I find joy in hating myself

[Birdcell]

The more I convince myself that I'm just an invisible normie and that my gf left me because of my looks and now is crying over some htn , the more depressed I get. But lately I discovered some joy and happiness in this unhappiness: It gets to some point where I just simply do not care about my looks and how people perceive me at all and just concentrate at my studying. Sadly this lasts only for a day or two and then I'm again this nt hyperactive pretending social butterfly. Damn I miss my blackpill depression phase from 2020-2022. Do you find joy in self hating yourself ? Knowing that never ever will a woman truly desire you in some animalistic very primal way ,that this is reserved only for good looking guys which you will never ever be , so won't I. Good night

 

[Birdcell]

It makes my delusions vanish and hopes crash , I get this very heavy feeling in my chest . I get so depressed , I convince myself I'm not worthy of even looking into the eyes of women. I absolutely love this feeling

 

[Deleted member 16275]

If you feel worthless to women, there are 10000s of people who feel more worthless than you cus they've never had a fkn gf

 

[Birdcell]

Yes , this is definitely over. I know guys that every single one of you has worries , and it's very egoistical to assume from me , that you'll forget your pain for couple of minutes to see mine , but yet somehow , not getting any replies, reminds me of the reality even more . I'm truly happy rn , although it doesn't matter in the end , you can't blame women , you can't blame anyone , such is life or such is the matter of things and the matter of things is not in your power to control.

 

[Birdcell]

If you feel worthless to women, there are 10000s of people who feel more worthless than you cus they've never had a fkn gf

My gf wouldn't have left if she really did find me attractive , I never believed her when she told me that

 

[Birdcell]

If you feel worthless to women, there are 10000s of people who feel more worthless than you cus they've never had a fkn gf

They're on the same page as me : you can instantly see , who is in advantage because of their appearance. For dating women , being 5/10 or 4/10 makes 0 difference

 

[andy9432]

Try to be me, 29 years old, example, just matched with a 26 yo roastie who was solid htb in her prime. Now a chubby LTB. I am automatically filtered out of prime white JBS due to age. I cant even fraud my age because i have a solid five o clock shadow.

 

[Birdcell]

If you feel worthless to women, there are 10000s of people who feel more worthless than you cus they've never had a fkn gf

She was the one who invited me on a date and initiated this shit , it doesn't count as a gf. It wasn't my work

 

[Birdcell]

Try to be me, 29 years old, example, just matched with a 26 yo roastie who was solid htb in her prime. Now a chubby LTB. I am automatically filtered out of prime white JBS due to age. I cant even fraud my age because i have a solid five o clock shadow.

How come is 29 years a bad age ? It's all about the physical appearance

 

[andy9432]

How come is 29 years a bad age ? It's all about the physical appearance

29 is old if u want the hottest girls. They are all finished by mid 20s.

 

[Birdcell]

29 is old if u want the hottest girls. They are all finished by mid 20s.

I'm 20 years old , that's suifuel.

 

[andy9432]

I'm 20 years old , that's suifuel.

ur supposed to be in ur prime right now. Dont do the mistake i did, i was fat for 26 years. By then it is too late.

 

[Birdcell]

ur supposed to be in ur prime right now. Dont do the mistake i did, i was fat for 26 years. By then it is too late.

It's genetically determined , I'm ltn/mtn rn , the maximum I can get is HTN with surgeries and gym. But even then , I'm missing out on RAW SEXUAL ATTRACTION , the attraction where they fantasize, dream about you , get wet after hanging out with you , do the first steps , do flirting , remember you as hottest guy they even had . THIS is what I'm talking about , and THIS what you will never ever experience if you weren't meant to. I weren't and never will , gym and surgeries are all cope for me. I think it's pretty obvious message I have

 

[Primalsplit]

. I'm truly happy rn , although it doesn't matter in the end , you can't blame women , you can't blame anyone , such is life or such is the matter of things and the matter of things is not in your power to control.

