hugeloser
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2025
- Posts
- 39
- Reputation
- 31
In high school I was 6’3. Good frame. Decent face. Probably a htn or chadlite on a good day .People noticed me and had a good social group even though i was a huge loser faggot.
Then I met this average girl. Not hot. Not special. But I fixated. I convinced myself she mattered. We talked every day for a year. Every single day. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t try anything. I was scared. Scared of ruining something that didn’t even exist. I acted like she was some prize I had to earn by being “good.” I was pathetic.
She didn’t ghost me. She didn’t use me. I just kept getting worse. I stopped trying. I got bitter. I got jealous. I started drinking. Pills. Smoking. Anything. I turned into a piece of shit. Treated everyone around me like garbage for no reason. Pushed them all away. I wanted people to hate me because I hated myself.
In the start people did not mind, because looks carried me, but when the alcohol and binging took over, and my insane descension took place, it all crumbled
So I disappeared. I cut off everyone. Deleted everything. Changed cities. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t say goodbye. Just vanished. No one’s heard from me since.
It’s been five years. Spent like 4 of the years as a massive fucking loser still. But last year i actually lost most of the fat. I lift again. Eat clean. I don’t talk to anyone, expect a few of my friends, i rarely go out. I still don’t have game. Havent been romantically involved with a girl in years, i still feel insane most of the time. But my face is coming back. The old potential is almost there. That’s all I care about.
And hopefully when i'm there, and reached my full potential, i'll pray to god i find this bitch and then i'll fuck her, just as closure, for me. I'll ofcourse ghost her afterwards.
Then I met this average girl. Not hot. Not special. But I fixated. I convinced myself she mattered. We talked every day for a year. Every single day. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t try anything. I was scared. Scared of ruining something that didn’t even exist. I acted like she was some prize I had to earn by being “good.” I was pathetic.
She didn’t ghost me. She didn’t use me. I just kept getting worse. I stopped trying. I got bitter. I got jealous. I started drinking. Pills. Smoking. Anything. I turned into a piece of shit. Treated everyone around me like garbage for no reason. Pushed them all away. I wanted people to hate me because I hated myself.
In the start people did not mind, because looks carried me, but when the alcohol and binging took over, and my insane descension took place, it all crumbled
So I disappeared. I cut off everyone. Deleted everything. Changed cities. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t say goodbye. Just vanished. No one’s heard from me since.
It’s been five years. Spent like 4 of the years as a massive fucking loser still. But last year i actually lost most of the fat. I lift again. Eat clean. I don’t talk to anyone, expect a few of my friends, i rarely go out. I still don’t have game. Havent been romantically involved with a girl in years, i still feel insane most of the time. But my face is coming back. The old potential is almost there. That’s all I care about.
And hopefully when i'm there, and reached my full potential, i'll pray to god i find this bitch and then i'll fuck her, just as closure, for me. I'll ofcourse ghost her afterwards.
