
loyolaxavvierretard
𝕯𝖝𝕯 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖜 . Alonso
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HAVE YOU EVER WISHED TO FEEL THE HIGHS OF EXECUTING SELL ORDERS AND BOOK PROFITS ?
HAVE YOU EVER WISHED THAT YOU WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO SMOKES CIGARS AND DOES COCAINE WHILE CHOOSING CALLS ?
YOU HAVE COME TO RIGHT PLACE !! IN THIS GLORIOUS GUIDE I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE MAD MAD MONEY WITHIN DAYS !! YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT RETARDS, DAAYS !!
INTRODUCTION
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A TRADER ACTUALLY IS. IT CAN BE PERFECTLY SUMMARISED USING THIS IMAGE
THIS GUIDE IS BULLSHIT
LET'S BEGIN !!
1. SELL IN MAY GO AWAY
METHOD = STAY INVESTED IN MARKET FROM NOVEMBER 1ST TO APRIL 30TH. THEN FROM MAY 1ST TO OCTOBER 31ST YOU TURN YOUR
INVESTMENTS TO CASH OR BONDS. REPEAT THIS CYCLE YEAR BY YEAR AND WATCH THE PROFITS FILL THE ACCOUNT.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500 - NOV-APR AVG RETURN = 7.5% (1950-2023)
MAY-OCT AVG RETURN = 2.2% (1950-2023)
WHY IT WORKS = EARNINGS SEASON HAS BONUSES HENCE MORE BUYING IN WINTER. SUMMER SEASON HAS RELATIVELY LESS VOLUME IN TRADING ERGO LOW INVESTOR ATTENTION.
RISK = LOW VOLATILITY BUT GAINS WILL BE LOST IN SUMMER.
2. THE FIRST FIVE DAYS OF JANUARY
METHOD = OBSERVE THE FIRST 5 DAYS OF JANUARY. IF THE INDEX IS POSITIVE THEN UNLOAD ALL YOUR NANA'S SAVINGS INTO THE INDEX
AND HODL (YES IT IS CALLED HODL NOT HOLD) FOR A YEAR.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500. - 80% CHANCE OF THE INDEX HAVING A POSITIVE YEAR IF FIRST 5 DAYS ARE GREEN.
AVG RETURN IN POSITIVE YEARS = 13.5%
IF 5 DAYS ARE NEGATIVE THEN CHANCE OF YEAR ENDING POSITIVE = 60%
WHY IT WORKS = JANUARY REFLECTS THE POSITION OF THE INSTITUTIONS FOR A YEAR. IF JANUARY POSITIVE THEN YEAR POSITIVE.
RISK = VERY LOW AS EVIDENCED.
3. SMALL CAP MOONSHOTS IN JANUARY
METHOD = BUY SMALL CAP STOCKS IN LATE DECEMBER AND SELL THEM BY END OF JANUARY. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TO DO AFTER A DISAPPOINTING DECEMBER.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500 = OUTPERFORMS LARGE CAP STOCKS BY 1-2%. REMEMBER THE NUMBER MAY BE SMALL BUT IT IS IN THE CONTEXT OF OUTPERFORMING LARGE CAPS WHICH OUTPERFORM S&P SO FACTOR THAT IN.
WHY IT WORKS = TAX LOSS HARVESTING IN DECEMBER TANKS SMALL CAP VALUE. BUT THE SURGE IN JANUARY IS CREATED DUE TO INCREASED UPSIDE PRESSURE BECAUSE OF RESCALING AND REBALANCING.
RISK = HIGH BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE WHEN INVESTING IN SMALL CAP BUT IT IS STILL FAIRLY RELIABLE FOR A SMALL CAP STRATEGY
4. TURN OF THE MONTH EFFECT
METHOD = BUY S&P 500 AT THE CLOSE ON THE LAST TRADING DAY OF THE MONTH. SELL ON THE 5TH TRADING DAY OF THE NEW UPCOMING MONTH.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P 500 = 90% OF ALL GAINS ARE MADE IN THIS SHORT WINDOW BETWEEN THE MONTHS. THIS WAS TAKEN FROM DATA FROM 1990-2019 SO A BIG SAMPLE SIZE. THIS INCLUDES ALL TRADING ACTIVITIES.
WHY IT WORKS = SALARY AND PENSIONS INFLOW AT THE START OF THE MONTH SO BUYING PRESSURE STARTS SHOWING EFFECT. FUND MANAGERS ALSO REPOSITION THEIR INVESTMENTS MONTHLY ADDING TO THE ALREADY EXISTING PRESSURE.
