143
unfading fate
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2023
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Hello, today I am going to tell you about my experience and the trauma I had with my rapist 1 year ago. I feel that if I don't tell this I will have remorse inside and well, here I go.
I have a lovely partner with whom I have been married for 7 years, we share a house, he has a very good relationship with my parents and in general, I will never leave him, but a year ago I met a guy from my work, who I sincerely hate and wish the worst for the trauma he created in me and I feel dirty and horrible for what he did. It all started with simple compliments, to which I responded politely, since if I have to admit, I found him attractive at first, a statement which I flatly deny right now. Things escalated little by little, and it got to the day where he raped me. I was in the bathroom, and he was in the bathroom across the street, and he realized I was in the toilet because I was talking to my husband, and when I finished the call, he entered my bathroom door without even asking me if he could come in or not, but the fool that I was, I did not deny him access, I was paralyzed because I could not imagine what was happening. When he started doing that to me, it hurt a lot but it gave me a lot of pleasure and I feel guilty and horrified at how my body reacted to that which was, of course, rape. I had feelings I never had with my husband, and after the act he left me lying down and I was still afraid that he would rape me again.
To this day I have not told my husband anything about this because I am afraid of how he will react and I love him very much, and I have not gone to the police station either because I feel guilty that he would do something as horrible as that to me again. To this day I do not understand how my body could react to something as overwhelming as rape.
I have a lovely partner with whom I have been married for 7 years, we share a house, he has a very good relationship with my parents and in general, I will never leave him, but a year ago I met a guy from my work, who I sincerely hate and wish the worst for the trauma he created in me and I feel dirty and horrible for what he did. It all started with simple compliments, to which I responded politely, since if I have to admit, I found him attractive at first, a statement which I flatly deny right now. Things escalated little by little, and it got to the day where he raped me. I was in the bathroom, and he was in the bathroom across the street, and he realized I was in the toilet because I was talking to my husband, and when I finished the call, he entered my bathroom door without even asking me if he could come in or not, but the fool that I was, I did not deny him access, I was paralyzed because I could not imagine what was happening. When he started doing that to me, it hurt a lot but it gave me a lot of pleasure and I feel guilty and horrified at how my body reacted to that which was, of course, rape. I had feelings I never had with my husband, and after the act he left me lying down and I was still afraid that he would rape me again.
To this day I have not told my husband anything about this because I am afraid of how he will react and I love him very much, and I have not gone to the police station either because I feel guilty that he would do something as horrible as that to me again. To this day I do not understand how my body could react to something as overwhelming as rape.
