suicidemonkey
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This is a guide written by a complete veteran in the art of ass-fucking your own mental health. It is ultimately your choice whether you make note of anything I say, or possibly even incorporate some of this into your own life. Either way, I don't care.
My number one tip is to spend as much time in your head as possible. You want to be as detached from the external world as possible, analysing everything but nothing at the same time. Constantly searching for meaning that isn't there, idealising what life could be while simultaneously doing nothing at all to make the most of the present moment. Every thought or feeling needs to be individually monitored like a lab specimen, you are searching for control and certainty through questions and problems that have no concrete existence at all.
Tip number two - you need to obsessively dwell on the past. Rather than viewing life as an opportunity, you need to strictly see it for what it isn't. For me, I'd spend significant amounts of time dwelling on what could or should have happened in the past. This is a great way to distort your own perception of reality, everything becomes a reminder of what was lost or missed. You literally base your sense of self on a fantasy, like a literal dead man walking. Doomer music, self-loathing, repeatedly reviewing thoughts like some 17 year old emo are all very good options. The trick is to invent in a mental prison.
Tip number three - hate yourself. This is key to being as miserable as possible. You need to believe that you are worthless - or even worse, that you are worthless in a special kind of way. Not only does this shut you out from meaningful social contact, but it also ensures every otherwise meaningful experience is instead a silent reminder of what is missing. You want your self-hatred to be completely private. The idea is to separate your true self from others as much as possible and let your emotions take the wheel. Watch as everything becomes a distraction or projection; you may even convince yourself that your state of mind is normal, or even a response to something entirely outside of yourself.
Writing all of that definitely drained me quite a bit but I hope it was at least a good attempt at a guide. All of it is coming from years of lived experience so there is a high probability that it will serve it's purpose.
My number one tip is to spend as much time in your head as possible. You want to be as detached from the external world as possible, analysing everything but nothing at the same time. Constantly searching for meaning that isn't there, idealising what life could be while simultaneously doing nothing at all to make the most of the present moment. Every thought or feeling needs to be individually monitored like a lab specimen, you are searching for control and certainty through questions and problems that have no concrete existence at all.
Tip number two - you need to obsessively dwell on the past. Rather than viewing life as an opportunity, you need to strictly see it for what it isn't. For me, I'd spend significant amounts of time dwelling on what could or should have happened in the past. This is a great way to distort your own perception of reality, everything becomes a reminder of what was lost or missed. You literally base your sense of self on a fantasy, like a literal dead man walking. Doomer music, self-loathing, repeatedly reviewing thoughts like some 17 year old emo are all very good options. The trick is to invent in a mental prison.
Tip number three - hate yourself. This is key to being as miserable as possible. You need to believe that you are worthless - or even worse, that you are worthless in a special kind of way. Not only does this shut you out from meaningful social contact, but it also ensures every otherwise meaningful experience is instead a silent reminder of what is missing. You want your self-hatred to be completely private. The idea is to separate your true self from others as much as possible and let your emotions take the wheel. Watch as everything becomes a distraction or projection; you may even convince yourself that your state of mind is normal, or even a response to something entirely outside of yourself.
Writing all of that definitely drained me quite a bit but I hope it was at least a good attempt at a guide. All of it is coming from years of lived experience so there is a high probability that it will serve it's purpose.
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