D
Deleted member 26
What I want, whenever I want, wherever I please.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2018
- Posts
- 10,566
- Reputation
- 15,735
/r/all
My girlfriend (of 1 1/2 years) and I follow an "FLR" which means female led relationship. It's basically a lifestyle fetish thing. Without being too specific I basically have dedicated my life to making her happy in a seemingly selfless way (it's not really selfless I guess because I enjoy it myself, but that's all I get from it). She controls all the finances, we only do stuff if she wants to do it, we never do what I want, sex is only for her, I do all the chores, etc. The whole relationship is basically about double standards that benefit her and that don't benefit me, to put it simply. But that's just how our relationship is. I've struggled with it at times but I enjoy it overall.
I have a sciatica issue with my back. It's normally not a big deal but over the weekend I seriously screwed it up. It was totally agonizing and I had to go to the hospital. My girlfriend was completely unsupportive and didn't care about me at all. She told me to power through the pain but I was like rolling around in pain almost. It was clearly impossible. I called her by her first name by accident and she yelled at me for being disrespectful. I had to drive myself to the hospital because she wouldn't let me use the phone. She was just completely annoyed about the whole thing. I think she told me that she hopes I catch the virus but I wasn't sure. I was out of it as I was leaving the house. They gave me some muscle relaxers in the hospital and I'm doing better now, but I'm trying not to exert myself too much until the disk completely goes back into place.
Also, while she does sometimes treat me badly as part of the "role", she didn't seem to be doing that here. I mean she knew it was serious, and I think she just revealed exactly how she felt. I always thought that even though we had this relationship, that she did actually care about me. But because of the way our relationship was, it didn't come out much. She loved me in her own way, I thought. But these last days, I realized that she actually just views me as a literal servant. She doesn't care about me as a person, only as submissive partner. Even calling it a partnership doesn't make sense.
Maybe this is the wrong place to post this but I wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal, healthy relationships. Am I overthinking this? Do you think I might be able to make the relationship work long-term? And if you have dabbled in d/s stuff I'd be curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences. Thanks.
banderas banderas goodfellas niro
