Deleted member 18436
Solstice
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For myself i have always struggled in identifying toxic people/ relationships. This is my guide on how to identify and remove them.
How to deal with people in your life that bring you down
Better word would be "toxic" these types of people can destroy your life its a spectrum from mild to just annoying to so bad on the other end of the spectrum it get's into abusive territory.
What you must remember you are a sponge.
it doesn't matter how optimistic you are if you are living in a negative environment it is robbing you of your potential. These people are dragging you down filling you with negativity and limiting beliefs, anger, pessimism. It will effect your psyche. You must try extremely hard to counteract these things.
Here are possible ways to handle them
Basically my philosophy is simple "life is too short for dealing with toxic people" why make life harder than it already it is why bring yourself down with these toxic people. Absolutely no reason for it.
My strategy is to get rid of these people from your life. You want people in your life that support you who are positive building something with you not against you. That is the ultimate solution.
You are stuck in the social matrix relying on social relationships you are not willing to get rid of toxic people. This causes a power dynamic that you are literally a bitch to someone else.
You cannot create a life worth living with people like this around you. You are the average of the top 5 people you hang out with. So if you make a list of the top 5 people you spend time with write down how many how's you spend with each rank them the top 5 people you spend most time with is the people who have the most influence on. It's a simple theory whoever you hang around the most is who you absorb the most.
This begs the question who do you want to surround yourself with ? For some people you might spend 30 hours a week online or in real life on the weekend or on discord. This may be the reason you are not achieving success you are stuck in a vortex. Let's rectify this.
The types of people we are talking about.
Type 1 ) Your boss, co workers, business partners, These people you usually spend lots of time with watch out for that
Type 2 ) clients, customers if your self employed or working for someone else watch out for that
Type 3 ) Friends you have allot of choices here online irl etc
Type 4 ) boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband if any of you have this. This is your most intimate relationship you spend your most time here usually. Toxicity here is very damaging.
Type 5 ) Family believe it or not. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, kids, dad, mum this category is broad allot of bullshit here family issues are the most sticky and thorny issues. These are the hardest people to cut from your life.
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Lets define toxic "depressed, pessimistic always casting doubt casting doubt, Playing the victim role, they have all these limiting beliefs on what life can't have, dogmatic people really set in there ways this can be from political ideology to religious or in general frame of perception of life, Next is anger prone people and violence from mild to worse and worse. Next is drama the guy where there is always something happening overally dramatic making mountains out of mole hills it's so predictable and draining. Criminal activity friends and family or someone at work. "
These people can be real leeches on your life lastly people with addictions from gaming, TV, Food to actual drugs these people are cancer. These people can make it hard for you to progress in your life.
The ultimate solution is is to CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
Like a cancer you remove it like a tumour. This is a very hard concept for some people to wrap there minds around. I can't cut my family out or my friend Josh we have been friends 15 years. Who cares if someone is not good for you if it is effecting the way you think, act, feel they are not worth it.
My tips on cutting people out is slightly differently to completely cutting all contact instantly.
You gradually do it this will depend on person to person and situation sometimes instant cut offs is needed but you can make it to where they slowly forget about you. The reason why i recommend this approach is that when you cut people off instantly they feel a type of way that can just make life harder. This will apply more for kids here in high school or say college. It's pretty clicke.
Just over a few weeks slowly cut them out of your life if you spend weekends with friends or every Saturday only do 2 out of the month or 1. You get the point.
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It doesn't matter who it is if they are violating your standards whatever they may or may not be. You cut them. Being a person without standards are you even a person at that point i think not. Your principles and values.
Everyone who i stated above can be cut even family.
I don't care if you have a friend from middle school or a client if it is bad for your state of mind and being it's not worth it in the long term. Spiritually if you believe in that. Everyone can be cut.
You hold yourself to principles the same goes for others. Sure don't cut someone for a stupid reason but you should be able to identify what is or is not stupid reason to cut someone.
Even with family you set boundaries even subconsciously people will understand you have no boundaries they will slowly push to see what else they can do to you. These are low impulse people like animals low inhib let's call them "Nigger brains" They will command more and more from you. These people need boundaries the most.
Acknowledge there are circumstances to where anyone can be cut. Enforce them you can't issue idle threats people know it's a empty words. People either respect or fear you. Respect comes from fear. They neither respect or fear you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ways to cut someone out of your life.
This depends on who the person is to you from friend to co worker to boss to family. Each person will be different
Method 1 ) sit down with them explain to them your issues tell them it needs to stop. Personally i do not like this because most people will just agree with you then end up doing it again then act like they forgot what you spoke to them.
Method 2 ) Similar to method 1 but in this case you talk to them and say don't ever contact me here are the reasons x y z, This works with people who you have mutual respect with people. Not all people like this it's up to your judgement people can react in very weird ways hopefully you are at a point to you can physically handle yourself normies can't handle rejection.
Method 3 ) The cold cut block emails, number, any means of communication, stop responding to them. If you are with a foid this works best but even with friends online just remove them this way if they are tards.
Method 4 ) Special cases for a job consider changing to a different part of the company this really is for people with jobs worth anything. Or move job easier said than done but that's what it is.
You will become a happier person in the long term removing bs from life
Shit this is all I have wished someone told me when I was younger. Hope it helps
Please post tips below anything I missed or possible issues.
