I hate college... I feel like everyone's talking behind my back...

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FeelingUgly

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Just ranting here, I know logically that I can't be that important to be in the center of attention.
I've always had this egocentric approach not because of narcissistic tendencies but autistic ones, I have problems with looking at the things from different perspective than mine. Wouldn't wish autism (and adhd to boot) to my worst enemy. Ritalin that I take makes me even more paranoid, so I hear they laughing even louder. I always think they laugh at me and not with me. I thought isolation is the solution.. ye maybe but definitely not long term for me. Idk how to cope, everyday I go there I have some false hope in me that maybe today is the day they will start liking me genuinely.
 
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I slightly thought that in the beginning as well. But it's not the reality. Ppl are busy with themselves and most ppl are a bit awkward - it's more likely your own insecurity and you'll be surprised that people might like you more than you think.
 
I slightly thought that in the beginning as well. But it's not the reality. Ppl are busy with themselves and most ppl are a bit awkward - it's more likely your own insecurity and you'll be surprised that people might like you more than you think.
I know that It's in me but sometimes its just too real.
 
Nigga just talk to people, nobody cares about you
 
just keep grinding bro
 
Just ranting here, I know logically that I can't be that important to be in the center of attention.
I've always had this egocentric approach not because of narcissistic tendencies but autistic ones, I have problems with looking at the things from different perspective than mine. Wouldn't wish autism (and adhd to boot) to my worst enemy. Ritalin that I take makes me even more paranoid, so I hear they laughing even louder. I always think they laugh at me and not with me. I thought isolation is the solution.. ye maybe but definitely not long term for me. Idk how to cope, everyday I go there I have some false hope in me that maybe today is the day they will start liking me genuinely.
1) Just approach a group of people, talk and act in an over-enthusiastic or memorable manner.
2) Leave your backpack there with an audio recorder or your phone set on recording mode.
3) Say you need to go to the toilet, then return after a few minutes.
4) Listen on the recorder to what the people talked about you, when you weren't around them.
 
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