N
noname123123
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2024
- Posts
- 4
- Reputation
- 7
I'm 18 and I've been trying to stop my fapping addiction for the past 2 years. It's my only addiction apart from the usual things like social media, caffeine and music, but that's probably just because i've been an athlete since I was a child playing in the highest basketball division since I was about 11. So fortunatly alcohol, drugs, nicotine, gaming and binge-eating never really became part of my life. I feel like I have no controll over it, everybody knows me as that one disciplined guy, running before school, training around 6 hours a day. But as cringe and gay as it sounds, I have no discipline when it comes to fapping. I fap only when I relapse wich is about 3 times a week.
It's actually kinda logical when you realise that I probably have ASPD (sociopathy). I grew up with alot of trauma, and I show a lot of signs like: Being a pathological liar, being extremely impulsive and reckless, having a problem with authority, being obsessive, missing part of the emotional spectrum, having anger issues, and loads more.
Sociopaths have a big problem with addiction, just like me they can't controll it. But recently I finally found a way: hurting myself. Everytime I relapsed, I just cut myself. I actually started beating the addiction and making alot of progress. But I had a problem, people started noticing the cuts, especially girls who gave me head as I have most of them on my tighs, so I had to stop doing it. If I get any more, people are gonna start ringing alarm bells. Because right now I just blame our puppy.
So I need new ways to punish myself that aren't obvious to other people. It needs to be physical but nothing gay or kinky so nothing near my penis, etc. It's important to know that I do still live with my parents as i'm still in highschool, and because I never have the house to myself it's best to do it at night when they're sleeping.
Also to be clear I always thought self-harm was the most stupid thing I ever heard, like why the fuck would you. But in this case it's different, it's litteraly the only way to beat this addiction wich as we all know is ruining a big part of my life.
It's actually kinda logical when you realise that I probably have ASPD (sociopathy). I grew up with alot of trauma, and I show a lot of signs like: Being a pathological liar, being extremely impulsive and reckless, having a problem with authority, being obsessive, missing part of the emotional spectrum, having anger issues, and loads more.
Sociopaths have a big problem with addiction, just like me they can't controll it. But recently I finally found a way: hurting myself. Everytime I relapsed, I just cut myself. I actually started beating the addiction and making alot of progress. But I had a problem, people started noticing the cuts, especially girls who gave me head as I have most of them on my tighs, so I had to stop doing it. If I get any more, people are gonna start ringing alarm bells. Because right now I just blame our puppy.
So I need new ways to punish myself that aren't obvious to other people. It needs to be physical but nothing gay or kinky so nothing near my penis, etc. It's important to know that I do still live with my parents as i'm still in highschool, and because I never have the house to myself it's best to do it at night when they're sleeping.
Also to be clear I always thought self-harm was the most stupid thing I ever heard, like why the fuck would you. But in this case it's different, it's litteraly the only way to beat this addiction wich as we all know is ruining a big part of my life.
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