I am breaking down at the ward

[Deleted member 17578]

All my coping mechanisms are being destroyed, my emotional protection. Myself distancing from my emotions and who I am by talking about philosophy, blackpill theories and other irrelevant shit instead of having to face my emotional pain.

My ego is constantly attacked and questioned. What do I really feel, what do I really need? Why do I have these huge emotional walls around me.

It's over for me. I am a crying, upset, emotional mess at least once a week.

Absolutely over.

Brutal.

It feels so wrong, yet i know it is needed.

My subscription to the mental ward at the age of 28, is my LAST chance to fix my brain, fix my personality disorders, fix my depression.

Else I will become that man,
that man coping with alcohol/drugs until he dies, the man who is bitter, the man who is alone, the man who has so much hate and pain inside of him every day, the man who hates life, who hates joy.

It's my last chance, if this doesn't work, I give up

 

[Vermilioncore]

I’m ready to exit this world from the rooftop when the time comes for the heaviness of life to break my arms and fall upon me

 

[apocalypse]

Are you really in a ward...?

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

All my coping mechanisms are being destroyed, my emotional protection. Myself distancing from my emotions and who I am by talking about philosophy, blackpill theories and other irrelevant shit instead of having to face my emotional pain.

My ego is constantly attacked and questioned. What do I really feel, what do I really need? Why do I have these huge emotional walls around me.

It's over for me. I am a crying, upset, emotional mess at least once a week.

Absolutely over.

Brutal.

It feels so wrong, yet i know it is needed.

My subscription to the mental ward at the age of 28, is my LAST chance to fix my brain, fix my personality disorders, fix my depression.

Else I will become that man,
that man coping with alcohol/drugs until he dies, the man who is bitter, the man who is alone, the man who has so much hate and pain inside of him every day, the man who hates life, who hates joy.

It's my last chance, if this doesn't work, I give up

Niggas born in February or November be like

 

[Deleted member 17578]

I’m ready to exit this world from the rooftop when the time comes for the heaviness of life to break my arms and fall upon me

every day is survival for me now.
for years I have lived completely ALONE. Nobody cares about me, I have no friends, family, girlfriend, NOTHING, NOBODY, ZERO.
no connection AT ALL.

Yet I continue functioning, I continue going on and on and on. Working a new job, dating, socializing, going to events, and so on.

How the fuck do I do it? by feeling NOTHING.

my brain is empty, my emotions don't exist. I feel NOTHING. that's the only fucking way you can cope with a life as subhuman as this

Now I feel this pain so much, every week.
When I lower my walls, when I start feeling what I really want/need in life, all I feel is PAIN, sadness, grief, anxiety, everything feels so fucking bad.

I don't want to feel like this, yet life as an emotionless robot is not a life worth living.
I have potential for so much more.

 

[Deleted member 17578]

Niggas born in February or November be like

I am a lion you motherfucker.

August mogs

 

[Deleted member 17578]

Are you really in a ward...?

where else would I be?

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I am a lion you motherfucker.

August mogs

August niggas are masculine crashout who care about money, thug vibes I can't front. Probably doesn't get pressed, and moderately likely to come from a broken home.

 

[apocalypse]

where else would I be?

in your room at home

 

[Deleted member 17578]

August niggas are masculine crashout who care about money, thug vibes I can't front. Probably doesn't get pressed, and moderately likely to come from a broken home.

I am a man of pride, loyalty and demand admirance from people around me.

Great injustice was done to me in my childhood.

Instead of being allowed to grow into a healthy lion, ruler of the world, I was put-down, destroyed, treated like trash.

I will never forget.

 

[Deleted member 17578]

in your room at home

having clinical psychologists with 30 years of experience diagnosing you with games, plays, guided imaginations, and more, mogs hard.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I am a man of pride, loyalty and demand admirance from people around me.

Great injustice was done to me in my childhood.

Batman vibes,

Now send the day

 

[Deleted member 17578]

Batman vibes,

Now send the day

Don't go to Mcdonalds in Amsterdam-West on the 2nd of August. I love you people.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

Don't go to Mcdonalds in Amsterdam-West on the 2nd of August. I love you people.

