_MBL
Iron
- Joined
- May 24, 2025
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I'm a 16y 5'7 ltn and I'm a slavic/Arab mix and I hate it so much because it had brought me nothing but suffering and pain through my whole life , The first 10 years in my life were in Europe and I obviously knew how to speake the language but I always hated being different than the other kids they always told me I looked korean and I hated it so much even from when I was a little kid I hated seeing pictures of myself because of my weird mixed face , most of my siblings lean to the slavic side in looks tbh they look pretty American but I'm the only one out of 7 with black hair and pale skin I look like no race at all everywhere I will ever go I will get deemed as weird looking , When I moved to the Arab gulf in 2020 it was even worse since I look nothing like the pricks here and I remember my arab cousins bullying me to the point of crying and my aunt had to comfort me , I started getting online at this time and I watched mostly English content which made both of my original languages even worse , 2022 I went to an actual proper school for the first time in my life it was the 7th grade and I remember all the kids being taller and bigger than me and ever since 7th grade and since we moved to our own house I have not had a single social conversation with anyone other than my family in about 4 years now , in 2022 I also watched Blackpill content on yt like hamza , Wheatwaffles , Brett maverick and brae and his mewing transformation , That was the first looksmaxxing video I saw and I genuinely thought I was gonna have a transformation like him when ill turn 16 , I remember watching glow up tiktok compilations and crying to them because I hated the way I looked and I was 12 at this time , Since January 2024 I have has extreme depression and I've been reaching new lows now I'm really scared that I'm gonna end up in mental hospital in a few years , I have had extreme social anxiety and mild depression for a very long time now and no social conversations or events through out my whole life , I only had like 3-6 friends in my entire life and that was when I was a little kid exclusively and I saw them like once a month only so I'm basically not just khhv I'm also friendless even online I never had any friends , Spent this summer finally trying to ascend and improve my life and my mental health has worsened extremely and I grew only 2-3cm in height and made tiny facial improvements but that's it and so far 11th grade has been hell for me , All these guys in this country look way worse than me lol like 1/3 of the guys in my school are facialy deformed or obese and they are my height too and that is the worst part that I look less worse than them but still get treated and disrespected and avoided all day like im some ant next to these rich rechid pricks that will somehow still get married since it's actually pretty easy for ugly men to get a partner in this country and I still will never be like these sub5s mainly due to my inhibition and race and I cannot take this rage and sadness and pain anymore the only reason why I haven't roped yet is because I'm still religious and just hope puberty will help me since im a underdeveloped late bloomer , idk why I'm posting this as a 1st post but I hope people relate to this kind of mixed race treatment of being rejected by both of your races .