What a cuck thing to say. Lmao. You should be angry at the world and attempt to control others. Fucking slave minded loser.

 

[Birdcell]

What a cuck thing to say. Lmao. You should be angry at the world and attempt to control others. Fucking slave minded loser.

Nobody is trying to control

 

[Primalsplit]

Nobody is trying to control

You will lose.

 

[Deleted member 14693]

Nope, sounds like severe mental illness

 

[Birdcell]

Nope, sounds like severe mental illness

Hmm

 

[It'snotover]

Sounds like you're high rn

 

[Birdcell]

Sounds like you're high rn

Not anymore bro , I left all this shit 3 weeks ago : it was a lot , crack , heroin other opioids , ketamine and amphetamines. Never injected but mostly smoked.or snorted , thankfully I'm clean now

 

[It'snotover]

Not anymore bro , I left all this shit 3 weeks ago : it was a lot , crack , heroin other opioids , ketamine and amphetamines. Never injected but mostly smoked.or snorted , thankfully I'm clean now

Why did you abuse drugs man? They are not healthy and will kill your mind in the long run, just ldar if ur depressed until this point.

 

[Birdcell]

Why did you abuse drugs man? They are not healthy and will kill your mind in the long run, just ldar if ur depressed until this point.

Well they made me very nt (cocaine and amphetamines) , others made me forget worries and anxiety (opioids and benzodiazapines like alprozalam) and dissoactives like ketamine made me feel like am out of body or in a dream state , completely forgetting my issues on earth. But I stopped because I was falling into crack addiction (actually was) and it was very expensive and super nasty on my heart and couldn't be normaly sober. Actually all those ex junkies friends are impressed how I just left crack and heroine after spending 3000-4000€ in those 3 months , but I think it's just my stoic mind . I'm very glad being clean now

 

[Deleted member 22918]

Well they made me very nt (cocaine and amphetamines) , others made me forget worries and anxiety (opioids and benzodiazapines like alprozalam) and dissoactives like ketamine made me feel like am out of body or in a dream state , completely forgetting my issues on earth. But I stopped because I was falling into crack addiction (actually was) and it was very expensive and super nasty on my heart and couldn't be normaly sober. Actually all those ex junkies friends are impressed how I just left crack and heroine after spending 3000-4000€ in those 3 months , but I think it's just my stoic mind . I'm very glad being clean now

Gz bro

 

[Birdcell]

Gz bro

Thank you

 

[It'snotover]

Well they made me very nt (cocaine and amphetamines) , others made me forget worries and anxiety (opioids and benzodiazapines like alprozalam) and dissoactives like ketamine made me feel like am out of body or in a dream state , completely forgetting my issues on earth. But I stopped because I was falling into crack addiction (actually was) and it was very expensive and super nasty on my heart and couldn't be normaly sober. Actually all those ex junkies friends are impressed how I just left crack and heroine after spending 3000-4000€ in those 3 months , but I think it's just my stoic mind . I'm very glad being clean now

Damn bro that's tough, it's stupid to get drugs to become more nt because in one way or another they'll turn you into an addict which will ruin your heart, brain and liver health and will take a lot of money too. You'd need to change your mindset to being nt not taking drugs. I heard LSD is good too to forget your issue on earth and feeling out of your body and it's not that bad for health, have you tried it? I can't blame you, every sub chads needs some cope but i'm glad you stopped. Damn i thought u left the site because you ascended, brutal

 

[Birdcell]

Damn bro that's tough, it's stupid to get drugs to become more nt because in one way or another they'll turn you into an addict which will ruin your heart, brain and liver health and will take a lot of money too. You'd need to change your mindset to being nt not taking drugs. I heard LSD is good too to forget your issue on earth and feeling out of your body and it's not that bad for health, have you tried it? I can't blame you, every sub chads needs some cope but i'm glad you stopped. Damn i thought u left the site because you ascended, brutal

Yes I did try LSD but it can be very mental health damaging if you catch bad trip , but yes LSD + music is good to forget your presence. Thank you bro