I FARTED ON MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER PARENTS NOTICED IT

D

Deleted member 21244

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I arrived at my girlfriend's house for dinner, already in a foul mood. She had been getting on my nerves lately, and I was feeling particularly irritable. As soon as we sat down at the table, we started arguing about something trivial - I can't even remember what it was now.

But as the argument dragged on, I could feel a rumbling in my stomach. I knew that I had to fart, but I didn't want to give my girlfriend the satisfaction of winning the argument. So I held it in, clenching my butt cheeks together as tightly as I could.

Unfortunately, I waited too long. Just as my girlfriend's parents were serving the main course, my resolve broke and I let out a massive fart. It was so loud that the plates on the table rattled and the wine glasses shook.

My girlfriend's parents looked horrified, but I wasn't done yet. I turned to face them, stuck my butt in their direction, and let loose with another fart. It was even louder than the first one, and I could see my girlfriend's parents struggling to breathe.

But that still wasn't enough. I continued to fart on them, relentlessly, until they were practically gasping for air. My girlfriend was begging me to stop, but I was enjoying myself too much. I felt powerful, like I was finally getting revenge for all the times that I had been wronged.

After a few minutes of farting, I decided to take things up a notch. I grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes from the table and flung it at my girlfriend's parents, hitting them both in the face. Then I grabbed a handful of gravy and smeared it all over their heads, laughing maniacally.

My girlfriend was crying now, but I was too far gone to care. I grabbed the nearest bottle of wine and started chugging it, spilling it all over myself and the table. And then I reached down and pulled off my shoes, throwing them at my girlfriend's parents as hard as I could.

The chaos continued for another few minutes, until my girlfriend's parents finally managed to escape to the safety of their bedroom. My girlfriend was left alone with me, sobbing uncontrollably. But I didn't care. I was high on the rush of destruction, feeling like a god.

As I walked out of the house, I saw my girlfriend's parents peeking out from behind the curtains. I raised my middle finger at them, cackling with glee. And then I got into my car and drove away, feeling like I had just conquered the world.

I once went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, and let me tell you, it was a disaster. We started arguing about something stupid and before I knew it, things got heated. In the midst of our argument, I let out the loudest, most obnoxious fart I've ever produced. It was like a thunderclap, echoing through the entire house.

But that wasn't enough for me. Oh no, I had to take things to the next level. I turned around, aimed my butt at her parents, and let loose with another massive fart directly into their faces. They were coughing and gagging, trying to get away from the foul stench, but I kept following them around the room, continuing to fart on them like a demented machine gun.

My girlfriend was horrified, but I just couldn't stop. I was on a rampage, fueled by the adrenaline rush of doing something so outrageous. I even started laughing maniacally, relishing in the chaos I was causing.

Eventually, her parents had had enough and started yelling at me to leave. But I wasn't done yet. I grabbed a bottle of ketchup from the table and squirted it all over their fancy white carpet, smearing it around with my hands like a crazed toddler. And as I was leaving, I punched a hole in their wall just for good measure.

It was a night that will live in infamy, and I regret nothing. In fact, I'm already planning my next move. Who knows what kind of trouble I'll cause next time? The possibilities are endless...
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Deleted member 25938
brag thread, dnrd btw
 
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Reactions: Lonenely sigma, Deleted member 24586, Trilogy and 3 others
Even the most eloquent and poetic Redditors shudder in awe and fear at the contents of this thread.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 21244
DA854E95 F430 4990 AD45 A58C94DD6B7E
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 21244
@ihatereddit
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 21244
beautiful story
I too hope to have a gf one day so I can fart on her
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 21244
I tried to fart on my gf and accidentally shat on her
 

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