2nd of August

Anger issues, and exceedingly non NT, and few friends

Loner, and doesn't require many, self sufficient and irritable, high expectations of others

some underlying feminine features, physically and mentally, excess emotional understanding similar to a woman, good at manipulation

If good looking, prettyboy, with distinct feminine/ pretty features

 

[Deleted member 17578]

2nd of August

Anger issues, and exceedingly non NT, and few friends

Loner, and doesn't require many, self sufficient and irritable, high expectations of others

some underlying feminine features, physically and mentally, excess emotional understanding similar to a woman, good at manipulation

If good looking, prettyboy, with distinct feminine/ pretty features

member of the 'incel' community, a global terrorist organization of women-hating men.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

member of the 'incel' community, a global terrorist organization of women-hating men.

Terrorist organization?

I wish we could make a real difference! But that's pushing it!

 

[perpetuallytired]

every day is survival for me now.
for years I have lived completely ALONE. Nobody cares about me, I have no friends, family, girlfriend, NOTHING, NOBODY, ZERO.
no connection AT ALL.

Yet I continue functioning, I continue going on and on and on. Working a new job, dating, socializing, going to events, and so on.

How the fuck do I do it? by feeling NOTHING.

my brain is empty, my emotions don't exist. I feel NOTHING. that's the only fucking way you can cope with a life as subhuman as this

Now I feel this pain so much, every week.
When I lower my walls, when I start feeling what I really want/need in life, all I feel is PAIN, sadness, grief, anxiety, everything feels so fucking bad.

I don't want to feel like this, yet life as an emotionless robot is not a life worth living.
I have potential for so much more.

You need a higher purpose tbh. Something final that you work towards. Or at least some final ending.

 

[Deleted member 17578]

You need a higher purpose tbh. Something final that you work towards. Or at least some final ending.

i need to kill a lot of people

 

[perpetuallytired]

I already know what age I will most likely rope at, somewhere between 40 and 60 depending on my life circumstances (may do it earlier if my life is shit). I have some ideas of what I want to do with my life (not gonna say on this forum). I also simply don't care that much about most things anymore.

All of that ironically fixed my mental health. I'm more clear headed.

 

[Deleted member 17578]

I already know what age I will most likely rope at, somewhere between 40 and 60 depending on my life circumstances (may do it earlier if my life is shit). I have some ideas of what I want to do with my life (not gonna say on this forum). I also simply don't care that much about most things anymore.

All of that ironically fixed my mental health. I'm more clear headed.

I don't fear death, I fear life.

Death feels calm to me.
An ending of a storm. No longer being blamed, being pressured, being used.
It's the end of my suffering, my pain.

Death is welcome.

 

[lowinhibcel]

over for mentalcels...

 

[lowinhibcel]

They probably should keep you off this site lol

 

[ivan.kuk]

@MoggerGaston mirin' the larp efforts

 

[ivan.kuk]

did you heal your arm yet? Gotta get back to those raves, I'm missing the vids.

 

[iam good boy]

every day is survival for me now.
for years I have lived completely ALONE. Nobody cares about me, I have no friends, family, girlfriend, NOTHING, NOBODY, ZERO.
no connection AT ALL.

Yet I continue functioning, I continue going on and on and on. Working a new job, dating, socializing, going to events, and so on.

How the fuck do I do it? by feeling NOTHING.

my brain is empty, my emotions don't exist. I feel NOTHING. that's the only fucking way you can cope with a life as subhuman as this

Now I feel this pain so much, every week.
When I lower my walls, when I start feeling what I really want/need in life, all I feel is PAIN, sadness, grief, anxiety, everything feels so fucking bad.

I don't want to feel like this, yet life as an emotionless robot is not a life worth living.
I have potential for so much more.

Stfu nigatard you must be tall chad larping as subhuman

 

[Deleted member 17578]

@MoggerGaston mirin' the larp efforts

No larp

Stfu nigatard you must be tall chad larping as subhuman

No larp

 

[WhoTookVendetta]

No larp

No larp

Hes not LARP

 

[ivan.kuk]

No larp

No larp

what do you get from all this?

 

[Deleted member 17578]

what do you get from all this?