ChristianChad
Kraken
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2021
- Posts
- 11,720
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My dreams have incredibly vivid the last week and I have always been a very vivid dreamer but they're VERY vivid even to me.
This has never happened to me in a dream (I never able to fight in my dreams) and even in my day to day life I have severe confidence issues in my ability to fight people, despite me being 17 5,7 75 kg with boxing experience, my self hate causes me severe side effects like not seeing myself be able to beat up someone who's a little kid or even kill a grown woman. I pull punches unintentionally, this happened back when I was sparring in boxing, I unintentionally for the life of me couldn't reach the person I was boxing, I think probably was scared/severe confidence issues same as now.
Yesterday I helped my brother move out and it was just a different change of pace to my day and thinking, laughing all day on my feet moving helping good thoughts never touching my pc (side effect of day, literally no time, got up at 7 AM went to sleep at 10 PM not time at all to get on PC, wel I had but I chose to sort my room) confident in my self very little self hate, speaking confidently with a straight back with my shoulders pulled back, looking straight ahead and not crosseyed like I usually do. Very little social anxiety and very happy.
Even hung this plate on my wall
And that night I went to bed and I had this long dream, I was sitting and behind me group of guys and one white Chad grabbed my head and twisted it to them and turned me to his bitch, I got up and punched him and stepped down from the big stairs people sit on and started fighting the other people just laying punches individually against them when they came 1 by 1 behind one another, and I was backsteping but still fought them individually when they got in my distance, they were all 15-20 year old low inhib chads
Just the day before I was literally scared shitless, very worried, suicidal (my situation is bad) , doubting my ability to fight even a 11 year old
Though at least I went to sleep on time that day and got up naturally 3 hours before I originally had to
This has never happened to me in a dream (I never able to fight in my dreams) and even in my day to day life I have severe confidence issues in my ability to fight people, despite me being 17 5,7 75 kg with boxing experience, my self hate causes me severe side effects like not seeing myself be able to beat up someone who's a little kid or even kill a grown woman. I pull punches unintentionally, this happened back when I was sparring in boxing, I unintentionally for the life of me couldn't reach the person I was boxing, I think probably was scared/severe confidence issues same as now.
Yesterday I helped my brother move out and it was just a different change of pace to my day and thinking, laughing all day on my feet moving helping good thoughts never touching my pc (side effect of day, literally no time, got up at 7 AM went to sleep at 10 PM not time at all to get on PC, wel I had but I chose to sort my room) confident in my self very little self hate, speaking confidently with a straight back with my shoulders pulled back, looking straight ahead and not crosseyed like I usually do. Very little social anxiety and very happy.
Even hung this plate on my wall
And that night I went to bed and I had this long dream, I was sitting and behind me group of guys and one white Chad grabbed my head and twisted it to them and turned me to his bitch, I got up and punched him and stepped down from the big stairs people sit on and started fighting the other people just laying punches individually against them when they came 1 by 1 behind one another, and I was backsteping but still fought them individually when they got in my distance, they were all 15-20 year old low inhib chads
Just the day before I was literally scared shitless, very worried, suicidal (my situation is bad) , doubting my ability to fight even a 11 year old
Though at least I went to sleep on time that day and got up naturally 3 hours before I originally had to
