sometimes when the fit is fire, Im debloated and my skin is clear and i look very decent, then I go out confidently and do get the stares ,attention I was looking for, I suddenly realize I cant actually handle that. I start making weird gestures with my hand or my leg becuase Im uncomfortable asf and the anxiety kicks in, wishing I had stayed home. Its not even about the looks anymore, it seems like my soul is not able to form any type of human connection... I just wanna be invisible, alone
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