DravTeen
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2025
- Posts
- 26
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- 8
Im M 17 and im 6ft but im incredibly ugly so the height doesn't even factor towards anything. This post is more of a rant about how I've felt my whole life, but ever since I was young, I've constantly felt separated from any social life or outings, and that feeling has been especially prevalent in high school. A lot of times im with people that i would like to call my friends, but I always feel as if I have to force myself into their circle in order to even receive the bare recognition. But when I do talk with these people in group settings, I constantly get reminded as to how lonely I am, as they always talk about the experiences that they had together at a party or hang out. On top of that, they plan these things right in front of my face and personally ask everyone else, "Yo, do you want to come?" but then when it comes to me, they don't even ask, nor question whether I'm interested in coming or hanging out. For these reasons, I feel like I don't have any friends and I'm not worth the effort, and because of that mentality, I can't even have the courage to say, "Can I come?" after they didn't invite me. Beyond those feelings, I acknowledge the fact that I am ugly, and I've definitely felt this for a large majority of my life, with people like my friends or even randoms blatantly telling me that I am ugly. I've also had my family mention to me a few times that, too, me as well.
In my life, I've barely received any forms of interest from others except for 1 friend (who lives in a whole nother state) and my family. I never get calls, texts, or people to check up on me except a grand total of maybe 5 people (four of which are my family). I even feel as if my cousin (F) thinks i'm disgusting as this one time she came to our house for vacation and my little cousin was sitting next to me (i was on the far right of the couch, my little cousin in the middle, and my F cousin on the left) and she was bothering him so he told her im going to make you sit in the middle and move far away and she literally shrieked and said no no wait im sorry ill stop.
Another time is when a few of my friends made this rumor that I liked a girl which i didnt even like her and it spread through all the people i knew and it reached her and her friends and these people constanly bereated me for thinking that i would have a chance or for the fact that i supposedly liked her. Even after i asked for these people who orginated the rumor to stop it and tell the truth that they made it up they just kept laughing.
For these reasons, I can never imagine myself truly having a friend group of some sort or even a romantic love life where the girl actually loves me and doesn't love me if I have money or something else. But forgetting a love life even just a female who shows me some form of attention and compassion beyond my family.
Quite literally the only way i've been able to simulate these feelings of love, attention, or large forms of compassion is by watching fucking romance anime.
The truth is ive attempted 3 times but ive always failed because im too scared to die. I want to live a life where i can obtain these feelings and thats why I havent gone through with it.
I dont really know what to do and sorry for all the negativity I just feel like getting my feelings out there because i have no place to express such feelings in real life.
thank you for anyone who read this.
In my life, I've barely received any forms of interest from others except for 1 friend (who lives in a whole nother state) and my family. I never get calls, texts, or people to check up on me except a grand total of maybe 5 people (four of which are my family). I even feel as if my cousin (F) thinks i'm disgusting as this one time she came to our house for vacation and my little cousin was sitting next to me (i was on the far right of the couch, my little cousin in the middle, and my F cousin on the left) and she was bothering him so he told her im going to make you sit in the middle and move far away and she literally shrieked and said no no wait im sorry ill stop.
Another time is when a few of my friends made this rumor that I liked a girl which i didnt even like her and it spread through all the people i knew and it reached her and her friends and these people constanly bereated me for thinking that i would have a chance or for the fact that i supposedly liked her. Even after i asked for these people who orginated the rumor to stop it and tell the truth that they made it up they just kept laughing.
For these reasons, I can never imagine myself truly having a friend group of some sort or even a romantic love life where the girl actually loves me and doesn't love me if I have money or something else. But forgetting a love life even just a female who shows me some form of attention and compassion beyond my family.
Quite literally the only way i've been able to simulate these feelings of love, attention, or large forms of compassion is by watching fucking romance anime.
The truth is ive attempted 3 times but ive always failed because im too scared to die. I want to live a life where i can obtain these feelings and thats why I havent gone through with it.
I dont really know what to do and sorry for all the negativity I just feel like getting my feelings out there because i have no place to express such feelings in real life.
thank you for anyone who read this.
