I am no longer able to perceive life the same way as I did when I was younger. Oldcels, is it the same for you?

[Peachy]

I’m currently about to turn 25.

When I was a kid, I would wake up and immediately intrinsically know that I am a human being, I have a mom and dad with whom I live, I go to school, have a couple friends, I like playing video games, spending time outside with friends, I have to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all that other human stuff.

Even a few years ago I was still perceiving life the same way - I would wake up and right away I knew that I’m a young adult, I have a job, I have a family that cares about me, I’m trying to build a career, I like music, I browse this shithole website, etc.

Nowadays, I wake up and I’m kind of enraged to be in this reality because being asleep feels like the best thing ever and it suddenly ends. There is no longer an “I”. It’s all observation of the external world. It feels like I know exactly what and when will happen, like I gained some interdimensional knowledge. Obviously, I can’t say what will happen in a minute, but as soon as it happens I’m either totally unsurprised or I have an “a-ha I knew this exact thing would happen”. I feel like I “completed” life as if it was a video game. Kind of feels like beating the main storyline in a video game but having no desire to do side quests, so you just free roam mindlessly. I am not depressed or suicidal because there are still things to learn but I am already looking forward towards death. I know exactly what it’s like to be dead and it’s wonderful, but being here is wonderful too in a sense - it’s an experience for sure.

Is this what all adults experience at some point? Mid-life crisis? Did I take too many dissociative drugs?

 

[Clown Show]

As oldcel, I only know one fact for sure:

 

[Deleted member 21182]

Yes when ur younger the world has way more hope and mystery ended for me reascently

 

[ascension]

Yes when ur younger the world has way more hope and mystery ended for me reascently

You're still in school kid

 

[Deleted member 21182]

You're still in school kid

nigga I’m old enough tho apperantly life will still get worse

 

[Peachy]

Yes when ur younger the world has way more hope and mystery ended for me reascently

That’s obvious and everyone experiences this in their teens, but I am talking about the next step after this. Sure everything loses magic, but you can still find enjoyment in many things. At some point though, everything will lose enjoyment. I’m sure that if you could live forever, sooner or later you’d reach this point. I reached the point where I feel like I’ve lived for an eternity, all my relatives are long dead and everything is long gone. I’m just sitting in this void and continuing to react to external stimuli just for the sake of it.

 

[Deleted member 20422]

Human life is too long to not go insane (especially as a subhuman). Thats why all those eldery people are mostly batshit insane

 

[thickdickdaddy27]

Ageing sucks

 

[Peachy]

Human life is too long to not go insane (especially as a subhuman). Thats why all those eldery people are mostly batshit insane

Apparently most people who don’t reach maturity take life too seriously, as if everything somehow matters. Once you do reach mental maturity, you will start perceiving like everything is a play and we are the actors - clown world vibes basically.