I feel like i can’t love.

[synthize]

I try my hardest and i really want to love but all i really do is tolerate or like people. For the past 6 years i yearned for love and desperately wanted at the very least a hug, id cry myself to sleep because i wanted warm embrace but i was homeschooled and had just moved to a new town with no neighbors. I began to get used to this cycle, “Get very sad, want love/embrace/companionship/friends, then realize that i won’t and can’t and it won’t happen for ages if it were to. then i’d get a wave of happiness one day” then the cycle repeats. So i eventually got so used to it i stopped searching for love and happiness and embrace. And now fast forward to recently, i wasn’t looking for love, then love found me. But i didn’t/don’t know how to receive it, i really don’t think personally my mind is in the right place for a relationship yet im in one and i don’t love her despite her being good looking and nice. I have nobody i can talk to about this because i still have no friends.

Do i leave her cause she deserves someone better than me? Or do i stay and one day i might wake up and actually feel connected to her and love her.

 

[Old Büll]

 

[synthize]

yeah tbh i’m just kinda using this as a place to dump it, there’s not many other places i can do it like insta or tiktok.

 

[Old Büll]

yeah tbh i’m just kinda using this as a place to dump it, there’s not many other places i can do it like insta or tiktok.

Didn’t ask grey

 

[zzr]

Go to nature

 

[synthize]

Go to nature

I should probably go on a walk lol.

 

[WonkyChin186]

dnr but sounds like an L hope it gets better

 

[synthize]

dnr but sounds like an L hope it gets better

haha preciate it