HumidVent

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Deleted member 25059

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@HumidVent
you are one of the people who went from suicidal tendencies and total despair to at least being able to live reconciled life in your 30s with the help of surgeries. Could you elaborate on what exactly changed and if the main reason was the surgery or some coincidence.
 
It was 100% the surgeries.

I used to be a basic ethnic incel, around the time I started university I found puahate and that eventually got me started on researching looks, the halo effect and other blackpill topics.

During school I still had hope that I could find a girlfriend, however once I graduated I realized it probably wasn't going to happen for me, but I still kept on trying. I would spend hours a day and hundreds of dollars on dating site subscriptions. After I got my first real job out of school I started using escorts to cope, and did that until my late 20s. During this time there was still like a very small part of my brain that thought that there could be even a 0.0001% chance I could find a girlfriend.

Then what really broke me and made me 100% know for sure there wasn't even that 0.00001% chance is when this girl started to show interest in me, she would ask me to go out with her occasionally and would always make the effort to hang out with me,. She showed all the usual signs people say to look out for like she would look at me first when laughing, always would find an excuse to be next to me, etc.

So I thought it's finally happening, a girl is showing genuine interest in me, I was 100% sure she would say yes if I asked her out on a date. I've asked hundreds of women out before but those were situations like cold approaches where I wasn't expecting anything in the first place, so at this point in my life I was mostly numb to rejection.

The day before I was going to ask her out on a date was one of the happiest time in my life because I had genuine hope and was so sure she would say yes. However this quickly changed once I asked her, she had this huge look of disgust in her face and I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable. I had nightmares and trouble sleeping for months after this rejection. But one of the lessons I learned from this is that time heals all wounds. I don't feel bad about the rejection anymore.

This was the moment that basically motivated me to finally book my surgeries. And it was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. I didn't go from ugly to Chad or anything like some of the transformations you see posted on this forum, but I did go from ugly to at least average looking. And even that was enough for me to start getting attention from women. So I highly advocate for any type of looks maxing, even if it will only bring you up by .1 of a point it's always worth it.

I would say before my surgery I couldn't get anything, not even women I wasn't attracted to, not even trans women. But after my surgery I can easily get women I'm not attracted to, and occasionally get with looksmatches. The first year or so was like an out of body experience, like good things were finally happening to me but I couldn't believe it was real. Like I couldn't fully appreciate it, since my life had been so shit until that point.

My quality of life is infinitely better now, my family treat me better, my friends make more of an effort to hang out, people rarely makes jokes at my expense anymore, and I've become a manager at work which I think wouldn't have happened had I not had surgery.

I still use escorts from time to time and I actually find that I enjoy them more now that I don't need to fully rely on them.

However I still have that incel mindset and likely always will, it's kind of like imposter syndrome, my mental health is fucked by years of negative feedback loops. I left this forum for a bit after my surgery but after about a year I came back. But overall I'm still in a much better place, I'm not even remotely suicidal anymore, now that I have the sex/relationship sorted out I can focus on other things in life.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 31457, Matthias8272 and Deleted member 25059
I was going to make an oldcel joke about judgeandjury but it's a good story
 
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