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xnohy
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2024
- Posts
- 67
- Reputation
- 58
I dont have the motivation to continue with life, I retain testosterone for like 6 months and I just turn so feminine, then I try to go to the gym and have no motivation then get bored after like 5 months, why couldn’t life just gave me the easy way out, why does it always have to be so hard man. My mom is taking ssri cuz of her insecure no female talking to son, and my brother is a chad who is always mad and secretly injects test and thinks no one notices, my dad is a successful businessman just that he isn’t really a dad and can’t share that success with his family because he’s selfish and hasn’t even raised his 2 sons cuz he’s in “business trips” all the time. And I have a fucking hard time socializing and every time I try to do something good for myself I quit, even projects I try to do or anything I quit. I’ve been to 3 psychologist in my life and 2 of them told me I was a lost cause and that nothing could be done to fix me, the other one was just keeping me just for my dads money. I’ve never had a real best friend, just a girl who I couldn’t control my emotions with and got mad at and another guy who i got mad at also. Should I just kill myself atp? What have I got left to not die for? I do nothing everyday is just a repeating never ending cycle, the only things that change in my life are my bed sheets once like 4 months and my clothes. I have friends but they’re all out with girls or have girlfriends or are going to a lot of parties but I just can’t do that, I feel just horrible being anywhere around a lot of people just makes me feel insecure as shit and guilty for making those people have to look at my ugly face and body, I just feel like a waste of oxygen and space. I don’t do good in school, constantly having to go to after school classes and just passing every year with just the needed marks. I have no talents, the only good thing you could say I have is my English and you can see it’s not very good by my grammar. I’ve tried starving to make myself feel better but I’m a pussy and never actually tried killing myself. Im thinking of getting the pills my mom takes and just taking a lot of them just so it’s done quickly, so if you actually liked any of my horrible posts I made here, this might be the last one, or maybe not and I pussy out like I always do.
