alien
Kraken
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
- Posts
- 4,358
- Reputation
- 4,717
I'm happy that I chose to do a video call. Because she read my body language during the session and made some very good observations about my body language. Like the nervous laughter. She agrees with me that texting is bullshit. Text is only 7% of communication. That its important for people to interact IRL. She's very old school. In her 50s+. She says that I need IRL interaction or else I'm going to continue to decay.
She told me to stop beating myself over the head with my PSL ex. She said that while my behaviour was unacceptable in the past, it's not cool for my ex to be stalking me 6 years later (she's not a member here since looksmax bans foids. But she found my reddit account 3 years ago and was stalking me. She blew up at me on reddit 7 weeks ago). Says my ex has her own shit she needs to deal with. She says that it does sound like my ex has Borderline Personality Disorder as I suspected. She said that I shouldn't be dating a suspected untreated Borderline who isn't also in therapy herself. She says that our relationship sounds like Fatal Attraction. And tasked me to go watch the movie as homework.
She told me to go out with a friend this weekend. So I decided to text again with my friend Chad. Hopefully we'll hang out this weekend. Just two good looking dudes out having a good time is what I need. He mogs me because he's taller though. But I feel like I need to go out and be social. My therapist said to even talk to girls while there at the bar with a friend. She is old school. What do you guys think about approaching women at bars? Is this a generational thing? I get the sense that in our generation, approaching strangers is creepy in 2022.
She also encouraged me to go to the park to enjoy the sun and be with nature. And to approach people in parks, man or woman, any age and just strike up conversation. I worry that's also creepy in 2022. What do ya'll think about that?
She likes that I am lifting weights at home with the dumb bells I bought prior to the pandemic and wants me to continue that routine. Dumb bells are so expensive now post-pandemic though so I might get a gym membership. Because I think the 15lb dumb bells don't offer enough resistance. I may need to up my resistance. Probably cheaper to pay a monthly fee at the gym than having to continue to buy new dumb bells whenever I get stronger.
She says that anxiety rules my world. She says that whenever I insulted my ex in the past, it was due to my anxiety. Whenever I snapped at my dad, it was anxiety. When I had an autistic melt down at work and lost my job, it was anxiety. She says I need to go get my anxiety under control. When I hit a certain threshold, I have to remove myself from the situation and de-compress listening to music, drink water, breathe deeply, count, going to the park, something to calm me down.
Says I need to mentally prepare before interacting with my dad. Because he is a trigger for me. Says if I am at a certain anxiety threshold, I need to remove myself from the situation with him. But says that I shouldn't avoid him either since we live under the same roof so it's kinda impossible to distance myself from him. Because if I avoid him completely, the anxiety will get even worse.
She said avoid caffeine after 2pm. That means no late-night energy drinks. Its bad for anxiety. I haven't had caffeine after 2pm in a very long time admittedly. But this is good to know.
She wants me on a proper sleep schedule. She says that you have to wake up with the sun and be in bed during the night. Currently I tend to go to bed at 4:30AM+ and wake up whenever I wake up. She says I live like a vampire. lol. Last night I fell asleep after 6AM and woke up at 10 AM. rofl. 4 hour sleep. But I don't feel tired. I haven't been sleeping much lately and been feeling wired. Before my ex chewed me out, I was sleeping 10+ hours a day and feeling lethargic.
Said to pay attention to what calms me down and write it down. And to journal every single anxiety event and rate it from 1 to 10. She says to pay attention to my symptoms when I am anxious and write them down in my journal.
She encouraged me to ask out some of my matches on Tinder on a coffee date. I have 5 matches on my free account. I plan on upgrading to Tinder Platinum with the 1 year discount soon when my bank transfer to my prepaid visa gets settled. I'm going to purchase Bumble Premium lifetime membership soon as lifetime is only $50 CAD more than the 6 month membership ($200 vs $150 CAD). I want to go hard with this dating thing. I really want to find love. I'm never going to get over my ex until I find love again. I can't stop thinking about her warm, moist, tight brown sugar walls and the way she'd make me feel when we'd cuddle and how she'd moan in pain from my girthy cock. I need another hot gf or else I'll never get over her. My last gf was a 2/10 noodlewhore that I settled for and I was unhappy. She just fed my ego telling me how my cock was the biggest she had and I was the best fuck she had and so handsome.
