I fucked my ex-girlfriend's family couch

[Punjabi Waffen]

Many years ago my then GF and I were visiting her family for the holidays. One day my GF and her mom went out shopping and I was left at the house. I was bored/horny and sitting on their couch watching TV. I for whatever reason stuck my finger in between the cushions and I knew, somehow, some way I was gonna fuck this couch.

I sat there for awhile thinking about the logistics of it. It was tight yes, but the texture was rough. And what about clean up? I wasn't gonna raw dog this couch and just leave my mess in it. I was racking my brain trying to find a good way to do this. I could have just jerked off but all my brain blood was elsewhere and I wasn't thinking straight.

After a few more mins I finally had my plan. I got a Ziploc bag, squirt a shit ton of lotion in it, slid it between the cushions and went to town on that couch. It was glorious. Easy clean up and my dick smelled fantastic.

My ex and her mom came home and had no idea. As far as I know they still sit on that slut of a couch to this day.

 

[Seven]

very NT

 

[cursed4channer]

kinda shit niggas do on dmt

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Many years ago my then GF and I were visiting her family for the holidays. One day my GF and her mom went out shopping

Oh, is that what they told you?

 

[Punjabi Waffen]

Oh, is that what they told you?

No, i have a tracking device set on them.
im scared that they were set by the F*ds (cant say the name or they will knoe the exact person to track and shoot) i have a 360⁰ view of what they see, i view them 24/7.

 

[velwetyy]

Folded under zero pressure

 

[Punjabi Waffen]

Folded under zero pressure

uhhh

 

[Punjabi Waffen]

b

 

[JOTAROSON]

Много лет назад мы с моей тогдашней девушкой гостили у её семьи на праздники. Однажды моя девушка и её мама ушли за покупками, а я остался дома. Мне было скучно/возбужденно, и я сидел на их диване, смотрел телевизор. По какой-то причине я засунул палец между подушками и понял, что так или иначе я пересплю с этим диваном.

Я сидел там какое-то время, размышляя о логистике. Да, было тесно, но текстура была грубой. А как насчет уборки? Я же не собирался заниматься сексом на этом диване без презерватива и просто оставлять там свой беспорядок. Я ломал голову, пытаясь придумать хороший способ это сделать. Я мог бы просто подрочить, но вся кровь в моем мозгу была направлена в другое место, и я не соображал.

Спустя ещё несколько минут у меня наконец-то появился план. Я взял пакет с застёжкой-молнией, выдавил в него кучу лосьона, просунул его между подушками и принялся за дело на диване. Это было великолепно. Легко отмылось, и мой член пах фантастически.

Моя бывшая и её мама вернулись домой и ничего не заметили. Насколько я знаю, они до сих пор сидят на этом ужасном диване.

Nigga, that is, in theory, some bastard could have gotten down on my couch in the same way

 

[AustrianMogger]

Many years ago my then GF and I were visiting her family for the holidays. One day my GF and her mom went out shopping and I was left at the house. I was bored/horny and sitting on their couch watching TV. I for whatever reason stuck my finger in between the cushions and I knew, somehow, some way I was gonna fuck this couch.

I sat there for awhile thinking about the logistics of it. It was tight yes, but the texture was rough. And what about clean up? I wasn't gonna raw dog this couch and just leave my mess in it. I was racking my brain trying to find a good way to do this. I could have just jerked off but all my brain blood was elsewhere and I wasn't thinking straight.

After a few more mins I finally had my plan. I got a Ziploc bag, squirt a shit ton of lotion in it, slid it between the cushions and went to town on that couch. It was glorious. Easy clean up and my dick smelled fantastic.

My ex and her mom came home and had no idea. As far as I know they still sit on that slut of a couch to this day.

 

[Punjabi Waffen]

Nigga, that is, in theory, some bastard could have gotten down on my couch in the same way

you have a sister?

 

[JOTAROSON]

you have a sister?

Yes