kumin
Iron
- Joined
- May 11, 2026
- Posts
- 6
- Reputation
- 6
long warning
CONTEXT :
i began working out not long ago, last year's february i believe
everything started at home, with old, rusty equipment my grandfather had in the garage. i was a fat sub 5 incel with bo and social anxiety
over time i learnt about this website but stayed distant cuz i was somehow scared of posting and the community. working out became slowly more serious over time, because i actually enjoyed the feeling of exhaustion (kinda in a masochist way, but strictly related to sports) so like everyone i began buying shit like supplements and loadable dumbells. i also began to be apathic toward everything i had, and craved shit i wasn't doing before, so just a new life.
i got depressed somehow
im born with 3 kidneys, which two of them on my right side were removed ; but im most importantly born with a bicuspid aortic valve. i was planned to get surgery at 18 (considering im 16 rn) but the condition degrated rapidly when i was approaching 10yo
last december, i visited my cardiologist, and he explicitly told me that i needed surgery fast. it was not imminent, because i could live with it a little. but for the past year, every effort i've done could have risked a sudden heart attack, according to him, it would suddenly explode without any symptoms.
the valve turned out to actually be unicuspid (normal is triple), and it caused me a very high gradient on my aorta and an extremely hypertrophied left ventricle (as if ive been using trenbolone for years) so if i had 120/80 blood pressure outside, in my heart i would have 180/120.
it didn't shock me somehow, i felt so shit throughout the year being told i could die meant nothing.
i must also mention in march i began playing volleyball
fast foward to february 20th, i got my surgery. so its an open heart sternotomy involving a valve repair for those who like the details but didn't touch the aorta and let the ventricle atrophy itself naturally.
i've been forced a 3 month pause to everything. no carrying over 1kg with both arms to let my sternum build itself again, no sports, sudden movements or even stretching. i have a naturally very high recovery rate, so i was out of the hospital in barely 5 days. but at the top of my scar there was a very deep hole that opened because of low tension in the strings inside my skin yk for it to close
it took me about 2.5 months for it to close, and rn it just looks like an anus and its very thin
this week i could go to the gym again, and now i have access to proper equipment, with actually equivalent resistance throughout the motion
i go there on mornings, because its a small and very packed gym. i get my workout, feel something for an 1.5 hours, then for the rest of the day im lost
i can't go play beach vb because the sun and heat is too overwhelming for my scar, i also caught a viral pneumonia and the scar must stay hidden behind frequent sunscreen and an anti UV shirt ; also every friend or teammates has school and im descolarized until september so i have no social activity
everything other than sports is so apathetic
every day genuinely feels endless, and the only thing i think about is working out and the volleyball practices that will end at the end of the month
dnrd if u want it bumps just plz title
CONTEXT :
i began working out not long ago, last year's february i believe
everything started at home, with old, rusty equipment my grandfather had in the garage. i was a fat sub 5 incel with bo and social anxiety
over time i learnt about this website but stayed distant cuz i was somehow scared of posting and the community. working out became slowly more serious over time, because i actually enjoyed the feeling of exhaustion (kinda in a masochist way, but strictly related to sports) so like everyone i began buying shit like supplements and loadable dumbells. i also began to be apathic toward everything i had, and craved shit i wasn't doing before, so just a new life.
i got depressed somehow
im born with 3 kidneys, which two of them on my right side were removed ; but im most importantly born with a bicuspid aortic valve. i was planned to get surgery at 18 (considering im 16 rn) but the condition degrated rapidly when i was approaching 10yo
last december, i visited my cardiologist, and he explicitly told me that i needed surgery fast. it was not imminent, because i could live with it a little. but for the past year, every effort i've done could have risked a sudden heart attack, according to him, it would suddenly explode without any symptoms.
the valve turned out to actually be unicuspid (normal is triple), and it caused me a very high gradient on my aorta and an extremely hypertrophied left ventricle (as if ive been using trenbolone for years) so if i had 120/80 blood pressure outside, in my heart i would have 180/120.
it didn't shock me somehow, i felt so shit throughout the year being told i could die meant nothing.
i must also mention in march i began playing volleyball
fast foward to february 20th, i got my surgery. so its an open heart sternotomy involving a valve repair for those who like the details but didn't touch the aorta and let the ventricle atrophy itself naturally.
i've been forced a 3 month pause to everything. no carrying over 1kg with both arms to let my sternum build itself again, no sports, sudden movements or even stretching. i have a naturally very high recovery rate, so i was out of the hospital in barely 5 days. but at the top of my scar there was a very deep hole that opened because of low tension in the strings inside my skin yk for it to close
it took me about 2.5 months for it to close, and rn it just looks like an anus and its very thin
this week i could go to the gym again, and now i have access to proper equipment, with actually equivalent resistance throughout the motion
i go there on mornings, because its a small and very packed gym. i get my workout, feel something for an 1.5 hours, then for the rest of the day im lost
i can't go play beach vb because the sun and heat is too overwhelming for my scar, i also caught a viral pneumonia and the scar must stay hidden behind frequent sunscreen and an anti UV shirt ; also every friend or teammates has school and im descolarized until september so i have no social activity
everything other than sports is so apathetic
every day genuinely feels endless, and the only thing i think about is working out and the volleyball practices that will end at the end of the month
dnrd if u want it bumps just plz title
