I fucked up. I FUCKED UP! Dammit. I'm so stoopid!!!

BigJimsWornOutTires

BigJimsWornOutTires

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So there are these gnats in my area. I'm an immaculate man. I keep my penis washed and polished. Yes! I polish it. Wouldn't you for a magnificent shaft of beautiful craftsmanship? But it seems these particular gnats are out to get me. Yes, feds! I'm now paranoid. So I went ahead and did the UNTHINKABLE—gluey sticks. Rolls of Sticky Fly Trap Paper Yellow Fruit Flies Insect Glue Catchers. But I couldn't get the motherfuckers in the right position! So I ended up TOUCHING THE TAPE! Snappers.

So here I am with sticky fingers. I've tried soap, rubbing alcohol, and toothpaste but not fingernail polish remover because I'm not a faggot. You wouldn't catch me dead putting that shit on any part of my masculine 'gift for women' body.

Luckily, as I was typing this, I noticed something out of the ordinary—my fingers aren't sticking to the keys. They're dry! False alarm.


celebrate hell yeah GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine


But there's a gnat still taunting me.


Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office
 
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Reactions: ChristianChad and Deleted member 15004
So there are these gnats in my area. I'm an immaculate man. I keep my penis washed and polished. Yes! I polish it. Wouldn't you for a magnificent shaft of beautiful craftsmanship? But it seems these particular gnats are out to get me. Yes, feds! I'm now paranoid. So I went ahead and did the UNTHINKABLE—gluey sticks. Rolls of Sticky Fly Trap Paper Yellow Fruit Flies Insect Glue Catchers. But I couldn't get the motherfuckers in the right position! So I ended up TOUCHING THE TAPE! Snappers.

So here I am with sticky fingers. I've tried soap, rubbing alcohol, and toothpaste but not fingernail polish remover because I'm not a faggot. You wouldn't catch me dead putting that shit on any part of my masculine 'gift for women' body.

Luckily, as I was typing this, I noticed something out of the ordinary—my fingers aren't sticking to the keys. They're dry! False alarm.


celebrate hell yeah GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine


But there's a gnat still taunting me.

Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office
You should be an author, Jimmy boy :feelsgood:
 
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I'm blacklisted from Earth. Forbidden ever to taste success. Are you an author?
I was an author during the '70s, Wrote a lot of very popular stuff, got famous in the local trailer park too. Then the feds broke down my door to look for the crack that I dealt part-time. Ugh. They broke my hand when that happened and banged my head too hard. Ugh. Now I have permanent writer's block. What a terrible terrible thing.
 
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I was an author during the '70s, Wrote a lot of very popular stuff, got famous in the local trailer park too. Then the feds broke down my door to look for the crack that I dealt part-time. Ugh. They broke my hand when that happened and banged my head too hard. Ugh. Now I have permanent writer's block. What a terrible terrible thing.
You can pull yourself back up. Like a roastie pulling her draws back up then massaging her vagina and saying to me, "You really fucked this up. I can feel the inside just by rubbing it! Jim, you punched a deep hole in my promotion apparatus. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. You fucked me good. Thanks, buddy."
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 15004 and ChristianChad
happens to me aswell with another substance I Dont know what the fuck to do. i ruined a pot because of this shit
 
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