RISK = VERY LOW SINCE 90% OF ALL GAINS COME HERE. HOWEVER FOR TOP RETURNS THE CAPITAL MUST BE SIZEABLE. THIS IS GUARANTEED GAIN MACHINE.
5. BELIVE IT OR NOT CALLS !!
METHOD = THIS IS FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE. WHENEVER THE INDEXES FALL 2% OR MORE IN THE SAME DAY HIT THE BUY BUTTON LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT WHEN THE MARKET CLOSES THE SAME DAY. HODL FOR ATLEAST 7 DAYS. REAP PROFITS.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P 500 - AVG 7 DAY RETURN AFTER A -2% SINGLE DAY DIP = 1.2% (ABSOULTELY HUGE)
WHY IT WORKS = MEAN REVERSION BASICALLY. IT BRINGS PRICES UP AGAIN SINCE THE MARKET IS THEORITICALLY RATIONAL. ALSO MARKET TEND TO OVERREACT SHORT TERM CAUSING PANIC AND ERGO CREATE SHORT TERM OPPORTUNITY.
RISK = HIGH. IF YOU ARE UNLUCKY, YOU MAY HAVE BOUGHT INTO A BEAR MARKET. THE REWARDS ARE WORTH IT AS MENTIONED ABOVE. ONLY USE IT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.
THESE STRATEGIES ARE MEANT TO BE USED EXACTLY AS PRESENT HERE. USING THESE CONSISTENTLY OVER A PERIOD OF TIME CAN REAP A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF PROFITS. A REGARD SHOULD ALWAYS BE DISCIPLINED.
FINAL EDIT = YOUR CAPITAL SHOULD BE BIG TO MAKE SERIOUS GAINS. CANT PUT 10 DOLLARS AND EXPECT MILLIONS. GRIFTERS HAVE BETTER GUIDES ON HOW TO GRIFT IF YOU WANT THAT.
@Gaygymmaxx @chudlite @Zagro @Snicket @Volksstaffel
HAVE YOU EVER WISHED THAT YOU WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO SMOKES CIGARS AND DOES COCAINE WHILE CHOOSING CALLS ?
YOU HAVE COME TO RIGHT PLACE !! IN THIS GLORIOUS GUIDE I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE MAD MAD MONEY WITHIN DAYS !! YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT RETARDS, DAAYS !!
INTRODUCTION
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A TRADER ACTUALLY IS. IT CAN BE PERFECTLY SUMMARISED USING THIS IMAGE

THIS GUIDE IS BULLSHIT
- IN THIS GUIDE I WILL SHARE SERIOUS 5 TRADING STRATEGIES THAT WORK SURPRISINGLY WELL. YOU CAN TRY IT OUT FOR YOURSELF AND CHECK IT OUT
- AS FOR THE NON SERIOUS FORMAT. GET USED TO IT REGARD. YOU ARE HERE TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE MONEY LIKE A HEDGE FUND, NOT TO SPAM DNRD CONSTANTLY.
LET'S BEGIN !!
METHOD = STAY INVESTED IN MARKET FROM NOVEMBER 1ST TO APRIL 30TH. THEN FROM MAY 1ST TO OCTOBER 31ST YOU TURN YOUR
INVESTMENTS TO CASH OR BONDS. REPEAT THIS CYCLE YEAR BY YEAR AND WATCH THE PROFITS FILL THE ACCOUNT.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500 - NOV-APR AVG RETURN = 7.5% (1950-2023)
MAY-OCT AVG RETURN = 2.2% (1950-2023)
WHY IT WORKS = EARNINGS SEASON HAS BONUSES HENCE MORE BUYING IN WINTER. SUMMER SEASON HAS RELATIVELY LESS VOLUME IN TRADING ERGO LOW INVESTOR ATTENTION.
RISK = LOW VOLATILITY BUT GAINS WILL BE LOST IN SUMMER.
2. THE FIRST FIVE DAYS OF JANUARY
METHOD = OBSERVE THE FIRST 5 DAYS OF JANUARY. IF THE INDEX IS POSITIVE THEN UNLOAD ALL YOUR NANA'S SAVINGS INTO THE INDEX
AND HODL (YES IT IS CALLED HODL NOT HOLD) FOR A YEAR.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500. - 80% CHANCE OF THE INDEX HAVING A POSITIVE YEAR IF FIRST 5 DAYS ARE GREEN.
