D
Deleted member 19317
Lurker
I was always chasing goals, chasing people, chasing new experiences, new things.
I did it all slowly. Like I lost my virginity, did a bit of "slaying" (it's really not that hard just be slightly above average and keep trying, happens to normies all the time).
I chased so many things, I thought social groups would make me happy. In the end I just had a bunch of boring normies that I couldn't wait to get away from so I could go back to being by myself.
Tried girls too but couldn't find one that wasn't totally fucking retarded and liberal or just a whore or boring. The sex wasn't enough eventually too to justify the effort of dates and all that so I just ended it.
In the end I just work my boring job. And I'm forced with co workers to get dinner sometimes just to get home with my job since we travel and share a government vehicle that's rented. I just want to get back to the hotel but they want dinner. They just talk about meaningless bullshit and I legit rope inside while they talk. Thinking "do we really even like eachother, why are we even talking, it's obvious this is such an artificial little conversation, none of us even want to be here".
I legit realized these people, they are older than me, they have functioned in society now, for how long? And fucking why? It's so pointless. Everyone in society is dead inside, doing meaningless bullshit that doesn't even fucking matter. Half the men are incel. The women are ALL whores. Just lol. How is this an advancement of society it literally does not, cannot, and literally never will fucking work. Society will never be an enjoyable place to live unless you fucking mog. And I don't. Which is why I'm getting surgery.
But today I went over the edge. I realized all of this shit, it's so fucking pointless. And tomorrow, tomorrow I do the same thing, just more meaningless bullshit. I'm over it.
I did it all slowly. Like I lost my virginity, did a bit of "slaying" (it's really not that hard just be slightly above average and keep trying, happens to normies all the time).
I chased so many things, I thought social groups would make me happy. In the end I just had a bunch of boring normies that I couldn't wait to get away from so I could go back to being by myself.
Tried girls too but couldn't find one that wasn't totally fucking retarded and liberal or just a whore or boring. The sex wasn't enough eventually too to justify the effort of dates and all that so I just ended it.
In the end I just work my boring job. And I'm forced with co workers to get dinner sometimes just to get home with my job since we travel and share a government vehicle that's rented. I just want to get back to the hotel but they want dinner. They just talk about meaningless bullshit and I legit rope inside while they talk. Thinking "do we really even like eachother, why are we even talking, it's obvious this is such an artificial little conversation, none of us even want to be here".
I legit realized these people, they are older than me, they have functioned in society now, for how long? And fucking why? It's so pointless. Everyone in society is dead inside, doing meaningless bullshit that doesn't even fucking matter. Half the men are incel. The women are ALL whores. Just lol. How is this an advancement of society it literally does not, cannot, and literally never will fucking work. Society will never be an enjoyable place to live unless you fucking mog. And I don't. Which is why I'm getting surgery.
But today I went over the edge. I realized all of this shit, it's so fucking pointless. And tomorrow, tomorrow I do the same thing, just more meaningless bullshit. I'm over it.
