Rabbi
Tel Aviv, Israel
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2020
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I need advice because I'm completely stuck and I know I fucked up.
When I was 15, I met this girl online. We instantly clicked - like, better than I've ever connected with anyone. Our first call lasted all night and we just kept talking every single day after that. She understood me in ways no one else did. We went through the typical online relationship ups and downs, periods where we'd fade out because of school and life, but we always came back to each other.
Last year we made it official. For a year and a half straight, we talked every single day. She's genuinely the most important person in my life.
Here's where I fucked up: When I was 16, she asked about my height. I was short and insecure about it, and my brain told me to just lie cuz I'd grow taller later anyw.. So I told her I was 182cm (about 6'0"). Stupid, I know. I genuinely thought I'd hit that height eventually since my brother is tall, so I figured I'd just grow into the lie.
Spoiler alert: I didn't grow. I'm nowhere near that height. I'm actually the same height as her, And she's made it clear multiple times that she really values height in a partner - she's joked that if I were short, we wouldn't even be dating.
Four months ago, we planned to meet in person for the first time. I panicked and made up an excuse to cancel. She was devastated, we didn't talk for two weeks. We're talking again now, but the lie is eating me alive.
Here's the thing - she's been betrayed by everyone close to her. Her parents are divorced and constantly involve her in their drama, she's had a really rough life, and she's told me that I'm basically the only good thing she has left. She's said she's "pinned all her hopes on me."
I know I need to tell her the truth, but I'm terrified of what it'll do to her. This won't just be a normal breakup - it'll confirm her belief that everyone she loves will eventually betray her. At the same time, I can't keep lying to her, and we can't avoid meeting forever.
I can't just ghost her or block her - we share too much of our lives,Plus I genuinely love her and don't want to hurt her like that.
What the hell do I do? Do I tell her the truth and risk destroying her? Do I lie and break up with her over some dumb reason. ? I feel trapped and I know whatever I do is going to hurt her, but the longer I wait, the worse it gets.
I know some of y'all gonna say "it's online thing why does it matter" she's not that far from me (an 1Hr ride) plus , I fucking love her man.
When I was 15, I met this girl online. We instantly clicked - like, better than I've ever connected with anyone. Our first call lasted all night and we just kept talking every single day after that. She understood me in ways no one else did. We went through the typical online relationship ups and downs, periods where we'd fade out because of school and life, but we always came back to each other.
Last year we made it official. For a year and a half straight, we talked every single day. She's genuinely the most important person in my life.
Here's where I fucked up: When I was 16, she asked about my height. I was short and insecure about it, and my brain told me to just lie cuz I'd grow taller later anyw.. So I told her I was 182cm (about 6'0"). Stupid, I know. I genuinely thought I'd hit that height eventually since my brother is tall, so I figured I'd just grow into the lie.
Spoiler alert: I didn't grow. I'm nowhere near that height. I'm actually the same height as her, And she's made it clear multiple times that she really values height in a partner - she's joked that if I were short, we wouldn't even be dating.
Four months ago, we planned to meet in person for the first time. I panicked and made up an excuse to cancel. She was devastated, we didn't talk for two weeks. We're talking again now, but the lie is eating me alive.
Here's the thing - she's been betrayed by everyone close to her. Her parents are divorced and constantly involve her in their drama, she's had a really rough life, and she's told me that I'm basically the only good thing she has left. She's said she's "pinned all her hopes on me."
I know I need to tell her the truth, but I'm terrified of what it'll do to her. This won't just be a normal breakup - it'll confirm her belief that everyone she loves will eventually betray her. At the same time, I can't keep lying to her, and we can't avoid meeting forever.
I can't just ghost her or block her - we share too much of our lives,Plus I genuinely love her and don't want to hurt her like that.
What the hell do I do? Do I tell her the truth and risk destroying her? Do I lie and break up with her over some dumb reason. ? I feel trapped and I know whatever I do is going to hurt her, but the longer I wait, the worse it gets.
I know some of y'all gonna say "it's online thing why does it matter" she's not that far from me (an 1Hr ride) plus , I fucking love her man.
