone smashing
Hugo bone smashing
S
  • Question
Question about how the rating system here works
Replies
9
Views
155
sorbetist
S
S
Over how do I fix my reputation at school?
Replies
19
Views
333
ultimatebpconsumer
ultimatebpconsumer
werme
  • Question
How do i grow taller
Replies
13
Views
279
MA_ascender
MA_ascender

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (Looksmaxers: 0, Bluepillers: 2)
Back
Top