Randomized
Guillotined
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2023
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We have a tendency to do things because they simply work, and then we become scared of new stuff because we don't know if it will. We all do some form of mirroring, and the lack of a mirroring is usually what makes you ND or what gets you outcasted. However, we still have a "core" part of ourselves, and a lack of that is bad.
I was like this for a while, but I had to accept that I misunderstood the benefits it brought me, and the only way you can change it is if you accept it for it's reality. Mirroring people because you want to be liked is selfish, because these people don't know that you're simply mirroring them. They assume you're one of them, which is why they've called you out for it. You're not loved by many, you're loved by few, because they love a version of you that only exists around them. You cannot love a mirror because the mirror's whole purpose is to just reflect whatever is standing in front of it, and so they love what they see in the mirror but not the mirror itself.
It's not a "bad" thing overall, and it doesn't make you a bad person. A majority of people are like this, especially if you're young. But you would have to accept that it's not a positive trait. Everything that's "positive" about you is what you've seen in others, not because you stand by them. You should want to be proud of your own behavior because it's what aligns with you, not because it's what people around you would like.
You could be perfect and people will always find a reason to dislike you, it doesn't matter. So there's no point on having true "you" solely be someone who seeks that validation.
The way I "fixed" this was just accepting the reality and then writing down who I wanted to be. It felt unnatural at first but it's simply what worked. I wrote down traits I admired (or what I thought others admired) or whatever, and worked towards them. I learned my morals and I stuck with them, but still be open minded. Over time the person I "wanted" to be no longer mattered, I eventually I just became me. I didn't become the person I wanted to be, but I became myself, and that's fine. I'm happy.
Now-a-days, if someone says I did X or Y I could tell you immediately if I did or didn't do it. Not because I have good memory, but because I know who I am and I know how I act. That confidence in yourself is worth it, and a lack of it made me anxious. If you do it for any reason, it should be because you want to trust yourself.
I was like this for a while, but I had to accept that I misunderstood the benefits it brought me, and the only way you can change it is if you accept it for it's reality. Mirroring people because you want to be liked is selfish, because these people don't know that you're simply mirroring them. They assume you're one of them, which is why they've called you out for it. You're not loved by many, you're loved by few, because they love a version of you that only exists around them. You cannot love a mirror because the mirror's whole purpose is to just reflect whatever is standing in front of it, and so they love what they see in the mirror but not the mirror itself.
It's not a "bad" thing overall, and it doesn't make you a bad person. A majority of people are like this, especially if you're young. But you would have to accept that it's not a positive trait. Everything that's "positive" about you is what you've seen in others, not because you stand by them. You should want to be proud of your own behavior because it's what aligns with you, not because it's what people around you would like.
You could be perfect and people will always find a reason to dislike you, it doesn't matter. So there's no point on having true "you" solely be someone who seeks that validation.
The way I "fixed" this was just accepting the reality and then writing down who I wanted to be. It felt unnatural at first but it's simply what worked. I wrote down traits I admired (or what I thought others admired) or whatever, and worked towards them. I learned my morals and I stuck with them, but still be open minded. Over time the person I "wanted" to be no longer mattered, I eventually I just became me. I didn't become the person I wanted to be, but I became myself, and that's fine. I'm happy.
Now-a-days, if someone says I did X or Y I could tell you immediately if I did or didn't do it. Not because I have good memory, but because I know who I am and I know how I act. That confidence in yourself is worth it, and a lack of it made me anxious. If you do it for any reason, it should be because you want to trust yourself.
Although recently i've been posting very little
