Deleted member 6997
Cuckologist
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
- Posts
- 11,280
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I don’t talk much, I’m emotionally flat, monotone, never change my facial expression, and I keep to myself. I used to be called creepy a lot in school for being that way, so I resented people and isolated myself.
When I approach people, they are visibly uncomfortable, don’t make eye contact, and give short responses. This, to me, reaffirmed what people said about me as a kid, so I continue to stay away from people.
The other day, an older lady at my work said that she overheard a group of girls from another dept talking about me. At first I thought, “Great, more contempt and shit-talking for doing nothing but existing.” The jist of it is that they think I’m attractive and are nervous when they talk to me. That’s when it hit me that I wasn’t making them uncomfortable, they were nervous and didn’t know what to say to me. It makes me wonder how many other times I’ve assumed I was disliked when it wasn’t true.
I’ve lived my whole adult life isolating myself and never opening up to anyone. My question is that it’s always in the back of my head that everyone is creeped out by and dislikes me, how do I change that mindset and learn to be more open to people? I’m worried I’m going to open up, get another streak of bad interactions, and immediately get pissed off and go back to self-isolation.
When I approach people, they are visibly uncomfortable, don’t make eye contact, and give short responses. This, to me, reaffirmed what people said about me as a kid, so I continue to stay away from people.
The other day, an older lady at my work said that she overheard a group of girls from another dept talking about me. At first I thought, “Great, more contempt and shit-talking for doing nothing but existing.” The jist of it is that they think I’m attractive and are nervous when they talk to me. That’s when it hit me that I wasn’t making them uncomfortable, they were nervous and didn’t know what to say to me. It makes me wonder how many other times I’ve assumed I was disliked when it wasn’t true.
I’ve lived my whole adult life isolating myself and never opening up to anyone. My question is that it’s always in the back of my head that everyone is creeped out by and dislikes me, how do I change that mindset and learn to be more open to people? I’m worried I’m going to open up, get another streak of bad interactions, and immediately get pissed off and go back to self-isolation.
