Seth Walsh
The man in the mirror is my only threat
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- Joined
- Jan 12, 2020
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Ladies and gents, gather 'round and behold the spectacle that is my trading account. After years of slogging through the quagmire of peasantry, I've ascended to the ethereal planes of multi-multimillionaire status, all thanks to my sublime trading strategies. You're welcome for the opportunity to bask in the glow of my financial genius.
Firstly, let’s get something straight: if your portfolio isn’t showing at least a 1000% gain per annum, you’re playing in the kiddie pool. Come back when you stop embarrassing yourself. Real traders, like myself, use strategies so advanced they make quantum physics look like a toddler’s babble.
Here’s a little breakdown for those of you who can still muster some brain cells after your pitiful attempts at trading:
In conclusion, keep your sniveling, half-witted financial 'advice' to yourselves. I am on a plane of existence so elevated, it's no wonder I look down upon you all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go polish my yacht. It got dusty from all the money I threw on it last night.
/s
Yours truly,
The Oracle of Omnipotence, Financial Titan, Slayer of Bear Markets
Seth Walsh
Firstly, let’s get something straight: if your portfolio isn’t showing at least a 1000% gain per annum, you’re playing in the kiddie pool. Come back when you stop embarrassing yourself. Real traders, like myself, use strategies so advanced they make quantum physics look like a toddler’s babble.
Here’s a little breakdown for those of you who can still muster some brain cells after your pitiful attempts at trading:
- Buy Low, Sell Never - If you ever considered selling, you're not fit to walk the sacred path of the enlightened investor. My stocks only go up. Period.
- Befriend Volatility - While you quake in your cheap, off-brand shoes during market dips, I'm swooping in like the economic titan I am, buying stocks with the ferocity of a starving lion.
- Insider Insights? - Please, I knew about the 2008 crash in 2005. By the time you mere mortals caught on, I was already sipping a fine vintage on my private island, which, by the way, I purchased using the spare change I found in my couch cushions.
- Diversification is for the Weak - I put all my money in one stock, because I’m not a scared little rabbit, trembling at the sight of risk. I stare into the abyss of financial ruin and it blinks first.
In conclusion, keep your sniveling, half-witted financial 'advice' to yourselves. I am on a plane of existence so elevated, it's no wonder I look down upon you all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go polish my yacht. It got dusty from all the money I threw on it last night.
/s
Yours truly,
The Oracle of Omnipotence, Financial Titan, Slayer of Bear Markets
Seth Walsh