I feel intense guilt and shame

starvecell

starvecell

gaana likh du kya uspe? 🦄
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The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
 
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The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Litteraly me.
 
IMG 6139
 
Am sorry
 
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not gonna lie I feel you I have some family members and a parent that is a kinda popular doctor around here, I just work a nobody job, maybe translate philosophy books or find status from something else as intellectually challenging.
 
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  • Ugh..
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Lol so u missed some tuk tuk uni and ur retarded parents becomevdrunkards . All of you should buy a rope or jump from balcony one last midnights bhais and behens
 
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I had it 3 times worse than you and I dont cry about it, man up
 
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The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Must be an indian
 
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Reactions: starvecell
just get over it bro
 
The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Brutal bro

Learn copywriting or some shit bro
 
The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Thank God I wasn't born indian
I Appreciate things that I have in life thank you Jesus
 
The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Heres what I would do
1. Believe in Christ because he is the only way the truth and life He loves everyone including you and wants best for you all he is asking is having faith in him
2. after you become Christian you leave your abusive household with all respect you slam the door shut and live somewhere else
3. choose a degree that you really want (of course don't choose something dumb like liberal arts or some shit ) something that you have interests in and kinda pays well too doesn't need to be paying 6figures
 
The second I hear any medical school name-dropped or I read it online my day is ruined. From my early childhood I've been told that anything less is a disappointment and now my whole attitude on universities is fucked. I go to a pretty shitty uni and often times late at night/early morning I spend hours on end thinking I'm a failure and that I ruined my life because I could've put in more effort and been accepted into a medical school.

I honestly feel like subhuman trash when I remember multiple dumbass people I know back in grade school/highschool being accepted into medical colleges. I feel a deep hole in my chest, a very empty feeling.

Lately that empty feeling has been turning into anger.

I spend 4+ hours looking at acceptance rates and reading Reddit posts of people who claim to have attended these colleges and how their parents feel so proud of them and ll, n here my mum cries in front of me every other day coz of all the men in her family are either a failure or not alive.

I know I could've gotten into one, I scored good according to my first attempt but i ditched it because my ex got selected and she left me right after.

I was extremely depressed during my sophomore and junior years likely due to taking accutane. I still think I'm smart but with each passing year my mind becomes more deranged and my thoughts become more violent.

I can't imagine the euphoria of being accepted into an medical college and the proud theve felt.

But now my father is drunkard
Mum cries in front of me eveyday
Dont have a sibling.
No friends
No future

If I were ever accepted it'd be a huge weight off my shoulders. It's like I've been carrying heavy weights for over a decade and that's the only way to get rid of them. I think there's something wrong with me. Life doesn't feel real. I haven't slept in 24 hours.

And the worst part it that the mum whom i want to make feel proud, i sometimes wanna kill her minecraft coz of how big of a failure she makes me feel.
Dnr faggot
 
Yh go to med school study 10 years, then you are done being bald with no girl, both parents dead died from alcoholism and you get a good salary but being sub 5 and marry a low tier woman who see's you only as a checking account. Well done
 
Im a failure and I wish I could die in my sleep today
 

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