I am a failure

futureashtray

futureashtray

caylee cowan > your oneitis
Joined
Aug 12, 2023
Posts
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Reputation
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I wasted my whole day rotting in these forums, watching tiktoks, consuming internet, etc. instead of bettering myself. I decided to eat like shit, and jerk off

And I still have the audacity to listen to my favorite music and imagine myself in a world where im a 6”4 big cock young and rich Chad.

Im such a loser, I want the outcome but fall asleep when faced with the process, today I had like 10-12 hours to work on myself and better myself but I ended up rotting.

I wish the blackpill never existed, I wish I was never broke, I wish I was tall, I wish I have wider clavicles.

All I’m faced with is to either moneymaxx and try to change my predetermined height, predetermined cock size, change my predetermined everything. It’s like the whole world is against me

But my fucking discipline is shit, absolutely fucking shit. I just prefer to rot than to fucking change it.

I can’t believe I’m going through this at 15, I don’t want to end up like @curlyheadjames

Getting height mogged ruins my whole day.
Knowing that I’m not attractive ruins my day.
Knowing that my penis isn’t big and size matters ruins my day (the reason why I never watch porn, and the reason I don’t want to ever have sex since I fear I will never please my girl)

At school knowing that being good at basketball/football is a halo but being absolutely garbage at both also ruins my whole day.

Just taking mirror picture and seeing my hideous face and clavicles ruins it all.

Nothing. Is. Fair.

I get complimented about how organized and clean I am on the outside, I never smell bad, I always have my school supplies clean and tidy all organized, but inside my backpack there’s just a dirty mess, same with my desk and whole room. Same with my body also, I wear my sweater everywhere, no matter the temperature. I want to seem perfect to other but in reality I’m just a mess. A ugly mess.

I want to change but the harder I try to break from the chains, the stronger they become.

I wish my oneitis never gave me attention I wish she never made it look like she liked me. I wish I never picked that class. If she never gave me that attention, made me feel special. I would have never gotten this ego for myself. Now I have unrealistically high standards for myself for no reason. She should have never even given me attention, I was short, fat, ugly, had a horrible hair cut, etc I was literally subhuman. But I was happy, all I cared about was video games, and jerking off.

Now all I think about is making money, my height, my clavicles, my penis size, and my face.

Either I change now, or I regret it for the rest of my life.
 
  • +1
  • So Sad
Reactions: AngryShortMale, Deleted member 26065, St.TikTokcel and 7 others
if ur being serious pm me brah
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 23558
I feel you brother , after i started getting blackpilled I understand the world truly is a fucked up place where only the top people can enjoy it while we have to suffer

I sometimes have these days where I do nothing and rot like today

I'm in your situation but with my face being fucked and pp

Wish we were more supportive here but we just tell each other to kill ourselves etc.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Mio and Pikabro
Wanna change ? Chop your dick off, that might make you ascend.

You guys all want a magical solution that DOESNT exist.
 
Failed thread
 
  • So Sad
  • +1
Reactions: Mio and Deleted member 42009
If you’re aware of this at 15 you’re sorted lmao. Just improve yourself for a couple years, it will be hard for the first month but after a few you’ll see differences and if you stick to it for a year you’ll be a new man. By 18 you’ll be completely different as a person. This is called growing up. Do it now.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Mio
Bro I’m 28 and still rotting. Just relax.
 
  • +1
Reactions: 6′2 still over, Deleted member 23558 and NotoriousLoser
Your life is over, sadly.
 
  • JFL
  • +1
Reactions: Pikabro and Deleted member 42009
cope or rope
 
Tbh you have to be happy where you're at in order to find the energy to improve
 
  • +1
Reactions: Pikabro and Aladin
Tbh you have to be happy where you're at in order to find the energy to improve
You need to be invested in yourself with a healthy self esteem tbh, otherwise you won’t put any effort in trying
 
You’re 15 lol you got blessed with the holy grail of information, there are people who didn’t get blackpilled until 35
 
  • +1
Reactions: User28823, Deleted member 42009 and Pikabro
Bro i know im not the right person to say this but your dick grows till like you are 18 jfl, and so do your facial features,height etc


Dont give up yet, late bloomers do exist and maybe you are 1 of em
 
  • JFL
Reactions: User28823 and Deleted member 26065
I wasted my whole day rotting in these forums, watching tiktoks, consuming internet, etc. instead of bettering myself. I decided to eat like shit, and jerk off

And I still have the audacity to listen to my favorite music and imagine myself in a world where im a 6”4 big cock young and rich Chad.

Im such a loser, I want the outcome but fall asleep when faced with the process, today I had like 10-12 hours to work on myself and better myself but I ended up rotting.

I wish the blackpill never existed, I wish I was never broke, I wish I was tall, I wish I have wider clavicles.

All I’m faced with is to either moneymaxx and try to change my predetermined height, predetermined cock size, change my predetermined everything. It’s like the whole world is against me

But my fucking discipline is shit, absolutely fucking shit. I just prefer to rot than to fucking change it.

I can’t believe I’m going through this at 15, I don’t want to end up like @curlyheadjames

Getting height mogged ruins my whole day.
Knowing that I’m not attractive ruins my day.
Knowing that my penis isn’t big and size matters ruins my day (the reason why I never watch porn, and the reason I don’t want to ever have sex since I fear I will never please my girl)

At school knowing that being good at basketball/football is a halo but being absolutely garbage at both also ruins my whole day.

Just taking mirror picture and seeing my hideous face and clavicles ruins it all.

Nothing. Is. Fair.

I get complimented about how organized and clean I am on the outside, I never smell bad, I always have my school supplies clean and tidy all organized, but inside my backpack there’s just a dirty mess, same with my desk and whole room. Same with my body also, I wear my sweater everywhere, no matter the temperature. I want to seem perfect to other but in reality I’m just a mess. A ugly mess.

I want to change but the harder I try to break from the chains, the stronger they become.

I wish my oneitis never gave me attention I wish she never made it look like she liked me. I wish I never picked that class. If she never gave me that attention, made me feel special. I would have never gotten this ego for myself. Now I have unrealistically high standards for myself for no reason. She should have never even given me attention, I was short, fat, ugly, had a horrible hair cut, etc I was literally subhuman. But I was happy, all I cared about was video games, and jerking off.

Now all I think about is making money, my height, my clavicles, my penis size, and my face.

Either I change now, or I regret it for the rest of my life.
Life its unfair sometimes, but its okay you can try make the most of it. Just focus on the good things you have and the things you can maximise ( money, some part of your looks). Good luck and keep your head up man
 
Not a single word
 

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