Ponomarevans
my life is shit
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2026
- Posts
- 8
- Reputation
- 4
I hate my life. I hate every part of myself, from my face to my fingers. I don't know why I became like this. I grew up in a decent family. As a child, I was, to put it mildly, mentally retarded in the sense that I did all sorts of crazy things, but nothing criminal or breaking social norms. Basically, I was probably different from the very beginning. I lacked social skills from the very beginning, I didn't know why people smiled, etc. I think I have a couple of disorders, but I've never been to a psychiatrist. In short, everyone has a terrible opinion of me, to put it mildly, from children to teachers, the grandmothers from the neighboring building, and my own parents. Until I was 16 (I'm 17 now), my parents (particularly my father) often told me I was an idiot, a disgrace to the family, etc. Basically, because of all this, because I wasn't like everyone else, I had very few friends. Currently, I probably only have one friend I can confide in. We've known each other since we were babies, but we started hanging out closely when we were 12 or 13. From the very beginning, I saw through the rottenness of this world: the hypocritical people, the children dying of starvation in Africa. I know that looks, social status, and money determine absolutely everything; I've personally verified this. Honestly, I'm so fed up with this life. I thought this feeling would pass, but since I was 13, it hasn't gone away—that this world is rotten, that no one will ever be able to truly love me. I'm seriously starting to think about rope; nothing brings me joy, practically nothing. I can have fun in some company, but inside there's an absolute emptiness that eats away at me. I started lookmaxing back in 2013 or 2014, but back then all I knew was mewing and a smattering of knowledge. Now I've gotten really into it and had a glow-up. I know I look better, but nothing has changed, practically nothing. I think I'm completely blackpilled. God, I honestly wrote such nonsense. I'm sorry, you don't have to read this, but thank you very much to everyone who did. This is my heartfelt cry; I have nowhere else to vent except on this forum. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask them, I'll answer them all.