She agrees with me that a dinner date or even a bar date is too much for the first date. I complained that some women would use me for free meals and drinks in the past, free rides. This is why I have been hesitant to ask women out recently on apps if they don't seem all that interested in me. And she agrees with me that I shouldn't have to spend money on dinner, drinks when I haven't even forged a connection with someone first. She says ask them out for coffee or something low investment like that. And if they're not cool with it, then don't ask them out.
She says that I hold my ex in a pedestal in my mind and that I need to just go out there and date. She understands why I got sucked into a Borderline's world. I formed an intellectual and emotional connection with her because we met off sluthate, she was attractive, the sex was amazing.
I'm getting up there in age. Mid-late 30s. I don't have much youth left. I feel like I need to shoot my shot now before I get old (looksmax already thinks I'm old. But I do look youthful for my age). And I like how she is pushing me to take action. I feel like she gets me. She knows that I have been rotting away for years and that I shouldn't be wasting more time.
I did feel worse after my last incelexit thread. I believe that the liberal redditors do not have the best interests at heart of incels and black pillers. They just want to put us down and make us worse tbh. Liberals think in terms of black and white, good vs evil, orcs vs humans. They have us pegged as the baddies rather than understanding us as fully fledged humans. But the therapist made me feel a lot better. She has 7 years experience. She really cuts to the chase. She knows her shit. She knows how to ask all the right questions to get to the bottom of things quickly. I had all these notes prepared for just my ex alone and wondered if 45 minutes would be enough. And she was able to have the relationship all figured out in minutes by asking strategic questions. She totally understood what went on. Autistic dude with social anxiety gets sucked into a Borderline's world. Maybe she's seen this before.
I'm going to try in vain to fix my sleep schedule today. lol. I need to get my sleep schedule under control before our session next week. I think I'm going to give Bumble BFF a shot to try to find a new friend. My Chad friend just asked me if I'd go over technical analysis for trading/crypto in-person with him. So maybe we'll talk about that over drinks at a bar or something. And then I gotta push myself to go talk to a girl at the bar. I gotta do it. We gonna make it.
She told me to stop beating myself over the head with my PSL ex. She said that while my behaviour was unacceptable in the past, it's not cool for my ex to be stalking me 6 years later (she's not a member here since looksmax bans foids. But she found my reddit account 3 years ago and was stalking me. She blew up at me on reddit 7 weeks ago). Says my ex has her own shit she needs to deal with. She says that it does sound like my ex has Borderline Personality Disorder as I suspected. She said that I shouldn't be dating a suspected untreated Borderline who isn't also in therapy herself. She says that our relationship sounds like Fatal Attraction. And tasked me to go watch the movie as homework.
She told me to go out with a friend this weekend. So I decided to text again with my friend Chad. Hopefully we'll hang out this weekend. Just two good looking dudes out having a good time is what I need. He mogs me because he's taller though. But I feel like I need to go out and be social. My therapist said to even talk to girls while there at the bar with a friend. She is old school. What do you guys think about approaching women at bars? Is this a generational thing? I get the sense that in our generation, approaching strangers is creepy in 2022.
She also encouraged me to go to the park to enjoy the sun and be with nature. And to approach people in parks, man or woman, any age and just strike up conversation. I worry that's also creepy in 2022. What do ya'll think about that?
She likes that I am lifting weights at home with the dumb bells I bought prior to the pandemic and wants me to continue that routine. Dumb bells are so expensive now post-pandemic though so I might get a gym membership. Because I think the 15lb dumb bells don't offer enough resistance. I may need to up my resistance. Probably cheaper to pay a monthly fee at the gym than having to continue to buy new dumb bells whenever I get stronger.
She says that anxiety rules my world. She says that whenever I insulted my ex in the past, it was due to my anxiety. Whenever I snapped at my dad, it was anxiety. When I had an autistic melt down at work and lost my job, it was anxiety. She says I need to go get my anxiety under control. When I hit a certain threshold, I have to remove myself from the situation and de-compress listening to music, drink water, breathe deeply, count, going to the park, something to calm me down.
