i feel disgusted by my neurodivergence

[Former Shortcel]

i grew up being a people pleaser who would constantly mask in public as i have a fear of being a burden upon others.

this fear eventually lead to me purposefully isolating myself from others as i dont want to go through the embarassment of slipping up infront of someone and revealing my true ND self. its like NT people all have a secret magical scroll that tells them how to do shit except me

im also terrible at managing executive functions and i envy those who dont struggle with my issues. unless im on ritalin i cant mentally handle the simplest tasks to the point where they all build up and i have to deal with it completely stressed the fuck out. in which the cycle then repeats itself all over again

i feel so much shame around all of it, to others who are aware of this but dont understand my situation they view me as simply lazy but dont understand the guilt i carry.

i dont want to live like this, i wish i was neurotypical, and what i see in myself as a result of being ND is why i cant stand other neurodivergents so much

@iblamexyz

 

[iblamexyz]

i grew up being a people pleaser who would constantly mask in public as i have a fear of being a burden upon others.

this fear eventually lead to me purposefully isolating myself from others as i dont want to go through the embarassment of slipping up infront of someone and revealing my true ND self. its like NT people all have a secret magical scroll that tells them how to do shit except me

im also terrible at managing executive functions and i envy those who dont struggle with my issues. unless im on ritalin i cant mentally handle the simplest tasks to the point where they all build up and i have to deal with it completely stressed the fuck out. in which the cycle then repeats itself all over again

i feel so much shame around all of it, to others who are aware of this but dont understand my situation they view me as simply lazy but dont understand the guilt i carry.

i dont want to live like this, i wish i was neurotypical, and what i see in myself as a result of being ND is why i cant stand other neurodivergents so much

@iblamexyz

being nd unironcally runied my life

 

[Former Shortcel]

being nd unironcally runied my life

as much as i generally dislike neurotypical people, i envy them and wish i could function like they do.

for the most part i cant stand neurodivergents because i see the things i hate about myself in them. its also why im a massive hypocrite, a lot of the things i hate other people doing is shit i literally do myself lmao

 

[Former Shortcel]

being nd unironcally runied my life

i think another issue is i was diagnosed late, i wish i was on medication sooner

 

[iblamexyz]

i think another issue is i was diagnosed late, i wish i was on medication sooner

nah I am glad I wasn't put on meth as a child

 

[Former Shortcel]

nah I am glad I wasn't put on meth as a child

true. maybe not as a child, and im glad my parents never punished me for my authenticity, but it effected me heavily once i started highschool which wouldve been ideal to be put on meds rather than in my later teens

 

[Former Shortcel]

@mcmentalonthemic

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

why do you not buy ADHD meds under the table and function that way

 

[iblamexyz]

why do you not buy ADHD meds under the table and function that way

eh if ur gonna get mods do it via doc imo

 

[Former Shortcel]

why do you not buy ADHD meds under the table and function that way

i do want to acquire adderall at some point, ritalin is good but adderall mogs it so hard

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

eh if ur gonna get mods do it via doc imo

better hop on a safe stimulant that's legally allowed until you're able to get them via prescription
than just wait and basically do nothing

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

i do want to acquire adderall at some point, ritalin is good but adderall mogs it so hard

just be glad, i wish there was some sort of pill that helps with my neurodivergency

 

[Avagar Nexus]

i grew up being a people pleaser who would constantly mask in public as i have a fear of being a burden upon others.

this fear eventually lead to me purposefully isolating myself from others as i dont want to go through the embarassment of slipping up infront of someone and revealing my true ND self. its like NT people all have a secret magical scroll that tells them how to do shit except me

im also terrible at managing executive functions and i envy those who dont struggle with my issues. unless im on ritalin i cant mentally handle the simplest tasks to the point where they all build up and i have to deal with it completely stressed the fuck out. in which the cycle then repeats itself all over again

i feel so much shame around all of it, to others who are aware of this but dont understand my situation they view me as simply lazy but dont understand the guilt i carry.

i dont want to live like this, i wish i was neurotypical, and what i see in myself as a result of being ND is why i cant stand other neurodivergents so much

@iblamexyz

Just act in whatever manner, whatever you do is mostly interpreted different by everyone anyways

 

[jeremyy]

i grew up being a people pleaser who would constantly mask in public as i have a fear of being a burden upon others.

this fear eventually lead to me purposefully isolating myself from others as i dont want to go through the embarassment of slipping up infront of someone and revealing my true ND self. its like NT people all have a secret magical scroll that tells them how to do shit except me

im also terrible at managing executive functions and i envy those who dont struggle with my issues. unless im on ritalin i cant mentally handle the simplest tasks to the point where they all build up and i have to deal with it completely stressed the fuck out. in which the cycle then repeats itself all over again

i feel so much shame around all of it, to others who are aware of this but dont understand my situation they view me as simply lazy but dont understand the guilt i carry.

i dont want to live like this, i wish i was neurotypical, and what i see in myself as a result of being ND is why i cant stand other neurodivergents so much

@iblamexyz

Being ND is more of a curse than ‘blessing’

 

[Former Shortcel]

just be glad, i wish there was some sort of pill that helps with my neurodivergency

its a shame there is nothing for autism. do you just have autism by itself, or adhd as well?

 

[mcmentalonthemic]

its a shame there is nothing for autism. do you just have autism by itself, or adhd as well

not diagnosed with adhd so will never claim it
but stimulants do make me feel much better [stimulants for adhd, i'm not talking about recreational ones]

 

[Prøphet]

Bros literally me

 

[Luquier]

Lack of life experience is the most disgusting thing IMO

I am a teenager in an adult body it’s nauseating

 

[Former Shortcel]

Lack of life experience is the most disgusting thing IMO

I am a teenager in an adult body it’s nauseating

I feel like me purposefully isolating myself a lot during my first year of uni has caused me to lose some life experience.

sure i did some things but it pales in comparison to all the experiences my other friends went through this year, my own worries are causing me to miss out on so much

 

[Luquier]

I feel like me purposefully isolating myself a lot during my first year of uni has caused me to lose some life experience.

sure i did some things but it pales in comparison to all the experiences my other friends went through this year, my own worries are causing me to miss out on so much

All I ever do is rot

 

[Former Shortcel]

All I ever do is rot

I make the attempt to go out and do shit but its hard to organise stuff with my friends because they can be just as incompetent as me jfl