futureashtray
caylee cowan > your oneitis
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2023
- Posts
- 4,722
- Reputation
- 4,627
I wasted my whole day rotting in these forums, watching tiktoks, consuming internet, etc. instead of bettering myself. I decided to eat like shit, and jerk off
And I still have the audacity to listen to my favorite music and imagine myself in a world where im a 6”4 big cock young and rich Chad.
Im such a loser, I want the outcome but fall asleep when faced with the process, today I had like 10-12 hours to work on myself and better myself but I ended up rotting.
I wish the blackpill never existed, I wish I was never broke, I wish I was tall, I wish I have wider clavicles.
All I’m faced with is to either moneymaxx and try to change my predetermined height, predetermined cock size, change my predetermined everything. It’s like the whole world is against me
But my fucking discipline is shit, absolutely fucking shit. I just prefer to rot than to fucking change it.
I can’t believe I’m going through this at 15, I don’t want to end up like @curlyheadjames
Getting height mogged ruins my whole day.
Knowing that I’m not attractive ruins my day.
Knowing that my penis isn’t big and size matters ruins my day (the reason why I never watch porn, and the reason I don’t want to ever have sex since I fear I will never please my girl)
At school knowing that being good at basketball/football is a halo but being absolutely garbage at both also ruins my whole day.
Just taking mirror picture and seeing my hideous face and clavicles ruins it all.
Nothing. Is. Fair.
I get complimented about how organized and clean I am on the outside, I never smell bad, I always have my school supplies clean and tidy all organized, but inside my backpack there’s just a dirty mess, same with my desk and whole room. Same with my body also, I wear my sweater everywhere, no matter the temperature. I want to seem perfect to other but in reality I’m just a mess. A ugly mess.
I want to change but the harder I try to break from the chains, the stronger they become.
I wish my oneitis never gave me attention I wish she never made it look like she liked me. I wish I never picked that class. If she never gave me that attention, made me feel special. I would have never gotten this ego for myself. Now I have unrealistically high standards for myself for no reason. She should have never even given me attention, I was short, fat, ugly, had a horrible hair cut, etc I was literally subhuman. But I was happy, all I cared about was video games, and jerking off.
Now all I think about is making money, my height, my clavicles, my penis size, and my face.
Either I change now, or I regret it for the rest of my life.
And I still have the audacity to listen to my favorite music and imagine myself in a world where im a 6”4 big cock young and rich Chad.
Im such a loser, I want the outcome but fall asleep when faced with the process, today I had like 10-12 hours to work on myself and better myself but I ended up rotting.
I wish the blackpill never existed, I wish I was never broke, I wish I was tall, I wish I have wider clavicles.
All I’m faced with is to either moneymaxx and try to change my predetermined height, predetermined cock size, change my predetermined everything. It’s like the whole world is against me
But my fucking discipline is shit, absolutely fucking shit. I just prefer to rot than to fucking change it.
I can’t believe I’m going through this at 15, I don’t want to end up like @curlyheadjames
Getting height mogged ruins my whole day.
Knowing that I’m not attractive ruins my day.
Knowing that my penis isn’t big and size matters ruins my day (the reason why I never watch porn, and the reason I don’t want to ever have sex since I fear I will never please my girl)
At school knowing that being good at basketball/football is a halo but being absolutely garbage at both also ruins my whole day.
Just taking mirror picture and seeing my hideous face and clavicles ruins it all.
Nothing. Is. Fair.
I get complimented about how organized and clean I am on the outside, I never smell bad, I always have my school supplies clean and tidy all organized, but inside my backpack there’s just a dirty mess, same with my desk and whole room. Same with my body also, I wear my sweater everywhere, no matter the temperature. I want to seem perfect to other but in reality I’m just a mess. A ugly mess.
I want to change but the harder I try to break from the chains, the stronger they become.
I wish my oneitis never gave me attention I wish she never made it look like she liked me. I wish I never picked that class. If she never gave me that attention, made me feel special. I would have never gotten this ego for myself. Now I have unrealistically high standards for myself for no reason. She should have never even given me attention, I was short, fat, ugly, had a horrible hair cut, etc I was literally subhuman. But I was happy, all I cared about was video games, and jerking off.
Now all I think about is making money, my height, my clavicles, my penis size, and my face.
Either I change now, or I regret it for the rest of my life.