Says I need to mentally prepare before interacting with my dad. Because he is a trigger for me. Says if I am at a certain anxiety threshold, I need to remove myself from the situation with him. But says that I shouldn't avoid him either since we live under the same roof so it's kinda impossible to distance myself from him. Because if I avoid him completely, the anxiety will get even worse.
She said avoid caffeine after 2pm. That means no late-night energy drinks. Its bad for anxiety. I haven't had caffeine after 2pm in a very long time admittedly. But this is good to know.
She wants me on a proper sleep schedule. She says that you have to wake up with the sun and be in bed during the night. Currently I tend to go to bed at 4:30AM+ and wake up whenever I wake up. She says I live like a vampire. lol. Last night I fell asleep after 6AM and woke up at 10 AM. rofl. 4 hour sleep. But I don't feel tired. I haven't been sleeping much lately and been feeling wired. Before my ex chewed me out, I was sleeping 10+ hours a day and feeling lethargic.
Said to pay attention to what calms me down and write it down. And to journal every single anxiety event and rate it from 1 to 10. She says to pay attention to my symptoms when I am anxious and write them down in my journal.
She encouraged me to ask out some of my matches on Tinder on a coffee date. I have 5 matches on my free account. I plan on upgrading to Tinder Platinum with the 1 year discount soon when my bank transfer to my prepaid visa gets settled. I'm going to purchase Bumble Premium lifetime membership soon as lifetime is only $50 CAD more than the 6 month membership ($200 vs $150 CAD). I want to go hard with this dating thing. I really want to find love. I'm never going to get over my ex until I find love again. I can't stop thinking about her warm, moist, tight brown sugar walls and the way she'd make me feel when we'd cuddle and how she'd moan in pain from my girthy cock. I need another hot gf or else I'll never get over her. My last gf was a 2/10 noodlewhore that I settled for and I was unhappy. She just fed my ego telling me how my cock was the biggest she had and I was the best fuck she had and so handsome.
She agrees with me that a dinner date or even a bar date is too much for the first date. I complained that some women would use me for free meals and drinks in the past, free rides. This is why I have been hesitant to ask women out recently on apps if they don't seem all that interested in me. And she agrees with me that I shouldn't have to spend money on dinner, drinks when I haven't even forged a connection with someone first. She says ask them out for coffee or something low investment like that. And if they're not cool with it, then don't ask them out.
She says that I hold my ex in a pedestal in my mind and that I need to just go out there and date. She understands why I got sucked into a Borderline's world. I formed an intellectual and emotional connection with her because we met off sluthate, she was attractive, the sex was amazing.
I'm getting up there in age. Mid-late 30s. I don't have much youth left. I feel like I need to shoot my shot now before I get old (looksmax already thinks I'm old. But I do look youthful for my age). And I like how she is pushing me to take action. I feel like she gets me. She knows that I have been rotting away for years and that I shouldn't be wasting more time.
I did feel worse after my last incelexit thread. I believe that the liberal redditors do not have the best interests at heart of incels and black pillers. They just want to put us down and make us worse tbh. Liberals think in terms of black and white, good vs evil, orcs vs humans. They have us pegged as the baddies rather than understanding us as fully fledged humans. But the therapist made me feel a lot better. She has 7 years experience. She really cuts to the chase. She knows her shit. She knows how to ask all the right questions to get to the bottom of things quickly. I had all these notes prepared for just my ex alone and wondered if 45 minutes would be enough. And she was able to have the relationship all figured out in minutes by asking strategic questions. She totally understood what went on. Autistic dude with social anxiety gets sucked into a Borderline's world. Maybe she's seen this before.
I'm going to try in vain to fix my sleep schedule today. lol. I need to get my sleep schedule under control before our session next week. I think I'm going to give Bumble BFF a shot to try to find a new friend. My Chad friend just asked me if I'd go over technical analysis for trading/crypto in-person with him. So maybe we'll talk about that over drinks at a bar or something. And then I gotta push myself to go talk to a girl at the bar. I gotta do it. We gonna make it.
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