D
Deleted member 5815
all fictional scenarios and social experiment
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Few hours back I got raped, and everything is hurting. My thighs are cramping up, I'm bleeding without being on my period, my ovaries hurt a lot as well. I don't know if this is normal but I'll go make an appointment anyway. I feel really dumb. I should've trusted my gut feeling, it already told me something was off. I trusted him.
It started out nice but then he deceived me. He said we were gonna watch a movie and I wanted to, but apparently our definitions were different. He rolled on top of me and I just let it happen, I was too startled to do otherwise. He started kissing me, with his tongue and then he took off my clothes and stuff. I think he took my shock for want? I don't know it all just overcame me.
I asked him to stop but he just wanted to only rub his dick against me, and since he kept begging I was like 'alright fine.' Again, I was too startled to just say no, but this would change. 'Cause rubbing turns into trying to penetrate into me. He was already half-hard at this point, and I asked him to stop and flinched away from him many times. Every time he tried getting in I told him it hurted and he needed to stop.
I then froze up when he actually breached further and I thought to myself I didnt want this. Since I was facing away from him, my hair in my face, I started sniffing, but I'm a big girl now, so I just thought to myself, "how can I say no clearly without him getting mad?" Anyway, he tried opening me and it was dry and I was stressed and I just wanted him to stop.
Every time I asked him he just kept going and pushed further and I kept flinching and he kept pulling me back and I hated it.
It got worse when he actually eventually went in, it hurt so much I started crying and pulling away and he kept asking for 10 seconds more bc he was almost finished. I told him no, and he kept begging. I asked to stop, but he didn't want to. When it was 1 PM, I said I had to meet my dad's gf but he just kept pulling me back and kept saying he was really close. He wouldn't let me leave, and after a few moments of me arguing so I could catch a break, he then said 'alright let me just use your ass then,' so I thought no more penetration. But he broke his promisr again and just breached me again.
I tried sitting it out but it just felt so wrong i just started full on crying. Only then he stopped, gave me some water and I left.
It doesn't sound all that bad now that I type it out but when I went to the toilet I was bleeding and it still hurts. Its been 12 hours at this point. It wasn't violent at least, so thats good, but why didnt I just trust my gut?? I just went with the mentality "it won't happen to me" when reading those things online since i'm not all that attractive and all. But it did and i feel so stupid since i normally listen to my gut feeling.
I didnt visibly struggle, i just let it happen and kept crying and thinking 'wtf is happening' while he was busy using my body. I'm just only 18 years old and while i was a virgin up until today, i still know it felt so wrong and i just let it happen. I just let it happen. I dont know what to do anymore. He kept saying "alright ill do this" and just did another thing.
First the movie, then its a blur up until he then wanted to just rub against me, then just kept wanting to try despite me crying out that it hurted and i wanted to stop. Then just another 10 seconds, but penetrating and settling in deep didnt count, and then he'd stop if i told him it hurted too much, all those lies. The only thing that helped was me full blown crying and him panicking from that.
He kept throwing it on me being a virgin but i swear it isnt supposed to hurt that much right? I dont know. Typing it out helps a lot, but i cant help but feel dumb. If you read this entire rant, sorry, i just needed to vent my thoughts and the events, and this seemed the right place to do so.
It started out nice but then he deceived me. He said we were gonna watch a movie and I wanted to, but apparently our definitions were different. He rolled on top of me and I just let it happen, I was too startled to do otherwise. He started kissing me, with his tongue and then he took off my clothes and stuff. I think he took my shock for want? I don't know it all just overcame me.
I asked him to stop but he just wanted to only rub his dick against me, and since he kept begging I was like 'alright fine.' Again, I was too startled to just say no, but this would change. 'Cause rubbing turns into trying to penetrate into me. He was already half-hard at this point, and I asked him to stop and flinched away from him many times. Every time he tried getting in I told him it hurted and he needed to stop.
I then froze up when he actually breached further and I thought to myself I didnt want this. Since I was facing away from him, my hair in my face, I started sniffing, but I'm a big girl now, so I just thought to myself, "how can I say no clearly without him getting mad?" Anyway, he tried opening me and it was dry and I was stressed and I just wanted him to stop.
Every time I asked him he just kept going and pushed further and I kept flinching and he kept pulling me back and I hated it.
It got worse when he actually eventually went in, it hurt so much I started crying and pulling away and he kept asking for 10 seconds more bc he was almost finished. I told him no, and he kept begging. I asked to stop, but he didn't want to. When it was 1 PM, I said I had to meet my dad's gf but he just kept pulling me back and kept saying he was really close. He wouldn't let me leave, and after a few moments of me arguing so I could catch a break, he then said 'alright let me just use your ass then,' so I thought no more penetration. But he broke his promisr again and just breached me again.
I tried sitting it out but it just felt so wrong i just started full on crying. Only then he stopped, gave me some water and I left.
It doesn't sound all that bad now that I type it out but when I went to the toilet I was bleeding and it still hurts. Its been 12 hours at this point. It wasn't violent at least, so thats good, but why didnt I just trust my gut?? I just went with the mentality "it won't happen to me" when reading those things online since i'm not all that attractive and all. But it did and i feel so stupid since i normally listen to my gut feeling.
I didnt visibly struggle, i just let it happen and kept crying and thinking 'wtf is happening' while he was busy using my body. I'm just only 18 years old and while i was a virgin up until today, i still know it felt so wrong and i just let it happen. I just let it happen. I dont know what to do anymore. He kept saying "alright ill do this" and just did another thing.
First the movie, then its a blur up until he then wanted to just rub against me, then just kept wanting to try despite me crying out that it hurted and i wanted to stop. Then just another 10 seconds, but penetrating and settling in deep didnt count, and then he'd stop if i told him it hurted too much, all those lies. The only thing that helped was me full blown crying and him panicking from that.
He kept throwing it on me being a virgin but i swear it isnt supposed to hurt that much right? I dont know. Typing it out helps a lot, but i cant help but feel dumb. If you read this entire rant, sorry, i just needed to vent my thoughts and the events, and this seemed the right place to do so.
