avenox
Scythian blood (I hate most Azeris)
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2025
- Posts
- 16,230
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1. Multi-Generational operation
It must be the parents at the back cooking, oldest child taking orders, youngest child taking up one of the seats doing homework.
2. Must be a Sub-4 Hygiene rating
This is critical, the higher the hygiene rating, the worst tasting the food gets, I don’t know how, but based off my own personal experience and studies, dirtier Chinese restaurants have better tasting food, you MUST be actively hunting for this, the hygiene rating is a green sticker displayed on the front of the restaurant, common in the United Kingdom. THERE MUST BE ATLEAST A RAT OR A COCKROACH WANDERING ABOUT! IT SIMPLY ADDS TO THE FLAVOUR!
3. Faded out Menu
This is water but it typically shows how marinated the food is, it is a direct correlation, the older and more marinated the menu board, the more marinated and complex flavour the food will give you.
4. Shouting/Overall loud environment in the kitchen
If the people cooking aren’t fucking smashing the wok across the others faces with at least 80+ decibles of noise isn’t hitting you, the food won’t also be hitting. The angrier and ruder the operators, the better. This is traditional in China. (I have lived in China for 30 years.)
.5 Little cat figurine hitting the Heil
If there isn’t that little cat mini figure on the ordering desk, it is NOT authentic Chinese food. If there isn’t a cat trying to get the 3rd Reich to rise again, AVOID AVOID AVOID!!!
Well Bhais, hopefully this guide helped you to scavenge for the absolute BEST Chinese restaurant/Takeaway, Make sure to follow and rape that like button!
It must be the parents at the back cooking, oldest child taking orders, youngest child taking up one of the seats doing homework.
2. Must be a Sub-4 Hygiene rating
This is critical, the higher the hygiene rating, the worst tasting the food gets, I don’t know how, but based off my own personal experience and studies, dirtier Chinese restaurants have better tasting food, you MUST be actively hunting for this, the hygiene rating is a green sticker displayed on the front of the restaurant, common in the United Kingdom. THERE MUST BE ATLEAST A RAT OR A COCKROACH WANDERING ABOUT! IT SIMPLY ADDS TO THE FLAVOUR!
3. Faded out Menu
This is water but it typically shows how marinated the food is, it is a direct correlation, the older and more marinated the menu board, the more marinated and complex flavour the food will give you.
4. Shouting/Overall loud environment in the kitchen
If the people cooking aren’t fucking smashing the wok across the others faces with at least 80+ decibles of noise isn’t hitting you, the food won’t also be hitting. The angrier and ruder the operators, the better. This is traditional in China. (I have lived in China for 30 years.)
.5 Little cat figurine hitting the Heil
If there isn’t that little cat mini figure on the ordering desk, it is NOT authentic Chinese food. If there isn’t a cat trying to get the 3rd Reich to rise again, AVOID AVOID AVOID!!!
Well Bhais, hopefully this guide helped you to scavenge for the absolute BEST Chinese restaurant/Takeaway, Make sure to follow and rape that like button!
Last edited:
take me back
