I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO FORMULATE MY THOUGHTS

[vision_n]

i know i am educated on a lot of topics, but somehow i can't formulate my thoughts into sentences and just freeze mid sentence

i want to contribute, i dont want to consume content all my life, i look at other creators and i envy them


from music to simple tiktok edits, I WANT TO DO IT TOO TO GET LIKES AND RECOGNITION

FUCKKK MY HIGH INHIB LIFE, WHEN I START SOMETHING I TELL MYSELF IT SHOULD BE FUCKING PERFECT, AND IN THE END I JUST GO DOWN THE RABBITHOLE AND I JUST LOSE THE TRACK OF MY PROGRESSS


I FUCKING HATE MYSELF

 

[vision_n]

IM NOT A LOSER I ACCOMPLISHED A LOT IN MY SHORT LIFE SPAN

I WAS GRINDING SINCE THE AGE OF 4, BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING GOES DOWN, LIKE I REACHED THE MOST MIDDEST PLATEU EVREYWHERE, for example piano


i know, if i need to pursue my piano skills to get to a prodigy level, i need to give everything up and just play this fucking instrument for 4 hours a day MINIMUM


i take the very difficult pieces, and then i BLAME myself for not being able to play them

 

[striker7880]

contribute then holy shit

 

[vision_n]

god i need some testosterone propionate just a little bit, i start feeling like dogshit after gooning

i need some lifefuel and uhsdfhsfsd libido, i need and WANT TO FEEL ANGER AND HATRED

 

[vision_n]

contribute then holy shit

are you fuckign kidding me

 

[striker7880]

are you fuckign kidding me

It cant be that hard lmao

 

[autisticular]

Why do you need to formulate a sentence. If you so talented and shit, just let ur actions speak for you bro. Let the piano speak for you. Truly talented people don’t have to formulate shit to contribute, they just do.

 

[vision_n]

Why do you need to formulate a sentence. If you so talented and shit, just let ur actions speak for you bro. Let the piano speak for you. Truly talented people don’t have to formulate shit to contribute, they just do.

the thing is i stopped contributing, cuz im a lazy person

i js need get back to doing all the shit like 10 years ago

 

[Aox Ofwar]

i know i am educated on a lot of topics, but somehow i can't formulate my thoughts into sentences and just freeze mid sentence

i want to contribute, i dont want to consume content all my life, i look at other creators and i envy them


from music to simple tiktok edits, I WANT TO DO IT TOO TO GET LIKES AND RECOGNITION

FUCKKK MY HIGH INHIB LIFE, WHEN I START SOMETHING I TELL MYSELF IT SHOULD BE FUCKING PERFECT, AND IN THE END I JUST GO DOWN THE RABBITHOLE AND I JUST LOSE THE TRACK OF MY PROGRESSS


I FUCKING HATE MYSELF

Don't worry about stupid shit like that bro

 

[vision_n]

i feel like if there were no school i'd just literally rot at home

blackpill ideology is the only thing that motivates to accomplish stuff, im a materialistic grook

 

[autisticular]

Why did you quit in the first place. That’s the thing you really need to think about. What was the reason you were able to grind 10 years back but not now???

 

[vision_n]

Why did you quit in the first place. That’s the thing you really need to think about. What was the reason you were able to grind 10 years back but not now???

i was just pushed by my parents, i used to be a "gifted" one who didnt need to even try to be #1

now at my age theres more competition, more geniuses, more "one of a kind" etc

 

[autisticular]

i was just pushed by my parents, i used to be a "gifted" one who didnt need to even try to be #1

now at my age theres more competition, more geniuses, more "one of a kind" etc

That just means you don’t have true self discipline. Honestly what you need is to read this book and get ur mental better ngl. https://kyl.neocities.org/books/[SOC BRO] bronze age mindset.pdf

 

[vision_n]

That just means you don’t have true self discipline. Honestly what you need is to read this book and get ur mental better ngl. https://kyl.neocities.org/books/[SOC BRO] bronze age mindset.pdf

going to the gym in hope "to build discipline" failed miserably. 8months in and its just a part of the routine, i lost the feeling of the discipline if it makes sense, cant really explain it