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Deleted member 17585
Hardstyle is my only cope
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2022
- Posts
- 495
- Reputation
- 374
Idk if I am low-T or whatever, I just don't think I can do this life thing anymore. After trying to take my father's landscape business which I have mentioned in my other thread(s), I am just unable to take the stress anymore. My father is insisting that I get a bachelor's in landscape horticulture but I hate studying and college as a whole. For measure, I intentionally graduated high school since it was really easy and I couldn't stomach being there another year. Now I am having to go for four more years. I wanna be a neet but at the same time, I see posts on 4chan all the time of neets who regret not putting in work when they were younger since everyone else at their age is successful. I can't deal with the stress of having to go into debt just to get a degree I don't even want to get for a job that I don't really care about because it seems like I can't do anything else (failed at front-end web dev, cybersecurity, and welding).
I'm 19 and already considering just ending it all since I have no copes or anything to hope towards. It's just gonna be the same video games, same people, same small town. It's not like I can do the work I want to do (which is none; I have no fucking clue of what I want to do. Everything I think I might want to do I fear I will disappoint my family, especially my father.) I'm starting to think a cap in my head might be the easiest way out since I was made permanently defective by being autistic and my life has went to shit since I am ugly. Someone come kill me please so if a god exists I won't burn in hell.
I'm 19 and already considering just ending it all since I have no copes or anything to hope towards. It's just gonna be the same video games, same people, same small town. It's not like I can do the work I want to do (which is none; I have no fucking clue of what I want to do. Everything I think I might want to do I fear I will disappoint my family, especially my father.) I'm starting to think a cap in my head might be the easiest way out since I was made permanently defective by being autistic and my life has went to shit since I am ugly. Someone come kill me please so if a god exists I won't burn in hell.