I can’t detach my self worth from my face

Prøphet

Prøphet

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light”
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I am a deformed subhuman, I was furiously slammed by the cold indifference of the genetic lottery. Bottom line is I’m going to need nothing short of a full Giant-style skull package to save me. I need to make the money for this asap, it is my lifes purpose at this point. But one of the things that holds me back the most is how much I hate and feel ashamed of myself. Every glance in the mirror makes me feel this way. If I can find a way to detach who I am from what I look like, maybe I can become ambitious again, the way I was before I took the BP. Because right now I am utterly hopeless, miserable, and who am I fooling, I’m depressed.
 
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Reactions: zygosmasher and 1966Ford
I’m sure being ND plays a huge factor as well but it feels like the self hatred manages to poison every aspect of my life. The rational and logical part of me wants to succeed, but there’s an even bigger part that wants me to fail, to lay down and rot. It’s screaming in my head all the time that it never began and I should just accept my overwhelming genetic ineptitude. I think I made a mistake with all this bp shit feeding this dark part of me. Subhumans were never meant to get this deep into it, it causes insanity I think.
 
Last edited:
  • +1
Reactions: zygosmasher
I’m sure being ND plays a huge factor as well but it feels like the self hatred manages to poison every aspect of my life. The rational and logical part of me wants to succeed, but there’s an even bigger part that wants me to fail, to lay down and rot. It’s screaming in my head all the time that it never began and I should just accept my overwhelming genetic ineptitude. I think I made a mistake with all this bp shit feeding this dark part of me. Subhumans were never meant to get this deep into it, it causes insanity I think.
ND is way more important
 
youre a chad in my eyes bhai
 

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