I am slowly turning shizophrenic

[NoCope]

I am 19, and for past half a year, I feel like I am going insane. I see symbolism in almost every single thing. Sometimes, I reach epiphanies about stuff and it feels like God gave it to me. I really don’t understand if I have truly connected to God, or if I am going insane. My whole worldview is a collection of symbolism and epiphanies. I am trying to crack the code to reality, and it feels like I can somewhat understand it. Sometimes, I challenge myself to do something stupid: like skip every other step on a staircase, and if I don’t do that, I will suffer (or if I do it, I will be rewarded). I feel like I am dissociating from this world. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any experience with this?

 

[NoCope]

Bump

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

Give me more examples the stairs are tame but if you genuinely believe there are results stemming from it that's pretty nuts

 

[Deleted member 21863]

 

[NoCope]

Give me more examples the stairs are tame but if you genuinely believe there are results stemming from it that's pretty nuts

I take it pretty seriously, but if I fail a challenge, I give myself another one to redeem myself. If I make a promise to God and fail it, he always punishes me. Always

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

View attachment 2014152

Need I say more?

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I take it pretty seriously, but if I fail a challenge, I give myself another one to redeem myself. If I make a promise to God and fail it, he always punishes me. Always

I think you're trolling but if not get therapy before this escalates

 

[NoCope]

I think you're trolling but if not get therapy before this escalates

I feel so lost. I was so confident this month, and past 2 days just turned into hell. I am constantly ruminating thoughts, anxious, hands are shaking. I am scared of something, I am fully in my flight or fight mode. Idk what to do

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I feel so lost. I was so confident this month, and past 2 days just turned into hell. I am constantly ruminating thoughts, anxious, hands are shaking. I am scared of something, I am fully in my flight or fight mode. Idk what to do

Start murdering!

 

[NoCope]

Start murdering!

I am being 100% serious. I wish I was trolling

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I am being 100% serious. I wish I was trolling

Was just thinking the same thing when I wrote that.

Go to town.

 

[Hero of the Imperium]

at least you realize you are going schizo. interesting

try and find a good doctor while you are high functioning

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

at least you realize you are going schizo. interesting

try and find a good doctor while you are high functioning

Real shiii

 

[Clark69]

You're just unlocking your third eye. I would suggest checking out Gaia TV on Youtube. Seems like you're just waking up.