AVG RETURN IN POSITIVE YEARS = 13.5%
IF 5 DAYS ARE NEGATIVE THEN CHANCE OF YEAR ENDING POSITIVE = 60%
WHY IT WORKS = JANUARY REFLECTS THE POSITION OF THE INSTITUTIONS FOR A YEAR. IF JANUARY POSITIVE THEN YEAR POSITIVE.
RISK = VERY LOW AS EVIDENCED.
3. SMALL CAP MOONSHOTS IN JANUARY
METHOD = BUY SMALL CAP STOCKS IN LATE DECEMBER AND SELL THEM BY END OF JANUARY. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TO DO AFTER A DISAPPOINTING DECEMBER.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P500 = OUTPERFORMS LARGE CAP STOCKS BY 1-2%. REMEMBER THE NUMBER MAY BE SMALL BUT IT IS IN THE CONTEXT OF OUTPERFORMING LARGE CAPS WHICH OUTPERFORM S&P SO FACTOR THAT IN.
WHY IT WORKS = TAX LOSS HARVESTING IN DECEMBER TANKS SMALL CAP VALUE. BUT THE SURGE IN JANUARY IS CREATED DUE TO INCREASED UPSIDE PRESSURE BECAUSE OF RESCALING AND REBALANCING.
RISK = HIGH BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE WHEN INVESTING IN SMALL CAP BUT IT IS STILL FAIRLY RELIABLE FOR A SMALL CAP STRATEGY
4. TURN OF THE MONTH EFFECT
METHOD = BUY S&P 500 AT THE CLOSE ON THE LAST TRADING DAY OF THE MONTH. SELL ON THE 5TH TRADING DAY OF THE NEW UPCOMING MONTH.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P 500 = 90% OF ALL GAINS ARE MADE IN THIS SHORT WINDOW BETWEEN THE MONTHS. THIS WAS TAKEN FROM DATA FROM 1990-2019 SO A BIG SAMPLE SIZE. THIS INCLUDES ALL TRADING ACTIVITIES.
WHY IT WORKS = SALARY AND PENSIONS INFLOW AT THE START OF THE MONTH SO BUYING PRESSURE STARTS SHOWING EFFECT. FUND MANAGERS ALSO REPOSITION THEIR INVESTMENTS MONTHLY ADDING TO THE ALREADY EXISTING PRESSURE.
RISK = VERY LOW SINCE 90% OF ALL GAINS COME HERE. HOWEVER FOR TOP RETURNS THE CAPITAL MUST BE SIZEABLE. THIS IS GUARANTEED GAIN MACHINE.
5. BELIVE IT OR NOT CALLS !!
METHOD = THIS IS FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE. WHENEVER THE INDEXES FALL 2% OR MORE IN THE SAME DAY HIT THE BUY BUTTON LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT WHEN THE MARKET CLOSES THE SAME DAY. HODL FOR ATLEAST 7 DAYS. REAP PROFITS.
PERFORMANCE AGAINST S&P 500 - AVG 7 DAY RETURN AFTER A -2% SINGLE DAY DIP = 1.2% (ABSOULTELY HUGE)
WHY IT WORKS = MEAN REVERSION BASICALLY. IT BRINGS PRICES UP AGAIN SINCE THE MARKET IS THEORITICALLY RATIONAL. ALSO MARKET TEND TO OVERREACT SHORT TERM CAUSING PANIC AND ERGO CREATE SHORT TERM OPPORTUNITY.
RISK = HIGH. IF YOU ARE UNLUCKY, YOU MAY HAVE BOUGHT INTO A BEAR MARKET. THE REWARDS ARE WORTH IT AS MENTIONED ABOVE. ONLY USE IT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.
THESE STRATEGIES ARE MEANT TO BE USED EXACTLY AS PRESENT HERE. USING THESE CONSISTENTLY OVER A PERIOD OF TIME CAN REAP A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF PROFITS. A REGARD SHOULD ALWAYS BE DISCIPLINED.
FINAL EDIT = YOUR CAPITAL SHOULD BE BIG TO MAKE SERIOUS GAINS. CANT PUT 10 DOLLARS AND EXPECT MILLIONS. GRIFTERS HAVE BETTER GUIDES ON HOW TO GRIFT IF YOU WANT THAT.
@Gaygymmaxx @chudlite @Zagro @Snicket @Volksstaffel
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