How to deal with people in your life that bring you down
Better word would be "toxic" these types of people can destroy your life its a spectrum from mild to just annoying to so bad on the other end of the spectrum it get's into abusive territory.
What you must remember you are a sponge.
it doesn't matter how optimistic you are if you are living in a negative environment it is robbing you of your potential. These people are dragging you down filling you with negativity and limiting beliefs, anger, pessimism. It will effect your psyche. You must try extremely hard to counteract these things.
Here are possible ways to handle them
Basically my philosophy is simple "life is too short for dealing with toxic people" why make life harder than it already it is why bring yourself down with these toxic people. Absolutely no reason for it.
My strategy is to get rid of these people from your life. You want people in your life that support you who are positive building something with you not against you. That is the ultimate solution.
You are stuck in the social matrix relying on social relationships you are not willing to get rid of toxic people. This causes a power dynamic that you are literally a bitch to someone else.
You cannot create a life worth living with people like this around you. You are the average of the top 5 people you hang out with. So if you make a list of the top 5 people you spend time with write down how many how's you spend with each rank them the top 5 people you spend most time with is the people who have the most influence on. It's a simple theory whoever you hang around the most is who you absorb the most.
This begs the question who do you want to surround yourself with ? For some people you might spend 30 hours a week online or in real life on the weekend or on discord. This may be the reason you are not achieving success you are stuck in a vortex. Let's rectify this.
The types of people we are talking about.
Type 1 ) Your boss, co workers, business partners, These people you usually spend lots of time with watch out for that
Type 2 ) clients, customers if your self employed or working for someone else watch out for that
Type 3 ) Friends you have allot of choices here online irl etc
Type 4 ) boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband if any of you have this. This is your most intimate relationship you spend your most time here usually. Toxicity here is very damaging.
Type 5 ) Family believe it or not. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, kids, dad, mum this category is broad allot of bullshit here family issues are the most sticky and thorny issues. These are the hardest people to cut from your life.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lets define toxic "depressed, pessimistic always casting doubt casting doubt, Playing the victim role, they have all these limiting beliefs on what life can't have, dogmatic people really set in there ways this can be from political ideology to religious or in general frame of perception of life, Next is anger prone people and violence from mild to worse and worse. Next is drama the guy where there is always something happening overally dramatic making mountains out of mole hills it's so predictable and draining. Criminal activity friends and family or someone at work. "
These people can be real leeches on your life lastly people with addictions from gaming, TV, Food to actual drugs these people are cancer. These people can make it hard for you to progress in your life.
The ultimate solution is is to CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
Like a cancer you remove it like a tumour. This is a very hard concept for some people to wrap there minds around. I can't cut my family out or my friend Josh we have been friends 15 years. Who cares if someone is not good for you if it is effecting the way you think, act, feel they are not worth it.
My tips on cutting people out is slightly differently to completely cutting all contact instantly.
You gradually do it this will depend on person to person and situation sometimes instant cut offs is needed but you can make it to where they slowly forget about you. The reason why i recommend this approach is that when you cut people off instantly they feel a type of way that can just make life harder. This will apply more for kids here in high school or say college. It's pretty clicke.
Just over a few weeks slowly cut them out of your life if you spend weekends with friends or every Saturday only do 2 out of the month or 1. You get the point.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't matter who it is if they are violating your standards whatever they may or may not be. You cut them. Being a person without standards are you even a person at that point i think not. Your principles and values.
Everyone who i stated above can be cut even family.
I don't care if you have a friend from middle school or a client if it is bad for your state of mind and being it's not worth it in the long term. Spiritually if you believe in that. Everyone can be cut.
You hold yourself to principles the same goes for others. Sure don't cut someone for a stupid reason but you should be able to identify what is or is not stupid reason to cut someone.
Even with family you set boundaries even subconsciously people will understand you have no boundaries they will slowly push to see what else they can do to you. These are low impulse people like animals low inhib let's call them "Nigger brains" They will command more and more from you. These people need boundaries the most.
Acknowledge there are circumstances to where anyone can be cut. Enforce them you can't issue idle threats people know it's a empty words. People either respect or fear you. Respect comes from fear. They neither respect or fear you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ways to cut someone out of your life.
This depends on who the person is to you from friend to co worker to boss to family. Each person will be different
Method 1 ) sit down with them explain to them your issues tell them it needs to stop. Personally i do not like this because most people will just agree with you then end up doing it again then act like they forgot what you spoke to them.
Method 2 ) Similar to method 1 but in this case you talk to them and say don't ever contact me here are the reasons x y z, This works with people who you have mutual respect with people. Not all people like this it's up to your judgement people can react in very weird ways hopefully you are at a point to you can physically handle yourself normies can't handle rejection.
Method 3 ) The cold cut block emails, number, any means of communication, stop responding to them. If you are with a foid this works best but even with friends online just remove them this way if they are tards.
Method 4 ) Special cases for a job consider changing to a different part of the company this really is for people with jobs worth anything. Or move job easier said than done but that's what it is.
You will become a happier person in the long term removing bs from life
Shit this is all I have wished someone told me when I was younger. Hope it helps
Please post tips below anything I missed or possible issues.
