I got a girlfriend then left her. My experience with teen love

[FunkyFlamingo]

We did bf gf things. For example I took her to a bday dinner. It was really good. Wings and shit. She took me to one too. It was the first time I let her pay for me in our 1 year long relationship cause she forced me into the car without telling me we were going to go to a restaurant so make sure I can’t pay.

We watched a movie during Christmas together at her coach cuddled up in a blanket

Slept in the same bed a hundred times. With her in between my arms.

Came inside her hundreds of times

Bought her gifts

Sneaked her into my dorm

Argued then made up for it

Kissed and looked at each other for hours

Talked about random shit

Walked to a gas station to get junk then came home and watched a movie

Went to the town center to go thrifting

Her mom would drive us places to run errands. I kinda felt like a part of a family. It was very interesting

I was like her little sisters brother. Her little sister is the same age as my little sister but born 1 day after her.

The feeling I had with her was extreme. It felt almost like a drug, maybe like ADHD medication that calms the mind and stops you from thinking. I felt empty with her, but not in a bad way. I would be very quiet. It felt nice in a way. That quietness would last for after I left too, until I got back home. But it would be there for a few hours even without her. That was weird

The way I’d go see her is by train. I’d take a train from Cambridge to Ipswich every Friday and comeback on a Sunday morning. The feeling of every Friday night was the exact same. Excitement, boredom on the train. But an interesting feeling of quietness and tranquility. When I met her the room would be dark with a very calming warm light, an amazing smell and a cozy feel. She would wait for me on the bed and I’d come in. We wouldn’t say much. Just hold each other tight. Next we would start touching each other then if fuck her. Then we would talk and hold each other then fuck again. Maybe 2-3 more times until we slept. When we woke up w would have a calm morning. I’d go make myself breakfast. It was eggs with butter, a banana. Maybe a toast with peanut butter and jam. All with honey. She needdd much more sleep. She had so many issues. Fatigue she called it. She would sleep till 12 but I’d be up at 9 eating my breakfast enjoying that cool yet sunny Ipswich weather. Oh the memories.

Later on we would go outside. Possibly to town. Eat something. Do one of the other things I said

Come back and fuck a lot

Hold each other a lot

Watch something

Sleep while holding each other

All these experiences don’t feel like I was the one doing them. I feel like it was someone else and I’m not the same person I used to be. Even though I know I think the similarly I don’t feel like that was me

Not that I’ve changed a lot. Maybe physically, but my personality is similar. So what happened? Why do these faint memories feel like someone else

I’ve never been able to connect with a girl after her. I don’t still love her. It’s not like I am still attached to her. First I lost my love for her then left her. Maybe I lost my love for women.

teenage love pill is a hard one to swallow, *pause* but if you didnt fall in love with someone under the age of 18 you wont be their first anything. and the first one has the highest waves of emotions. beautifully written, reminds me of my oneitis that I got over after gymcelling